Page 44 of Friends with Benefits

“Why aren’t you wearing a ring?” Wednesday Addams (Sierra) asks.

“Because,” Milo begins, now standing before the class. “He didn’t want us to know. Obviously.”

Annabelle scrunches her nose. “That’s really weird, Mr. Theodore.”

This whole Mr. Theodore era? It’s one thousand percent Evelyn’s fault, for calling him that at IKEA.Theodore! I had no clue that your Milo… is Natalia’s Milo!As soon as Milo giggled, Theo knew. One casual Friday, he wore red high-top Converse sneakers. Milo had the class calling himMr. Clownfor an entire week. Kids are brutal. But Mr. Clown learned a valuable lesson—their ruthlessness was heightened by a reaction and validated by the laughter of their peers. So. He doesn’t love being called Mr. Theodore, but he acts unbothered. Refers tohimselfas Mr. Theodore. Because if he’s in on the joke? It’s no longer funny.

“Deception!” Jeremiah, the Luigi to Milo’s Mario, yells.

Kaia nods. “I amaghast.”

“What’s her name?” Sierra asks.

“Theirname,” Annabelle corrects. “Don’t assume, Sierra.”

Theo has a choice to make. He can raise a stern eyebrow and tell his kids if they don’t get through all fifty states now, he’ll have no choice but to make up the lesson duringSurvivorFriday. Or he can leverage their interest that borders on entitlement to information about his personal life to get through the lesson.SurvivorFriday is his favorite part of the week. He doesn’t want to reteach the capitals when they could be doing the color block puzzle.

Is it even a choice?

Theo blasts “1985” by Bowling for Soup.

Sierra covers her ears. “Mr. Cohen!”

“What did we do to deservethis?” Kaia whines.

Jeremiah groans. “I just got this songun-stuck.”

“Here’s my offer,” Theo says, after cutting the music. “If we can name all fifty capitals before lunch, I’ll spill the details that, for whatever reason, you want to know.”

Annabelle scoffs. “Whatever reason?”

“This ismajor, Mr. Theodore!” Kaia says.

“So do we have a deal?” Theo asks.

Silence.

He restarts the music.

“Fine!”

“Deal!”

“Whatever.”

Theo laughs. “Great. Now, who can tell me the capital of South Dakota?”

They get through the entire country with ten minutes to spare. Ten minutes is almost too much time to allot to this.It never ceases to amuse him, what motivates his students. A deal is a deal, so Theo calls on raised hands and answers any reasonable question about his so-called marriage.

Her name.

Evie.

How they met.

At Miss Stella’s dance school.

Why he didn’t tell them.

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