Page 69 of Friends with Benefits

Evelyn releases his hand, basking in Jacob’s attention, and that ugly jealous feeling reignites as she shares updates Theo already knows and Jacob listens. Asks follow-up questions. Is attentive. He doesn’t love her relationship with his dad, but he really hates witnessing it, hates even more how much he wants it for himself. Theo is supposed to not care.

Notwant.

But accept.

“And you, Theo?” Jacob’s eyes shift to him. “How’s… school?”

His jaw tenses, burned too many times to be tempted to bask. “Good.”

“Good.”

The oven beeps.

Jacob stands. “Frittata’s ready.”

His dad cannot escape fast enough.

“He’s baking?” Theo asks, as soon as Jacob is out of earshot.

“He’schefing, Theodore.”

Theo knows that his father is capable in the kitchen, denies that maybe he himself is capablebecauseof Jacob. Theo’s memories in the kitchen are so vague, so entirely incompatible with the rest of his childhood that he sometimes wonders if he made them up. Images resurface. Kneading dough together, the gentle pressure of his father’s hands over his. Waking upto the sound of the stand mixer at 2:00 a.m. Each of them licking batter straight off a beater. Feelingclose.

“Did you know he wanted to be a pastry chef?”

Theo shakes his head, but if his memories are true, it doesn’t surprise him.

“He applied to the Culinary Institute of America,” Evelyn continues. “Got in, too… but his father wouldn’t let him go. Told him that men didn’t belong in a kitchen and encouraged him to pursue a business degree, to follow him into real estate, to be a provider. He listened. How messed up is that?”

Theo blinks. “How do you know this?”

“We talk.”

“Right.”

“It makes me wonder who he would be. You know?”

“No.”

“It’s context.”

Context that, if anything, illuminates exactly who Jacob Cohen is.

A coward.

The frittata is delicious, the scones even better, and it’s infuriating. Unlike Evelyn, Theo doesn’t want to wonder if Jacob Cohen, the pastry chef, would’ve been a different sort of dad. Supportive. Nurturing. Not a sexist asshole. What’s the point of wondering? It’s not who he is. Theo swallows his fury with each bite of his father’s food in pointed, indignant silence. Allows Evelyn to be the one to carry the conversation, to ask questions, to care.

“How was last week?” Evelyn asks.

“Macarons are not for the faint of heart.”

It turns out, Jacob’sthinglast weekend was a master class with aGreat British Bake Offwinner. He shows them the photo he took, holding up his sad, deflated macarons next toa white woman in chef garb, whose blond hair is graying at the roots. Theo recognizes the woman.Bake Offis one of his comfort shows. It reminds him of his mom.

Evelyn laughs. “You tried?”

“Silvie says I have potential.”

“Silvie?”

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