Page 131 of Friends with Benefits

She hiccups. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Pep’s answer is so simple, so obvious. “You’re in love.”

Evie is exhausted, so sick of everyone telling her how she feels.

Hates that it’s soobvioushow she feels.

“Am I like Naomi?”

Pep’s brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“Theo said I am.”

“People say things they don’t mean when they’re hurting, Sweets.”

“I don’t know. I stay. I’mhere. But sometimes I get so overwhelmed and I just… check out? Just like Naomi did. Does. Maybe I am like her. Jules is right. It’s always about Naomi. Iambasic and boring.” She wipes snot from her nose and exhales a sharp laugh. “I threw the accident in Theo’s face. My fall. Made him think I blamed him for it. I don’t know why. No, I do. I think it really messed me up? Not because I lost dance or because of my diagnosis.” Evie lets out another shuddering breath. “You know what one of my first thoughts was on the way to the hospital?Mom will come home.”

Evie has never said those words out loud before.

“Oh, Sweets.”

“She didn’t. Or, well, she didn’t stay. Obviously.” Months after Evie was discharged, when she broke down over this at Theo’s house, it was Lori who held her hand, who told her the purple tulips next to her hospital bed were from Naomi. Her mom did make an appearance, dropped off those flowerswhile Evie was asleep. Didn’t stay because seeing her daughter in a hospital bed, hooked up to so many machines? Learning that all this time Evie had an undiagnosed IBD? It was all too much for Naomi. Too much forher. “So. How am I supposed to trust him, anyone, when she didn’t stay for me? Mymom.”

“Listen to me, Evelyn.” The furrow deepens, her grandmother’s expression turned sad and serious. “Naomi’s decisions have nothing to do with you. Some people are just not capable of being a parent. Okay? Her loss was our gain. David’s loss, too, though I suppose that one’s on me. Him being raised by a workaholic and all. You and Genny were my chance to do better, and you have to know your grandfather and I think the world of you. We love you.”

Evie blinks back fresh tears. “I’m sorry.”

Pep rubs her back. “What on earth are you sorry for?” Evie wordlessly gestures at the mess that is herself and earns a soft chuckle, then her grandmother holds her closer. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

“I think I love him.”

“You think?”

“I can’t leave LA.”

“Why not?”

“Well. I can’t exactly bring my doctors with me, and I spiral into panic at just thethoughtof finding new ones. I don’t want to. So.”

Pep nods. “I understand that. But Ev? Your care team will still be here if New York isn’t the right fit. Or maybe they won’t! Maybe Jules will switch practices and no longer take your insurance. Maybe Dr. G’s research will take her elsewhere. There is no guarantee that staying means keeping them forever. But you trust them, right? So, if there’s a part of youthatdoeswant to go, trust them to set you up with excellent care, no matter where life takes you.”

Pep’s point is a fair one. Evie hasn’t considered this and will surely spiral over her care team leavingherbefore falling asleep tonight. Cool. Awesome. “It’s not just that. I sort of have a great thing going here with Sadie?”

“New York isn’t exactly lacking in opportunity.”

Evie blinks. “Are you, Peppy Bloom, suggesting I put my career on the backburner and move across the country for some man?”

“Theo isn’t justsome man.” Peptsks, swatting her shoulder. “Stay! Go! Either way… it’s okay to try to make it work, to hold on instead of push.”

“Even if the end result is the same?”

“You don’t know that, Sweets.”

“Ido.”

“How?”

“I don’t want to be married to him.”

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