Page 112 of Friends with Benefits

It’s an accidental admission that emboldens him to press his palm against hers, to weave their fingers together. “Ev. You are part of the equation. Always.”

Theo states this so simply, and she isn’t sure if there has ever existed a combination of words so tender, so terrifying.

“I don’t want to be.” Evie pulls her hand out of his and steps back, back, back because she can’t believe that this ishappening again, her pushing him away for their own good. “You can’t stay for me.”

“Ican.” Theo takes a deep, measured breath. Closes his eyes, then continues, “But also… you could come with me?”

“What?”

Evie remembers when Imogen told her about Denver, moments before plummeting down Big Thunder Mountain.It was easy. Saying yes.If she loves Theo, why does every bone in her body screamno?

“New York was always our plan? Right?”

Sure. As children. When both their dreams led them there. Now his is within reach there, but she has a new dream, one that’s within reach right here. Still, Evie closes her eyes and tries to imagine herself in New York. She can’t. It’s exhausting to think about moving across the country, finding new doctors after years spent building trust with her current team of physicians, securing an apartment in an elevator building because no way in hell can she deal with endless stairs during flare-ups, living so close to Naomi.

No.

“I can’t move to New York. What am I supposed to do there?”

“There are Foley jobs! I did some research. Checked. Before I even applied.” Theo runs a hand through his hair, his ears turning pink.You are part of the equation.“You could freelance. Or work for a studio. I know it’s a competitive industry, but you’ll have Next in Foley on your résumé. So—”

“But I’m building a network here. I can’t just give that up. To what? Follow a man across the country?”

Theo flinches. “Aman?”

Evie continues, “Take the job. Why wouldn’t you?”

“Because, Ev. I—”

“Don’t.”

Silence.

Theo clenches his jaw.

Exhales.

Then he asks, “What are you so afraid of?”

You.

You.

You.

She crosses her arms and clutches her elbows. “I need a beat.”

Then Evie retreats to her room, a part of her hoping that he will follow, but she’s mostly just relieved that her tears can free-fall when he doesn’t.

NEW YORK, SPRING BREAK, FRESHMAN YEAR

Theo

Theo meets Caro at the basketball court adjacent to the West Fourth Street subway entrance. Pops one, two edibles, then offers them to Caro when she greets him.Literally, the only perk, she says, plucking one from the tin with a cheeky grin. When you’re the kid of someone who had cancer, the universe provides access to a medical marijuana card. Theo used to be so overwhelmed by so many feelings, but now he just pops a gummy that dials down the intensity, that dulls his anxiety so he can function. He pockets the tin and takes Caro’s hand, leading her toward the nearest Duane Reade.

“Snacks?”

Caro nods. “Obviously.”

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