Page 39 of Disco Witches of Fire Island

Joe asked Ronnie to hold up while he made a round of kamikazes for a group of guys from Staten Island who were celebrating a friend’s recent breakup, and then he had to serve about five more customers before he could turn his ear back to Ronnie.

“Okay, expensive shoes,” Joe finally said. “So what?”

“The point is, he likes me. I think it could be something serious.”

“Where’d you meet him?” Joe said as he washed the stainless-steel tumbler on the scrubber brush that stuck out of the sink.

“The Meat Rack. But he didn’t even ask me to fuck him right away. Just mutual sucking and a quick rim job. He says he wants to get to know me first before we go further. That’s gold, right? We also have a ton in common. He’s read, like, all the New Age books I’ve read, and evenfinishes them. Also, get this: he owns an apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, has a place in South Beach, and is building this nutso-ritzy beach house out here—right on Ocean Boulevard. It’s massive. Everyone is talking about it. It’s gonna be finished in about two weeks. He’s the real deal, Joey. The real fucking deal!”

Joe’s hope of getting Ronnie’s attention long enough to discuss what he’d seen in the crawl space was completely gone. His friend was lost in the glittering swamp of romantic fantasy. And the more he thought about it, the more he knew Ronnie wouldn’t be the oneto talk him down. Ronnie had already made up his mind to hate Howie and Lenny and might just agree with anything Joe said just to get him to move out. And then, if it all turned out to be a big crazy mistake, he might never get Ronnie and the boys to become friends. No, it was best to let Ronnie follow his most recent romantic infatuation to its conclusion and for Joe to dig a little deeper until he was one hundred percent certain about what he had seen.

“If he’s what you really want. But”—he tossed his head toward Vince, who could be seen through the glass door, collecting beer bottles on the deck—“what about him?”

Ronnie’s elation fizzled like a wet firecracker. “You had to bring that up.”

“Look,” Joe said. “Vince can be a dick, but he’s also a decent guy.”

“I know that,” Ronnie bristled. “But like I told you before, Vince and I have no obligation to each other. It’s just sex. He and I talked about it.”

Joe raised an eyebrow. “You told him about this new guy?”

“Of course not. I’m not gonna rub his nose in it. I intend to have a conversation with him soon, but I wanna do it right. That’s why I need you to back me up.”

“What do you mean?” Joe asked warily.

“I’m telling Vince I’ll be cleaning up after a late-night catering gig at Jerry Herman’s place so I won’t be able to meet him after the bar closes. So, if he asks—”

“Fuck you, Ronnie,” Joe hissed under his breath. “I’m not lying for you.”

“You don’t need to lie. Just don’t say anything yet, okay? And remember why we both came out here. I’m just keeping to my plan, right?”

“Yeah, I guess. But still, don’t play Vince for a fool, okay? Can you at least tell him tomorrow?”

Ronnie crossed his heart. Joe nodded but did not smile.

“Hey, I got about two minutes before I gotta bolt,” Ronnie said. “So what’s that weird shit you said you saw at Howie and Lenny’s?”

“Nah, it was nothing. Forget it.”

“If you say so. You’re still going out dancing, right? Remember, you have a purpose out here too—starting with having a good time.”

24.Fun on the Outside

“It’s at night when the gods and demons boogie most freely with our hearts. Dance with them, but beware.”

—Disco Witch Manifesto #32

The air outside the Promethean throbbed with dance music. Rivers of men in tight shorts, combat boots, and tank tops poured into the club from every direction. Despite having done two shots of Jägermeister before leaving work, all of Joe’s excitement about his first big night out had been replaced by anxious thoughts. Was it the right time to go out and let loose? He was living on an island filled with dying gay men; a possible hot, muscled-up, Gladiator ghost; and what may or may not be a coven of gay pyromaniac Disco Witches—and he was supposed to just forget all of that (and Elliot) and go have fun?

As Joe turned to head home to 44 and¼Picketty Ruff, a voice called out from the edge of Fire Island Boulevard.

“Hey, Joe!

It was Elena, dressed in a sweatshirt and shorts, stunningly beautiful as always, calmly sitting, like an oasis on the edge of the boardwalk, with a thermos of tea. Next to her sat that same blonde cashier from Mulligan’s grocery—the pretty one Joe had assumedwas Fergal’s girlfriend that day he had seem them sitting together. He sure had misjudged Fergal there.

Elena waved him over. “Come meet my new friend, Cleigh,”

Joe crossed and shook Cleigh’s hand. “Hey,” he said.

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