Page 80 of Kiss Me, Maybe

“Stay as long as you need to,” I tell him. “No one’s kicking you out after you graduate. Take as long as you need to get it all sorted.”

“And what happens when your parents get back?” He looks at me like he’s not convinced staying here is a viable option either. “My dad isthisclose to finding out where I’m staying, and guess who’ll be his first call when he does.”

“Is it really so bad that my parents want to stick up for you?” I ask him. “It’s not your fault that your dad is a raging asshole who refuses to accept you. He’s the one who’s supposed to protect you from people like him. My dad knows that. It’s why he wanted you to stay here in the first place.”

“It’s also why he’s fighting with his own brother.” His hands are covering his eyes, which is why it takes me a moment to realize he’s crying. “He literally fled the city because he knows when my dad finds out, another fight will break out and it’ll be my fault.”

“Julian, look at me.” He doesn’t until I pry his hands away from his face. “None of this is your fault. Are you hearing me?None of it.” Tears are prickling my own eyes just looking at him. I’ve never seen my cousin this helpless before. His face is red from unshed tears, his eyes as glassy as I’ve ever seen them. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cry before.

“How can you say that?” he bursts out in an angry rush, but I know it’s not really me he’s mad at. “Of course it’s my fault. I didn’t even try to ease the family into it, and I made everyone pick sides. Maybe if I’d picked the right moment, or pulled him aside to tell him privately—”

“I hate to tell you this Julian, but there’s no right way to come out to someone who’s as bigoted as your father is.” I shake my head. “Nothing you can possibly say is going to be powerful or meaningful enough to make him see you. Just like there’s nothing I can say to Esme to make her see me. Once you finally realize that, it kinda takes the burden of changing other people’s minds off your shoulders. What they think isn’t up to us, just like their actions aren’t our responsibility. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but there’s something freeing about it too.”

“There’s nothing freeing about this.” He hangs his head in his hands, and my heart aches for him. “Not when I’m going to be homeless in a month.”

“No one’s kicking you out,” I reassure him again. “And if you try to move out on your own, I’ll call Theo to stop you. He’s the only person I know who’s big enough to barricade the front door.”

He chuckles slightly at that.

“Are you sure about this?” he finally asks. His shoulders deflate like a weight’s been lifted off of him.

I nod. “You’re always welcome here, Julian. And if there’s anything I can do to help, you know I’m here for you. You havea lot on your plate. That’s a lot for one person to carry alone.”

“I appreciate it, Angela. Really.” He lets out a relieved sigh. “Wait, why areyoucoming home so late?”

“Taking care of some last-minute details for the scavenger hunt.” My sigh is a more tired one this time.

“So that’s still happening?”

“Apparently, yeah.” I shrug at his questioning look. “Lucky for me, it seems like the only people who hate my guts live on the internet. Aside from Esme, I guess.” After I explained the whole story to Leti and the other participants, they assured me they were still interested in joining the scavenger hunt and that they were on my side.

“I really hate that she did this to you.” For a moment he seems conflicted, and then he says, “I’m surprised you’re still going through with it, though. It looked like there was something going on with you and Krystal.”

“For the first time in my life, I’m experiencing theit’s complicatedrelationship status,” I say, resting my chin in my hand. “I don’t think I like it very much.”

“It’s the worst,” Julian agrees. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Desperately.But it’s getting late and I know he has an early morning tomorrow. I don’t want to pile on any unnecessary additions to his overflowing plate.

“No,” I decide, shaking my head. “That’s okay.”

“Fine by me, but you’ll be missing out on some good advice,” he says. “Last year, I gave my best friend advice that made his current girlfriend agree to go out with him. If you’d like a reference, I’m sure he’d be happy to—”

“You’re not job hunting yet, Jules.” He makes a face at the nickname but doesn’t correct me. “And I’ll take a raincheck on the advice if it makes you feel better.”

“It does. Thanks.” He nods, rising from the couch. “Well, if you don’t need anything from me, I’m gonna go to bed. I nearly forgot how exhausted I am.”

He has a point. I nearly did too.

But when I lay my head to go to sleep, I can’t keep my mind from racing. Not knowing where I stand with Krystal is going to haunt me the longer we don’t talk.

Thirty-Seven

How’s everything over there?” My dad’s on speakerphone as I’m getting ready for work. “Is Julian doing okay?”

“He had a mini breakdown last night, but I think he’ll be okay.” I tell him about the stress Julian is under, excluding fears about what Tío Manuel will do when he finds out Julian’s been staying with us. My dad’s smart enough to read between the lines. “He’d probably feel better if you call and assure him he’s welcome here for as long as he needs.”

“That boy’s as stubborn as his father is.” I wince at the comparison, even if my dad has a point. Being stubborn must be a family trait, because they’re far from the only ones afflicted with it. “I’ve been telling him that from the beginning, but he’s so unwilling to ask for help. I’ll talk to him again if you think I’ll be able to get through to him.”

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