Page 54 of Kiss Me, Maybe

I already am. A blast of red fireworks lights the sky, so close I can fool myself into believing I’m able to reach out and touch them. Another blast, this time white and green. A shower of colored sparks directly above our heads.

“Wow,” I breathe. “Wait, where are the fireworks coming from?”

“Six Flags.” She shrugs, but her eyes are twinkling. “I haven’t been here since they opened the park back up for the season. You reminded me when you asked about my favorite view in the city. Well”—she glances back up at the sky as another round flies into the air, this time pink and purple—“here it is.”

“This is incredible,” I tell her, awestruck.

“I know.” She smiles, showing her teeth. “There are probably a number of good spots around here to watch them from, but this one’s my favorite. The parking lot’s almost always deserted.”

“I didn’t know you could see them so clearly from here.”

“Isaac had a night class here once. He didn’t have a car at the time, so I used to pick him up when the shuttles stopped running. That’s how I found out about the fireworks. I came back one night when he didn’t have class and drove around until I found this spot. Then I parked, hopped onto the hood of my car, and just… watched the firework display.”

“Wow.” The sky is full at this point, sparks raining down as new shapes replace them. “So you found yourself a secluded, comfortable spot to watch the fireworks show for free. And with snacks.” I shake my head at her, but I’m smiling far too widely. “You little rebel.”

“This is like the upgraded version of sneaking outside food into a movie theater.” She laughs. “My mom would be proud. Which is exactly why she can never know this spot exists.”

A laugh bursts out of me. “This would make a great first date spot, actually. Especially when the nights get cooler, and you can cuddle up with your absurd amount of blankets.” I use one to cover my shoulders. “Who else have you taken here?”

She goes quiet for a moment. Then, without looking at me, she says, “You’re the first, actually.”

“What?”

“You’re on hallowed ground, Angel,” she says lightly, but her eyes are burning with an intensity that clogs my throat. “I don’t show this place to just anyone. It’s too… personal.”

Something charged fills the air when she looks at me now, and I’m overcome with an emotion I can’t name. It’s a lot like that moment in her bed, lying side by side, both of us breathing hard. The one at the top of the Ferris wheel, the dying sun setting her hair on fire and her calling me an angel with no amount of teasing whatsoever. Now, beneath a shower of sparks, hidden away in a place she hasn’t shown a single soul but me.

“But you don’t mind sharing it with me?”

She doesn’t answer the question, but she doesn’t look away from me either. This is somehow even more romantic than the top of the Ferris wheel at sunset, maybe because of how special this place is to her. If I tip my face forward, would we pick up where we left off?

For the second time tonight, I wonder what it would feel like. The brush of her lips against mine, the sweep of her tongue, the graze of her teeth. My pulse races at the possibilities. My arms are shaking, jittery from nerves, but it’s not an altogether bad feeling. I hardly know what I’m doing when I start to lean toward her, our faces a mere inch apart, and then—

“I’ve decided I’m not going to kiss you,” she says, almost reluctantly. It’s the last thing I expect her to say when our faces are this close together. If there was ever a time to kiss someone, it’d be now, wouldn’t it?

“What?” I blink at her. “Why not?”

“This is your first kiss, Angela. I can’t be the one to take it from you,” she explains. “Your first kiss should be yours to give freely. If you decide to give it to me, I’m honored to have that moment with you. If not, that’s okay too. It’s your choice. That was the whole purpose behind the scavenger hunt, wasn’t it?”

My heart feels so full that she understands what the scavenger hunt means to me. Even so, part of me can’t help but resent myself for coming up with the scavenger hunt idea in the first place. But it was my choice to take charge of my dating life, to discover what possibilities were out there for me. Nothing is going according to plan, but one thing is clear: until I decide what is happening with the scavenger hunt, I can’t kiss Krystal. No matter how much I may want to.

“I really hate how right you are.” I lean away from her until my back hits something solid. Then I stifle a groan. “You would’ve kissed me when we were on the Ferris wheel.”

“You’re right. I would have.” She nods, sighing softly. “But I’m glad I didn’t. It gave me the chance to really think about where you are in all of this. What you need from me.” She pauses a moment, choosing her words. “You asked for my help in setting up the scavenger hunt. No matter what happens or how I might feel about you, I’m going to ensure everything goes according to plan. Even if that means you end up with someone else at the end of it.”

Even though I know she’s right, there’s still one detail I can’t get past.

“How you might feel about me,” I repeat, and she glances away. “How do you feel about me, Krystal?”

Is that too direct a question to ask? She still won’t look at me, even though I can’t take my eyes off her. But I’m not lettingher off the hook, even if it’s the polite thing to do. Even if ultimately we want different things.

“How do you feel about Leti?” Her tone is even, not throwing the words at me like a jab I’m not expecting, even if that’s ultimately how they land. “You know what? Don’t answer that. It’s not fair of me to ask, and I probably don’t deserve to know anyway.”

“Everything is confusing,” I tell her. “I just… I wish things were different. Nothing is clear to me anymore.”

“Well, at least we both can agree on that.” She smiles sadly. “I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t. Not you, Angela.”

“Because you think you’re not capable of love.”

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