Page 108 of Friends with Benefits

As if Theo doesn’t know he’s at an increased risk, that CDC guidelines suggest first-degree relatives begin screening a decade prior to the age their immediate family member was diagnosed. Lori was thirty-eight. Theo is about to be twenty-eight. Even without a family history, colon cancer has become a leading cause of death in people under fifty. It’s what kept him awake last night, the reason his brain and body couldn’t settle until he climbed into Evelyn’s bed. Evelyn, who has regular colonoscopies because her autoimmune disease puts her at an increased risk for the cancer that killed his mom, too, a fun fact that absolutely does not terrify him. Lexapro does wonders for managing these fears, but he’s still unprepared for Dr. Keating to state this one so casually.

Based on your family history.

“Right.”

Dr. Keating’s eyes meet his, her expression softening. “You have zero concerning symptoms, Theo. It’s just a preventative screening. Insurance will cover it because—”

“—of my family history.”

“Exactly.”

Theo leaves Dr. Keating’s office with a referral and his heart in his descending colon as he processes how fucked it is that he’s so easily able to get a preventative screening with zero symptoms. His mom had had worrying symptoms that were brushed off for years because she was young and otherwise healthy. Lori died from a cancer that’s treatable with early detectionbecause she was denied early detectionand because she was denied early detection… he qualifies for it.

Theo wants to scream at the unfairness of it all.

He blasts “Seven Nation Army” on the drive home, ready to decompress by listening to aSurvivorpodcast and deep cleaning the kitchen. Evelyn’s car is parked outside their building. Inside, he finds her curled up on the couch watchingLove Islandand clutching a heating pad.

Pain.

Evelyn is in pain.

“Are you okay?” Theo drops his backpack on the floor on his way to her. Curses under his breath, as if this is somehow his fault for not paying closer attention to the toll taken by two weeks of obsessing over complex choreography. He kneels in front of the couch, eye level with her. “What do you need?”

“To be seventeen again.” Evelyn pauses the episode, her eyes meeting his concerned gaze. “The fatigue is fatiguing and I’m just relieved that Sadie gave me the afternoon off, but otherwise? Totally fine. More than fine. Today wasincredible, Theodore.”

His shoulders relax. “Yeah?”

She nods.

Theo sits on the other end of the couch, lifting her legs to place them on his lap, and rubs her feet as she tells him about her day, about the session, about how it felt to dance again. Her socks have tiny avocados on them. As she reaches for the remote to resume the episode after sharing her news, he considers plucking the remote from her hand and blurting out his news.I am interviewing for a job in New York.These past two weeks, he justified not telling her because he didn’t want his opportunity to distract from hers. But now, on the other side of the session, what’s his excuse? He needs to tell her. Word vomit all his messy, complicated feelings and just see where her head is at. Once this episode ends.

After a cliffhanger conclusion, she palms the coffee table for her phone and her face scrunches, confused, at whatever is on the screen.

“Wait. Why are you home so early?”

He’s never home before 4:00 p.m. on a school day. “Doctor’s appointment.”

“Oh.”

“Just my annual. I kept putting it off because, well…” Theo shows her the referral on his phone, then shrugs. “…because.”

She sits up.

Reads.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really. No.”

“When is your appointment?”

“I haven’t made one.”

Evelyn scoots closer to him. “Don’t fuck around with this. As someone who has had”—she counts on her fingers—“five, I promise it’s a chill screening. Like. In terms of pain? MyIUD insertion was way worse.My period cramps are worse. Granted, my barometer for pain is different, but I swear you don’t have anything to be anxious about. Truly. It doesn’t hurt.”

But this hurts.

“I’m not anxious. I’m pissed.”

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