Page 102 of Friends with Benefits

“I still don’t want marriage.”

“And yet you are married.”

“I don’t want tostaymarried orbemarried. Theo does. So.”

“You’ve talked about it? Youknowthat?”

No.

They haven’t talked about it recently, but she remembers their high school debates. Hurling words at him about the institution of marriage and patriarchy, how she never wanted to be bound to anyone with a piece of paper. Using her grandparents as an example.Look at Pep and Mo. Never married and the healthiest couple we know.Theo pushing back, so gently.It’s wild enough to choose someone and for them to choose you back… but to commit to that choice? To believe in it, despite logic and data and statistics? I don’t know, I think that’s pretty cool.

So.

She does know.

“Ev.”

Evie doesn’t mean for tears to ricochet off wet clay, never means for her little sister to see her cry. “I don’t want to do it again.”

“Love?”

“Trust.”

Hanna only loved her so long as they wanted the same things. Evie believed they did, when all along Hanna thought she just needed time to come around on the idea of marriage, to come around on relocating to Atlanta, to come around on building a life on her terms. At first, the nudges were so gentle, she couldn’t see them. Didn’t notice the pressure building with each question, every offhand comment.

Isn’t, like, half your team remote?

Did you know that Emory has a dedicated Crohn’s and Colitis research center?

My parents are getting older, Evie. We could buy a house. Well, at least a condo? It makes sense.

Then Hanna proposed and, for the first time, it occurred to Evie that maybe the woman she loved didn’t understand her at all, and she tried to explain, shetried.

I love you, Han, but I don’t need to marry you.

I want to do life with you, Han, but I can’t marry you.

I won’t marry you.

Hanna accepted a job offer in Atlanta the following week.

Love wasn’t enough for Hanna.

Shewasn’t enough.

Imogen’s expression softens. “Theo isn’t Hanna.”

“What if it doesn’t work out?”

“What if it does?”

“Seriously? Did we even have the same childhood?”

How is Imogen so optimistic? Evie is baffled. Jealous, even. Hanna is the last person Evie trusted, but she wasn’tthe first. No. The first person she trusted with her entire heart was her mother. Naomi, who told Evie and Imogen that she loved them. Every night before bed. And then, one day, just left.

“No.” Imogen’s eyes meet hers. “We didn’t have the same childhood, because I hadyou.”

Oh.

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