Page 72 of Friends with Benefits

She may as well have said,Why don’t you go get coffee with a friend while I fuck my former coworker?

Theo doesn’t react. He just finishes his bagel, crumples the foil, and licks cream cheese from his fingers, then says, “Maybe I’ll text Caro.”

“Yeah?”

Evie knows that Caroline Shapiro-Huang lives in Harlem. A law student at Barnard, per Instagram. She also knows that Caro is his Saskia. They were never serious, not like Evie and Hanna’s relationship. Except. Caro wasalsoTheo’s prom date, the person who reminded him of home during undergrad, his longest situationship.

Theo’s mouth quirks. “It’d be nice to catch up.”

Translation:I can get laid, too.

And why shouldn’t he? Get laid, too. Really, she should want this for them. Because the last time her tongue tasted skin it was his, the last time lips kissed her they belonged to him, the last time she touched herself she came to images of Theo’s mouth between her thighs. She needs a factory reset to deprogram the way her body reacts to him. She needs space to remind her body, her brain, tonot go there. Because of course it’s easy. Living with Theo. Coming home to Theo. Being with Theo.

This marriage is messing with her head.

It’s not real.

She doesn’twantit to be real. Evie blew up her relationshipwith Hanna, who she loved,who loved her, because she didn’t want to be married. Ever. She lost Hanna. She won’t lose Theo, too. Won’t ruin their friendship for the potential of something more when she knows he’s someone who sees marriage in his future. It’s not fair to him—to either of them, really.

He’s her platonic soulmate.

Platonic.

Theo stands, pulls a beanie over his ears, and tosses her duffel over his shoulder. She bundles up, then follows him to the L, dragging her suitcase. Its wheels leave an imprint. Evie isn’t used to it. The wetsloshof her steps. Walking in shoes with no tread. Cold that whistles with abiteand stings her nose. Theo points out meaningful locations on their way to the train—his first apartment, the independent movie theater that screens foreign films, the elementary school where he student-taught. Evie is mesmerized by the shape of his breath, the warmth in his voice, the shift in his posture. He points to a building where he once saw children selling apples from their kitchen window, the stupidest smile on his face.

She’s never seen this Theo before.

Almostvibrating.

In the science of sound, there’s the phenomenon of resonance. It happens when an object or system is subjected to an external force or vibration that matches its natural frequency. What’s wild is that when this happens, it absorbs energy from the external force and starts vibrating with a larger amplitude. And Evie thinks, for the first time in her life, that she’s witnessing this phenomenon in a person. Theo’s natural frequency matches New York.

New York amplifies him.

“Do you ever think about moving back?” she asks as the train approaches.

Evie doesn’t hear his answer.

Just screeching brakes.

Theo still has people in the city, so they take the train to Bushwick to crash with one of them. Dev Kumar, who lived with Theo in an apartment-style suite during their freshman year at NYU. The roommate she didnothook up with the one and only time she visited. Really! That was Topher. Now Dev is a general surgery resident at NewYork-Presbyterian. He’s at the hospital, so he left a key in a lockbox attached to a window grate outside. Evie assumes that his life is like an episode ofGrey’s Anatomy. Dev’s apartment is small but tidy, with a laminate floor and gray walls and stainless-steel appliances. A space that would be described in a listing as “gut renovated.” The second bedroom is big enough to fit a sleeper sofa that pulls out into a double bed and a Peloton that doubles as a drying rack.

Evie removes her shoes, then her socks, which are soaked through. She questions every decision that led to numb toes, so terrified that being here is a mistake, but still hopeful she’ll be happy that she showed up anyway. She can’t wait to tell Jules. Ask,Is this growth?Jules will laugh. So. Even if this entire weekend is a major disappointment… at least it will be a great therapy topic that isn’t about Theo. Unlike the last three.

Four.

Five.

Ugh.

Evie unzips her suitcase, then immediately forgets why she unzipped her suitcase.

“Evelyn?”

She blinks. “Hmm?”

“When are we supposed to be at the synagogue?”

“Shabbat starts at five.”

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