Page 49 of Friends with Benefits

Theo braces himself.

She sees it, too.

That stupid look on your face.

In the photos.

“Pickleball. Is it just, like… tennis with paddles?”

Theo laughs, ignoring a feeling that can only be described as relief, then shrugs helplessly. “I have no clue.”

11

“I’ve got a large vanilla latte with oat milk forEE-vie.”

Her name is written on the cup in black Sharpie.

EEVVIE.

It’s never not surprising, a barista’s ability to mess up a four-letter name. Eve. Evvie. Evey. Eevie. And that’s justthis week. Evie grabs a handful of sugar packets on her way out the door. Sadie Silverman—Evie’s mentor—doesn’t do liquid sweetener. She prefers the texture of sugar granules in her coffee. Evie doesn’t (read: shouldn’t) drink coffee, so yesterday, she asked Theo to make his the Sadie Silverman way. If marrying her wasn’t testament enough that he would do anything for her… nearly choking to death on his latte à la Sadie definitely confirmed this.

Her coffee order is among the many reasons why one should never meet one’s heroes.

Back in Phoebe, Evie places Sadie’s latte in a cup holder and checks the time. She has ten minutes to drive the two miles from Romancing the Bean to the Burbank soundstage where Sadie Silverman is currently contracted to record Foley for thelive-action remake of Disney’sChicken Little. Evie wants to know… who asked for that. In theory, she should be early. In the reality that’s LA traffic, she’ll be at least five minutes late. Sadie Silverman won’t care. Evie will hand Sadie Silverman her latte, and the moment the cup with her butchered name on it leaves her hand, she will become invisible. Seriously. Latte à la Sadie tethers Evie to her human form. It’s her only purpose as a fellow—besidesobserve—and maybe her expectations were too high.

Of Next in Foley.

Of Sadie Silverman.

On Monday, the first two words Sadie Silverman said to her wereYou are?

Evie Bloom, she’d said, then added as soon as it was clear that her name meant nothing to Sadie Silverman.Your fellow.

Sadie Silverman blinked.Right, of course!

Then she uttered her basic yet unhinged coffee order, along with a soy matcha for Charlie—her mixer in the sound booth with a salt-and-pepper beard and heterochromia—and sent Evie to Romancing the Bean, the only coffee shop within a five-mile radius Sadie Silverman trusts. By Wednesday, she learned that latte à la Sadie is a daily ask. So today, Thursday, she opts to preempt the ask by showing up to the studio with it already in hand. Maybe Sadie Silverman will see this as taking initiative.

Maybethiscoffee will be a breakthrough in their non-relationship.

Driving down Magnolia, the newest Olivia Rodrigo single blasting through Phoebe’s speakers, Evie sees zero flaws in this logic until a red Tesla makes an unprotected left out of a residential street, cutting her off as if it is entitled to.

She slams the breaks.

Screams, “Fucking fuck!”

Evie doesn’t hit the Tesla.

But half of latte à la Sadie is in her lap.

Do not cry.

Do.

Not.

Cry.

But she can’t stop the stressed, pissed-off tears from falling down her cheeks for the remainder of her drive. She pulls up to the studio gate and flashes her badge, then parks and wipes off smudged mascara. Her stomach cramps andfuckthe gut-brain connection. Evie would sever it herself if she could. Phone in hand, she calls Theo to curse out the Tesla. He doesn’t answer. Of course he doesn’t. It’s 9:00 a.m. on a school day.

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