Page 66 of Kiss Me, Maybe

I’d left another comment explaining the situation much like the one I’d left on Will’s video, and that was the end of it. At least for now.

“And then when I finally had an answer, they didn’t like that either,” Natalia continues. “Apparently, being asexual isn’t queer enough. Or I’m lying, or confused, or making up my experience to feel special. It wore on me. Especially when the people who once praised me and my art turned around and made their own platforms dedicated to destroying mine.”

“Jesus. Natalia, that’s terrible. I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“I guess you could say influencing, content creation, whatever you wanna call it”—she scoffs—“it didn’t work out so great for me. But maybe you’ll be different.”

“I’m not sure,” I admit. “I think I just got embroiled in my first online scandal. Maybe it comes for us all eventually, if we’re determined to share our lives on the internet.”

“What happened?”

I tell her about Will’s video and the questions that came out of it, including my cousin stoking the flames.

“I see. What are you going to do?”

“It’ll blow over,” I say. “I’ve already explained what happened. Twice, actually. It’s their choice whether they believe me or not.” She’s silent for so long, I’m not sure she’s still on the line. “Natalia?”

“Just promise me you’ll be careful,” she says. “And if theshit hits the fan again, call me.”

“You mean call Stephanie?” A beat later, an incoming text from Stephanie lists ten digits. “Wow. And here I thought you hated me.”

“I don’t hate you, Angela,” she says. “I’ve just… been through this before. I’d hate to see what happened to me happen to you.”

“You think it will?” She’s silent long enough for me to realize I don’t really want to know the answer. “You don’t think I’m stupid for putting on an entire scavenger hunt just to have my first kiss and broadcast the entire experience online for hundreds of thousands of people to witness?”

“You’re taking control of your life,” she says. “There’s nothing stupid about that. I only wish I could do the same.”

“Thank you for saying that. And thanks again for the art print. It’s lovely.”It’s haunting me.But I don’t tell her that, because I think Natalia has enough ghosts of her own to contend with.

When I hang up, I’m not dissuaded from moving forward with the scavenger hunt. If anything, I’m even more determined to see this through. So what if I’ve had a few setbacks? I can still pull this thing off and have my first kiss the way I originally planned to. Maybe even date around afterward, figure out who I am inside of a relationship. With Leti, or with someone else. It’s what I want. It’s what I’m ready for.

Besides, Krystal has made it clear numerous times that she’s not ready—notcapable—of something more, which means I have to move on. I can’t make her change her mind, no matter how much I may want to. That’s something she has to figure out on her own.

I spend a few hours online after posting an update on TikTok, check my email for sponsorship requests (I guess I’m a real influencer after all), and then open a few message requests from followers in the San Antonio area.

The next week and a half passes in a flurry of planning and messaging potential participants back and forth. By Wednesday, I have five final locations secured with a few phone calls. By Thursday, I’m DM’ing women in town I’ve already been casually talking to online in order to confirm that they’d like to join in. Including Leti, I have at least seven women willing to participate in the scavenger hunt.

I should be excited. The scavenger hunt is nearly all planned out, I have more than a handful of willing participants, and I’m even planning an after-party at my house for everyone to get to know each other in a more casual way. But I still can’t get Krystal out of my head. I can’t help but wonder what we could be if she chooses to forgive herself. If she decides that she was wrong about love and that I’m partially the reason.

Stupid. Hopeless. And yet…

She’s still in the forefront of my mind on Friday night, when I have plans to meet up with Marcela and Leti. I’m hoping that afterward, I’ll feel reinvigorated about the scavenger hunt like I was when I first came up with the idea. I’m the first to arrive at Havana Bar by nearly an hour. Krystal is pouring drinks for a group of twentysomethings, smiling idly at them until she spots me. Her grin spreads, making my pulse jump. The group heads to a table once they have their drinks, and I quickly take their place at the bar.

“Hi.” She pushes a stray strand of hair away from her face.“This is an unexpected visit.”

“I’m meeting Marcela and Leti, but I wanted to say hi,” I tell her. “And I also wanted to let you know I won’t be needing your help anymore.”

The glass in Krystal’s hand overflows with liquor. When the liquid sloshes over the rim and puddles around the shot glass, she curses beneath her breath and makes a grab for a rag behind the counter.

“What do you mean?” she asks when she returns.

“I finished planning the scavenger hunt. I still need to make a couple calls before everything’s set in stone, but it’s done.”

“Good.” She nods, but something about the motion is agitated. “Did Natalia change her mind?”

“No. I called her the other night, and I don’t think it’s going to happen.” I shrug. “But after some brainstorming this week, I decided I could pull it off without her. So far I have five locations secured, a decent number of participants, and a date. Two weeks from now.”

“That’s… that’s great, Angela.” Her words don’t match up with her expression. She glances behind me and then down at the shot glass on the counter. “That group forgot a drink.” She picks up the glass and nods to the table behind me. “Sorry, I need to deliver this.”

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