Page 65 of Kiss Me, Maybe

After making some calls on Tuesday night to secure a few places for two weeks from now, I catch sight ofThe Woman in Wantinghanging from my wall. Her eyes seem to pierce through me, questioning how I can solidify a date for the scavenger hunt without Natalia. “Don’t look at me like that.” Great, now I’m talking to digital art prints. “Natalia isn’t going to help me. She told me so herself.”

The print doesn’t respond, because it’spaper. “You want me to prove it?” I grab my phone and scroll to find Stephanie’s contact. “I’ll show you.”

She answers on the third ring. “Angela, hey.” Stephanie sounds breathless, like she’s been running. “How’s it going?”

“Good, for the most part,” I respond. “Is Natalia available to talk?”

“Sure thing, she’s right—” There’s a bit of shuffling. I can just make out voices mumbling back and forth. It goes on for so long, I think about hanging up. I glance back atThe Womanand mouth,Told you so, when a new voice finally comes on the other end of the line.

“What do you want?”

“Natalia.” I didn’t think she’d actually take my call. “How are you?”

“The same.” I wait for more words to come, but that seems to be it.

“Oh, well… I’m sorry.”

“Why are you calling?”

It’s obvious she hasn’t changed her mind about helping me, and it almost feels like adding insult to injury to ask again. If she’s not showcasing anywhere, asking for her involvementcould potentially mean asking her to create a whole new art piece, which is a huge ask on its own even without considering her slump. I should hang up and apologize for wasting her time. Instead, I’m staring at the art print Natalia gave me and wondering how off base I am in my interpretation.

“What doesThe Woman in Wantingmean?” The question comes bursting out of me without forethought.

“What do you think it means?” I cross my arms and slump in my desk chair. Figures Natalia would answer a question with a question.

“I know whatIthink it means,” I tell her. “I’ve been applying my own false meaning to it since I spotted it from the Tower of the Americas. I poured so much of myself into a mural I couldn’t even touch, and then it got washed away. Just like that.”

“It spoke to you,” Natalia says. “What’s always drawn me to art is that there’s no right answer really. There’s no one telling you your interpretation is wrong. You use your senses to explore what an art piece means to you, how it makes you feel, what emotions it provokes. It obviously provoked something in you.”

“I guess you’re right.” As unsatisfying of an answer as that is, it’s all she’s willing to give me. Not that she owes me any kind of explanation. Maybe it’s better this way. I get to keep applying my own meaning without the artist’s intention influencing me one way over another.

“I’m sorry, by the way,” she says. “I shouldn’t have told you to quit TikTok. If anyone had told me back then to quit sharing my art online, I wouldn’t have listened. I shouldn’t have acted like I knew better than you about what would happen. You’re not me, even though meeting you felt like historyrepeating.”

“It’s okay, Natalia. I think I get it now. You were just looking out for me, even if it came out…”

“Like I’m a raging asshole?”

“I was going to say aggressive.” I laugh. “Is it okay to ask you what happened?”

A deep sigh fills the phone static.

“The same bullshit, over and over, until I couldn’t take it anymore,” she says. “It started when one user asked me if I was queer. This was before I had an answer—when I was exploring how I felt about myself and queerness through my art. You know the nature of the internet; they don’t like when an answer isn’t tied up with a neat little bow.”

Isn’t that the truth. Ever since I commented on Will Mora’s post about me, I’ve been getting more questions than ever. A few people even migrated back to my most recent video to demand answers.

@Christine:Why say you’ve never dated before when you clearly have? Even if it was just one date with @WillWorksOut that didn’t go anywhere, it still counts.

Replying to @Christine

@Katie:Wait, someone catch me up. What happened?

Replying to @Christine

@Alisha:Did you see what her cousin commented? I don’t know what to think to be honest…

Replying to @Christine

@TheGreatAcecape:I’d hardly say it counts if she wasn’t attracted to him.

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