Page 137 of Friends with Benefits

“Okay.”

“I think—” She exhales a shaky laugh, then lets go of him and stretches the sleeves of her sweatshirt to cover her hands before pressing them to her cheeks, allowing fabric to absorb her tears. “I freaked out and I knew it would hurt. Blaming you. I think Naomi fucked me up.”

“Ev—”

“Jules clocked me weeks ago. Idoshove you out the door. Then I get pissed when you listen and stay away. It’s not okay. I’m so sorry. You scare me, Theodore. I want impossible things with you. Forever kind of things. But my definition of foreverdoesn’t match yours and I don’t know what to do with that because—”

His mouth meets hers, cuts off this declaration like a coward.I want impossible things with you. Evelyn is still holding tight to marriage being this deal-breaker, but Theo doesn’t give a fuck about what he thought he wanted when he was a child. He grew up. He should tell her this. Instead, he memorizes the shape of her mouth, its taste, thisfeeling, before he agrees with her, their definitions don’t match, and it’s going to hurt.

“It’s not supposed to be this hard,” she whispers against his mouth.

“It’s not.”

Loving Evelyn Bloom has always been as effortless, as necessary, as breathing.

But if he loses her?

If their story ends like Jacob and Lori’s?

How will Theo breathe?

“I love you, too,” she says. “Obviously.”

Obviously.

That one word forms a fissure in his resolve. Evelyn reaches toward him, her thumbs brushing away his tears. Theo isn’t sure when he started crying.Fuck.She removes his glasses. He resists his impulse to smash the heels of his hands to his eyes to stanch the emotion.

“I signed start paperwork.”

“I know. You’re going.”

He nods. “And you’re staying.”

“For now.”

Evelyn’s eyes meet his, shimmering and hopeful, but Theo is so used to his best friend pushing, to her giving him an out, that he isn’t sure what to do with this information.For now.He won’t allow his heart to latch on to it. Pasadena is home. Her future is here. It’s better for him to go.

To let her stay.

Understanding flickers in Evelyn’s eyes. Then she’s in his arms, burrowing her face into his shoulder, and this hurts, too. Theo isn’t sure how long they stand in stillness, holding each other.

“Pep is going to be furious,” she says against his throat.

“Jacob, too.”

She shakes her head. “Did everyone see it?”

“Obviously.”

Evelyn’s lips brush against his pulse. “For what it’s worth, you were a fantastic husband.”

“You weren’t a terrible wife.”

Her smirk is sad as Theo presses his lips to her forehead, protecting his heart and breaking it all at once.

29

Evie spends the next two weeks falling asleep alone and waking up next to Theo. Her restless heart wakes her in the middle of the night and thrums his name until she’s on her feet. It doesn’t settle, her heart, until she slips under the duvet and curls her body around his, the big spoon, just like she would when they were kids.I love you, too. Obviously. When sunlight filters in from his east-facing window and her eyelids flutter open, the first thing she registers is her hand in his. How even in their sleep, their fingers twine together. Usually, she slips her hand out of his, slips out of his bed before he wakes. This morning, she chooses to stay, to hold on for as long as possible.

---