Page 11 of Kiss Me, Maybe

“I was eighteen!”

“Nevertheless, I’ve wasted too much time to have all my firsts bethatawkward.” I shudder. “How about we put it to a vote? Let’s see what my new followers have to say about this.”

“I can’t believe I know an influencer now.” There’s equal parts rancor and pride in her tone. But it only lasts for a moment before she says, “I know you joked about dating the internet, but are you sure you want to invite social media into this?”

I’ve made a few more videos since going viral, but they haven’t been nearly as successful as the update video I put out after deleting the accidental thirst trap. I wasn’t surprised. I never thought that I’d suddenly get a massive following and every video I did afterward would get the same numbers. However, I am gaining an audience. In the past month, I already have almost seven thousand followers.

“I get that you’re searching for community,” Marcela goes on. “I really liked the last video you put out, about figuring out your identity. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I’d hardly call myself an influencer.” Though I’ll admit, the prospect does sound exciting. “But I want to do this. Ineedto do this.”

Marcela heaves a long-suffering sigh. “There’s no chance I can talk you out of it, is there?”

“Not at all,” I say, pointing the camera at us. “Besides, what’s the point of searching for love if there isn’t any flare to it?”

CAPTION:

SCAVENGER HUNT: YAY OR NAY?

@ANGELA CLOSED CAPTIONS:I know I joked a couple weeks back about dating the internet, but I have an idea that just might be bonkers enough to work… if there’s anyone watching who’d be interested in being my first kiss, that is.

I explain the idea in much the same way I did to Krystal last week and Marcela now. I’m not sure what I’m expecting to happen once the video is posted. Definitely not to go viral again, but after two hours I have twice the normal amount of engagement.

Notifications flood my lock screen like a dam has broken. I’m stunned by all the attention, but far more pleased than anxious. Even so, I can’t help the niggle of anxiety that makes goose bumps erupt across my skin. Marcela’s nervous glances don’t help either.

@LetiIsTrying:This sounds incredible! Dying to join!

@Kylie:I love the scavenger hunt idea! What city is thishappening in? How do we sign up?

@Priya:Wow, you really were serious about dating the internet. Hyped to see how this all turns out!

“Looks like I win,” I say, scrolling through the comments with a ridiculously wide smile on my face. The same rush I felt when I first came up with this idea hits me again.

But there’s also a pang of regret weighing on my chest. Here I am at almost twenty-eight years old, and it’s taken me this long for the shame I’ve harbored for years to finally begin to abate. I needed this normalized a decade ago, when I was made to feel embarrassed for my inexperience. When I made the choice to hide behind facades instead of embrace who I really am, unapologetically.

And then, inevitably, I scroll down to a rude comment.

“What’s wrong?” Marcela asks. When I don’t answer, she grabs the phone from my hands. “‘Who makes it to her age without being kissed? Don’t fall for it, she’s lying for attention,’” she reads aloud. Then she scoffs. “How do you delete comments on here?”

“Don’t delete it,” I say. “Five new ones will pop up in its place, anyway.”

“People online truly are the scum of the earth, aren’t they?” She hands me my phone. “So, you’re really going through with this?”

I nod, excitement and something else building in my chest again. Determination. “I’m gonna do it. Now I need to start planning.”

Four

CAPTION:

CONSIDER THIS MY OFFICIAL APPLICATION TO BE YOUR INTERNET GIRLFRIEND

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

A slideshow of five of Angela’s best pictures with text overlaid at the top of the screen.

POV:

You’re the girl who’s trying to date the internet because you’ve been single for so long you have no idea where to start and dating apps are the place where romance goes to die so your solution is to plan an elaborate scavenger hunt to finally experience your first kiss.

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