Page 62 of Kiss Me, Maybe

“You want to talk about who should be ashamed of who?” Esme rises from her chair, towering over Krystal’s seated form. “Who the hell do you think you are inserting yourself into a conversation that has nothing to do with you? Who evenareyou, aside from the woman who left my boyfriend at the altar?”

Krystal’s face turns white.

“That’s enough.” I stand up after my cousin, walking around the table until we’re eye to eye and inches apart. “I’m not doing this with you. You’re not going to attack my friends after I welcomed you into my home.”

“It’s your parents’ house,” she scoffs. “They don’t even make you pay rent.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that neither of you were invited.” My arms cross over my chest as I glance between Esme and Briana. “And I won’t allow you to talk to Krystal that way.”

“What about the way she talked to me and Briana?” Esme rages. “We’re yourfamily.”

“Nothing she said was a lie.” I take a step closer. “And aftereverything you put me through, you can’t convince me you don’t deserve it.”

“What I said wasn’t a lie either,” she huffs. “How can you be friends with someone capable of hurting Isaac the way she did?”

Briana rises from her seat next, quickly followed by Julian, Marcela, and Theo. Julian stops Briana from whatever she’s about to say, lowering his voice to a register I don’t catch. My best friend makes her way around the table until she’s pulling me into the kitchen, away from the commotion of the dinner table.

“Are you okay?” she asks. “Scratch that. Stupid question. What do you want us to do?”

The dining room has devolved into full chaos now, with Esme shouting something over her sister’s shoulder, an accusing finger pointed at Julian’s chest. Not even Isaac can seem to calm her down. She shakes off his hand on her arm like she’s shaking off a gnat. Theo is slowly backing away from the table, eyes skating the room like he’s unsure what to do.

All the while, Krystal is eerily still in her seat, staring down at her full plate as everyone else argues all around her. Even after she hid this huge secret from me, I hate myself for unknowingly putting her in this situation to begin with.

“I have no idea.” I shut my eyes against the scene. “God, this is amess. I never should’ve avoided Briana and Esme for so long. This never would’ve happened if I faced up to them sooner.”

Speaking of, Briana breaks herself away from the group and stalks toward us. Without a word, she pulls me from the kitchen by the wrist and leads me outside. Marcela tries to stopher, but Briana practically bites her head off with a look. I give a silent nod to my friend, assuring her I’ll be fine before following my cousin to the backyard.

“Angela, I’m so sorry.” I’m startled when she pulls me into her arms in that same bone-crushing hug so familiar to her. Only this time, her grip is even stronger than it was in the foyer. Not in a bad way. In a reconciliation kind of way. “I’m so incredibly sorry, okay? I didn’t realize how much I hurt you back then, but I should have.”

My eyes burn with an onslaught of tears I don’t expect. From the apology I never expected to receive from her.

“I mean it, okay?” she says once she pulls back slightly. “I know we don’t get to see each other as often as we used to, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you in my life. We’re family. We haven’t always stuck by each other in the ways we should have, but I don’t want you or Julian to feel like you have to avoid me because I won’t accept you for who you are.”

“It wasn’t just that.” I wipe at the tears tracking down my face. Briana notices the wetness on my cheeks, and her face falls. “I was never afraid you wouldn’t accept me. You stood up for Julian against his father. I still remember the way you laid into him.”

“I guess it’s that protective instinct that kicked in.” She laughs. “Motherhood changes you.”

“I’m sure it does.” I chuckle lightly. “I knew you’d accept me. I guess I was more worried you wouldn’t be able to understand me. Especially given that lie I told you and Esme after senior year, and everything I’ve said and done since.”

“You don’t owe me an explanation.” She waves a hand. “I’ve seen enough of your videos to get the idea.”

It’s a bit of a relief to hear that, but even still I want her to hear it fromme, not the version of me I send to the internet, now that she’s given me the space where I feel safe to do so.

“I lied to get you and Esme off my back, and that’s the truth. I was never trying to trick you guys or willingly deceive you. But I won’t lie, it hurt that it took a lie like that to get you guys to finally treat me like a friend. When I started college, I made a vow to myself to start over. To never put myself in a situation like the one you and Esme put me in again. I only ever told one person the truth, and that was after I knew I could trust her without a doubt.”

“I’m sorry we made you feel like you weren’t good enough to be our friend.” Briana’s hand closes over mine. “And that you felt like you had to hide who you are because of it. God, I was an even bigger bitch than I realized, wasn’t I?”

“Looks to me like you’re growing out of most of it.” I smirk. “Once I came out to myself, I wanted to jump to the end, you know? All I want is to live my life the way I should’ve been this whole time. I knew how confusing that would be for the people I didn’t come out to, which is why I avoided you and Esme for so long.”

“Can you forgive me?” Briana squeezes my hand, eyes imploring.

“Of course I can forgive you,” I say, surprising myself by how easy that was.

For one cousin, at least.

Twenty-Eight

It’s quiet by the time Briana and I return inside. Isaac and Esme are standing by the front door, the former glancing around anxiously while the latter taps her foot impatiently. Her sigh is loud, as if the foot tapping didn’t make it clear enough that Esme’s ready to leave.

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