Page 59 of Kiss Me, Maybe

I glance down at the first level when we reach the landing. Julian is sitting on the couch downstairs, eyes trained on the blaring TV. Theo is helping Marcela in the kitchen, so I don’t feel as bad for abandoning her to make dinner on her own. I’ll make it up to her later.

“How did your family take it when you came out?”

She nods, understanding dawning in her eyes. “My parents were surprisingly okay about it. Other family members… not so much.”

“Julian came out before I did, so I got a firsthand look at what would happen when it was my turn. Once I started to realize I was queer, I couldn’t stop thinking about the shit he went through. But he ended up making the path easier for me to come out. The last thing my parents wanted was more discord, but they made it clear that they supported me no matter who I loved.”

“It must’ve been hard for him, being the first,” Krystal says. “Is that why he lives with you now?”

I nod. “His dad’s an asshole. His mom supports him, but it’s not enough when his parents are still together. They can’t live peacefully under one roof.”

I lean my arms against the railing. “My parents used to host all our family gatherings here, but they stopped last year when a fight broke out between our dads. My dad essentially told his brother he needed to get over himself and take Julian back. Tío Manuel made some wholly distasteful remarks about Julian, his own son, in front of our entire family. I saw everyone’s true colors that day. It didn’t take them long to pick sides.”

“I can’t even imagine what that must’ve been like for him,” Krystal says. “When I finally came out to my mom, she thought that was the reason I broke up with Isaac.” Her mouth twists into a half scowl, half dry smile. “I think she needed a more concrete reason than the one I gave her.”

“Did you ever come out to him?” I ask her. “Did he think the same?”

“I told him a year before we got engaged. That was never a problem for him. My parents and certain family members were the last ones I came out to. I knew how they’d react, which is why I waited for as long as I did.”

“Oh no.” I wince. “Was it really bad?”

“I expected worse.” She shrugs. “My parents are supportive in their own way, but we’re not that close anymore.”

“Really?” I ask her. “Because of what happened with your ex?”

“Yeah.” She lets out a sigh. “I see them every few weeks. We catch up, I get a free meal, and then I leave before they get a chance to bring up my failures. The degree I don’t use, leaving Isaac, why I don’t have a real job yet, et cetera.” She waves a hand. “I stopped paying attention a long time ago.”

“Ah.” I tip my head in a commiserating nod. “I get that. Mostly from my mom, wondering when I’ll start dating and find someone to be with long-term. My dad’s always been content to leave me be, figure out what I want in my own time.”

We don’t want you to be lonely.

Right now, I’m far from that. My heart feels as full as it’s ever felt, flooded by this makeshift family I’ve found for myself. Marcela and Theo, Julian, and Krystal. If Leti’s as cool as Marcela says she is, perhaps her, too, once I’ve figured out my shit when it comes to the scavenger hunt.

And then the doorbell rings.

Twenty-Six

Julian answers the door. I watch from above as Briana and Esme make their way inside. They exchange greetings and hugs, Briana’s voice carrying all the way up the stairs. She lifts her head, spotting me immediately.

“Bitch, get down here!” Her arm waves me forward. “I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“She seems friendly,” Krystal mutters under her breath, but her eyes are assessing. She knows everything about Briana and Esme, how small they’ve made me feel over the years. “Are they—” I nod grimly before she can finish, and she gives a sympathetic wince.

“They wore Julian down, apparently.” I let out a long sigh. “All right. Let’s go get this over with.”

Her hand catches my wrist, stopping me from taking the stairs back down. “Are you okay?”

“I will be,” I say, and I almost believe it. “I’ll be fine.”

The last time I hung out with Briana and Esme was a year ago, before I came out to my parents. From a cursory glance, they haven’t changed much since then. Briana’s dark hair is straightened, falling to the middle of her back. She pulls me into her arms in a strong hug. I’m always surprised by her strength, given that she’s even skinnier than me despite having two kids. But also because this is the kind of bone-crushing hug you give someone you miss, not someone you’re mad at for lying to you. Over her shoulder, Esme and I wave to each other. She’s never been a hugger like her sister.

“It’s been way too long!” Briana pulls away slightly to get a better look at my face, her grip strong on my shoulders. “How have you been?”

I’m not sure how I get through the small talk, but somehow I manage. At least, until the doorbell rings again. Krystal and I exchange confused glances as Esme bounds to answer the front door.

“That would be the boy toy of the month,” Briana answers my unspoken question. “Well, it’s been more like three months at this point, which is approximately two months and three weeks longer than I thought he’d last, so props to him.”

Great. Now I have three unexpected mouths to feed. The portions are going to be so small, it’ll be like eating at a Michelin-starred restaurant except far, far worse.

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