Page 31 of The Sign for Home

Then the girl did something no one had ever done before. She placed her mouth on yours, breathed in your breath, and let the wetness of her mouth drain into yours. Suddenly there was a feeling of such joy fluttering around your heart, and at the same time you felt an overwhelming sense of melancholy at the thought that the kiss would end. It was the most beautiful pain you had ever felt.

“My name A-R-L-O… Name-sign: A…”

The ghost child pressed her perfect fingers into your palms. “I know your name.”

Then she signed your name-sign like she had always known it.

Before you could ask her name, she kissed you again. That time it was even deeper and hungrier. You pressed your body against hers. There was a desperation to your hands and lips. Suddenly she was a locked room you needed to enter. Your hands wandered to the sinful places of her body, but she pushed you away and leaped off the bed.

“What’s wrong?” you signed into the darkness. “I sorry. Come back. Please.”

A second later you felt the vibration of her small feet run out of the room. A soul sickness overwhelmed you. You felt sadder than you had ever felt, but not because you had committed a terrible sin. Because you could still taste the ghost child’s lips on your mouth and understood there was no guarantee you would ever meet her again.

13LUNCHTIME EPIPHANIES

Molly had a broken molar and was outside the classroom trying to call for an emergency dental appointment. All morning Arlo had barely said a word to me, which surprised me considering his openness the previous Friday.

“Did you have a nice weekend?” I asked. “Molly is still in the hallway.”

I wondered if it was Molly’s presence that caused his restraint. But after tossing out a briefokay, he returned his hands to his lap. I wasn’t ready to give up.

“Did you finish writing the Whitman response paper? That was such a great idea you had.”

He merely shook his head no. Had I offended him? After our conversation about awe and the sublime on Friday, the sudden chill felt a little like being ghosted after a fantastic first date. I was dumbfounded. Professor Bahr finally returned and handed out a flyer about a field trip to Albany set to happen at the end of July, and reminded the students that there would be no extensions for their response papers that would soon be due. As the students were leaving, Molly pushed her way back into the room, holding her inflamed cheek with a look of mild agony.

“I hate to do this,” she began. “The only appointment my dentist has this week is in twenty minutes. Could you help Arlo get his lunch in the cafeteria?”

“Sure. I have to kill some time anyway. Good luck with the tooth.”

“I don’t believe in luck,” she said in the most Mollyish of ways. “Just seat him at an empty table at the front. He’ll give you exact change for the lunch. It costs $4.75. He always has the same thing: a baloney and American cheese sandwich. White bread, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise. No mustard. He hates mustard. Bring it to his table and then you can leave.”

Molly looked at Arlo and then at me. Beneath her tooth pain, I perceived a different concern.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “Go. I got it covered.”

“Just do us a favor,” Molly said, lowering her voice. “Please no more extracurricular discussions about religion or anything of that sort. Brother Birch doesn’t like it, and it makes Arlo uncomfortable.”

“Excuse me?” I said, utterly confused. “I never…”

Before I could ask her what the hell she was talking about she was out the door. I scanned my mind for anything I might have said that could be perceived as religious. I came up blank until I remembered the sublime. Was that it? Had I totally misread Arlo’s reaction? I felt like an idiot.Oh well, I thought,you’re damned if you do and, well—in my case—just damned.

I tapped Arlo on the shoulder.

“Lunch?”

The cafeteria was packed. Hordes of summer students were cramming into the lunch line and filling the tables.

As we dodged the hurrying, hungry bodies, Arlo took my elbow and walked a step behind me as though he and Snap were my nervous prom dates. A blind person taking your arm in this manner is pretty standard, but still, for some reason, the intimacy made me uncomfortable at first. It had been years since another person had held my arm in public. Then I noticed some frat boy type staring at us, snickering and muttering what Iassumed were homophobic comments to his friends. You’d have thought the guide dog might have given him a clue.Asshole.

I found Arlo and Snap an available table near the front. The old guide dog lay down at her boss’s feet. I turned to go get the baloney sandwich like Molly had told me, but when I glanced around, I saw how all the tables were filled with young people talking and laughing. I looked back at Arlo sitting completely alone, abandoned on his DeafBlind island. I returned and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey. Molly said I’m supposed to go get your sandwich, but I was wondering if you’d like to come up and order it yourself?”

Arlo looked almost surprised, like I had just suggested we go smoke some crack or something.

“You mean, we stand in cafeteria line together? Allowed?”

“Of course,” I signed. “No law against it. Come on.”

---