Page 104 of Friends with Benefits

It’s hard.

Over these last two weeks, she’s been noting her limits—learning when to push and when to rest. She’s also reminded that Theo is a fantastic masseuse. If he applies just the right amount of pressure to her arch, it’s almost as good as an orgasm. And Evie can’t deny that it’s nice when he interrupts a rehearsal with a blueberry banana protein smoothie, that she hasn’t had to worry about meals, that she could focus on the work. Every night, she crashes on the couch, her feet on his lap, and wakes in her bedroom cocooned in her duvet and feels so cared for.

Supported.

Loved.

Evie arches her back, then bends into a forward fold.

Replays her conversation with Imogen.What if it doesn’t work out?

What if it does?

Her body is screaming at her to rest. But her brain cannot because she wants this to go well so bad. It’s not just a chance to prove herself to Sadie—but a credit that she desperately needs to legitimize her career, to validate her union application, to file for divorce. It’s the plan. It’s always been the plan. So. Even if reverting to platonic soulmates feels impossible right now? She isn’t that selfish.

No.

Theo deserves his white picket fence of a life someday, with someone else.

If you want this, there isn’t room for much else.

Sadie said that.

Sadie—

A knock on her door interrupts this spiral. Theo pokes his head into her room. “Why are you still awake?”

She removes her earbuds. “Can’t sleep. You?”

“You.”

Evie wipes sweat from her upper lip. “Sorry.”

Theo opens the door all the way and steps into her room. “Ev. You’re ready.”

“I’m just—”

“You’re ready,” he repeats. Firm. Steady. “Go shower. Get ready for bed.”

“Bossy,” she teases. “Will you be joining?”

Theo leans against the doorframe. Shrugs. Evie calls his bluff. Pulls her tank top over her head and throws it at him. Slips out of spandex bike shorts. Revels in the way eyes that once would’ve averted their gaze don’t just look but linger. She expects him to follow her into the bathroom. Into the shower. Is way too disappointed when he doesn’t. After, she tosses on a vintage Billy Joel concert T-shirt that used to be Lori’s. It’s soft and stretched out, the shirt Evie always sleeps in before an important day. In bed, she stares at the ceiling. Counts backward from one thousand, so aware that she needs to sleep.

Cannot sleep.

“Ev?” Theo whispers.

“Yeah?”

A moment later, Theo’s shadowed silhouette is above her, a mug in his hand. She isn’t sure when he started shorteningEvelyntoEv, whyEvbecame the default, how her heart can have such a wild reaction to one syllable. Evie presses her palms into the mattress and sits up. Leans against the headboard as he sits on the edge of the mattress and holds the mug out to her.

“Chamomile tea.”

Evie takes the mug. Has a small sip, then places it on her night table and scoots over to make space. Once Theo is lying next to her, she presses her mouth against his because she’s still a little selfish. He responds with a soft, quick kiss.

“Theodore.”

“Good night.”

---