Page 61 of The Run Option

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Willow’s voice is small. “I-I should have said something sooner. I was so angry when I started working for the Lions, and then it just felt like I couldn’t tell you.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.” My hands begin to hurt from gripping the rail too tight. I deserve the pain though. I deserve more than this.

“You shouldn’t have found out this way. I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“I shouldn’t have found out this way because I should haveremembered. I don’t know how you can stand to be around me, much less share my name.”

My eyes burn with sadness. All the work I’d done to climb out of my mess means nothing if Willow sees me as who I was back then. And how could she not? No amount of candy or gestures could change her mind. If it hadn't been for her needing to stay in the country, she’d still be arguing with me and pushing me away, and I don’t blame her one bit.

A soft hand rests in between my shoulder blades. I step away from her touch. She’s comforting me because she has a kind heart, but I’m not worthy of her kindness.

“I’d like to go home. I can arrange a car for you if you want to stay,” I say, trying to keep my tone even.

“I’ll come with you,” she says quietly.

I nod once, then walk to my car. The drive home is silent, but inside I’m screaming.

Why can’t I escape my past?

Chapter twenty-eight

Willow Kingsley

Jason wasn’t himself. When we got home last night, he went straight to bed, saying he was tired. I didn’t have the courage to ask him to stay up and talk. The despair in his eyes was so intense it hurt to meet them. I thought he’d be upset with me, but it seemed like he was more angry with himself.

I twist my wedding rings round and round my finger, watching the horses roam from my spot on the back porch swing. I’d hoped coming out here would clear my mind while I waited for Jason to come out of his room, but it’s only given my mind more silence to fill.

I hate that he’s upset. It’s spurred a sick feeling within me that I haven’t been able to shake since we spoke at Aiden’s party. The feeling has made me realize just how much I’ve come to care for Jason. I want to talk things through, to ease his burdens somehow.

Just go to his room.I bite my lip as I consider the thought. Does he want space or does he not know how to deal with this? I don’t know what to do without the answer. I could makeeverything worse if I get this wrong. Who would have thought a fake marriage could be so hard? I’d seen my parents and grandparents work through things, but they were intill death do us partmarriages. I’m not sure what Jason and I are.

I check my phone, sighing when I see that it’s almost time for the documentary crew to get here. I wasted all this time worrying when I should have knocked on his door hours ago. Now we’ll have to go through this filming without having talked things through.Ugh.

I stand up and turn toward the back doors. Maybe I can at least assure him that he can talk whenever he’s ready before they get here.

I’m opening the back door when I hear the sound of hoofbeats. I glance over my shoulder to find Jason riding up on what I’ve come to know is his favorite horse, Shadow. The stallion’s midnight-colored coat shines in the late morning light. But it’s Jason who draws my eye. He’s wearing a black henley and a black cowboy hat. He looks like a dark and brooding character from an old Western movie. The kind that makes girls swoon every time he nears. The only thing keeping me from doing so myself is the stormy expression he wears as he dismounts.

“I was about to check on you. I didn’t realize you had gone on the trails,” I say as he begins leading the horse to the stables.

It may not be the best decision, but I follow him.

“I should have told you where I was going, I’m sorry. I left before you were awake.”

“It’s okay. I just…” I trail off as we walk into the barn. “I want to make sure you’re okay. We haven’t had a chance to talk.”

Jason removes Shadow’s saddle, then feeds the horse some kind of treat from his pocket. The sight makes me smile. Even while upset, he’s caring for his horse.

“I’m okay,” he says as he leads Shadow toward the pasture area.

“You know you can tell me if you’re not.” Him holding back makes me bold. “I’m your wife,” I add.

He pauses at the opening. Shadow has happily trotted into the pasture, but Jason keeps his back to me.

“What kind of husband am I that I couldn’t remember us meeting?” He shakes his head. “We need to go inside. The documentary crew is probably out front by now.”

“Jason, I want to talk about this,” I say as he passes me.

“I can’t right now, Willow,” he bites out. “I know it’s selfish of me, but I can’t face the pain I’ve caused you.I can’t.”

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