Page 124 of Friends with Benefits

“Mr. Theo—”

“Milo.” His voice is firm. Sharp. “Sit. Down.”

Silence.

Twenty-two sets of eyes stare wide at him. Theo doesn’t snap at his students, doesn’t snap at anyoneever, but he is exhausted. Some days, he worries it’s a mistake. Leaving Foothill. Moving back to New York. Accepting a job developing curriculums for kids when he’s found so much meaning and purpose workingwithhis students. But in this moment? He can’t get out of here fast enough.

“I’m sorry.” Theo presses his index and middle finger to his forehead in an attempt to dull the early stages of a tension headache. “Can we not talk about Ms. Evie?”

Sierra looks at Kaia, then whispers loud enough for the entire class to hear, “Ms. Evie made him sad.”

“We hate her,” Annabelle declares.

Sierra’s nod is emphatic. “Obviously.”

At this swift,protectiveturn, he can’t help but laugh. “Don’t.Idon’t.”

He doesn’t.

Theo just misses his best friend.

“You know what I do hate?” Theo asks.

Annabelle gasps. “You can’t say that word, Mr. Cohen.”

Theo looks at her likeReally?, then stands and continues, “The average score on this spelling quiz! Let’s figure out these words together.”

Kaia frowns. “Shouldn’t we have ten more minutes to read?”

Theo replicates theReally?look, then gives Kaia permission to finish her chapter because he knows the rest of her day will be thrown off if he doesn’t. Then he’s at the board, writing down theuiwords that tripped up his students.Circuit. Anguish. Guilt. Bruise.Then frowns at the board as if he’s justregistering these words for the first time, as if he didn’t create this spelling test. If his students notice the theme, they don’t say anything. For the rest of the afternoon, they’re nice to him. It’s disconcerting.

At the end of the day, Tyler compliments his shoes on his way out the door.

Theo needs to get himself together.

You literally dropped me.

It’s been a month since Evelyn’s response toI love youbroke his brain, since he signed an offer letter in an attempt to ease the pain, the guilt, theblamethose words reactivated. He relives the memory every night, is seventeen again and back in that conference center in Anaheim, before drifting into a restless sleep. Does she still blame him for the fall that ended her dance career before it began? He does. Blame himself for it. Hate himself for it. And even if she doesn’t… if Evelyn just panicked and said that precise combination of words to hurt him?

It worked.

Rendered him an asshole.

Okay, Naomi.

Theo made such a mess out of his first attempt at vulnerability. Now he’s just doing his best to move through time on autopilot. Stays late to get his grading done, then goes home and cooks dinner for two, leaving the second serving in the fridge. Weekend mornings, he wakes up early and trains for a half marathon that he’ll never run because her snoring permeates the walls and it is unbearable. EvenSurvivoris a bummer, watching it together but nottogether. None of this is what he wants, but it’s for the best.

Evelyn doesn’t trust him.

Because it can’t be on me. When he regrets it.

Theo knows those words weren’t meant for his ears, butfuck, it hurt so much to hear the raw honesty in that confession to her therapist. He couldn’t have been clearer about his feelings andthatwas her takeaway? That he’d regret her? In that moment, he didn’t know how else to convince her. Didn’t want to have to convince her.

So.

He took the job.

Because if she is really, truly incapable of believing him, it’s easier to just give in, to be the person that she already believed him to be. Choose New York, the better salary, the life that he imagined for himself at twenty-three. Leave.

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