Page 43 of Chilled and Thrilled

Honor is silent for a moment, and I can imagine her sitting in a nondescript room across the country, brow furrowed and lips pursed—her thinking face. “He’s not like I expected him to be,” she finally says, quietly. “He’s… well, he’s a really good person. I think he got caught up in making a lot of money, and he did, but now he wants to do something good with it. Like, he wants to give it all away. He’s starting a nonprofit.”

“Wow. Riches to rags, huh?”

“Something like that.” She lets out another laugh, this one tinged with disbelief. “He asked me to run it, Soph. His nonprofit. He wants me to move out here and help him build it from the ground up.” I suck in a sharp breath, and Honor continues in a rush. “I know! I know. I told him I would need to think about it. He’s… persuasive, though.”

Going off my own recent experience with attractive, successful older men, yeah, I bet he is. “How is he persuading you exactly?”

Honor snorts. “Nothing’s happened. Well, almost nothing has happened,” she amends, sounding sheepish. “Don’t judge. I know it’s a horrible idea.”

This is it, the best opening I could ever ask for, and yet, it’s a battle to open my mouth and say the words I know I need to say.

“So, I kind of need to tell you something. And I really, really hope you don’t hate me for it.” My voice cracks, and my tear ducts don’t seem to have received the memo that I’m sick of their shit. I wipe my eyes with the corner of Bram’s T-shirt.

“You’re freaking me out,” Honor replies with a nervous laugh. “Just say it, Sophie.”

Shifting uneasily, I close my eyes, trying to find the speech I had memorized for this. It was a good one, thoughtful and honest, and now, unfortunately, gone. So, because I’m in this way too far and there’s no backing out now, I start talking with absolutely no plan.

“I have feelings for Bram. As in, your dad, in case that wasn’t clear, or, you know, multiple Brams. I swear, I tried to make it go away and ignore it, and it just got worse and worse the longer I worked at E&V. Like, I seriously love him, Honor. And I know this makes me the worst best friend in the history of best friends, and you’re probably going to hate my guts until the end of time.” My rambling is interrupted by a little sob, but I force myself to keep going. “I’m so sorry. I love you, and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have fought it so hard. But it just happened, and he’s kind of the best, you know? And…” Tears are spilling down my cheeks now, and I gulp greedily for my next breath, trying my very best to keep the hysterical crying at bay. “I’m really, really sorry.”

That was the worst sorry I’m in love with your dad speech of all time, and the longer Honor goes without responding, the more convinced I am that she’s about to hang up, block my number, and start making voodoo dolls with my face on them.

“How long has this been going on?” Honor asks at last, her voice even.

I swallow, and movement from the doorway catches my eye. Bram is standing there, frowning. “It’s new. I mean, I’ve liked him for a long time, but nothing happened until really recently,” I choke, offering him a tight smile. “It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.”

So, I tell her everything. Or, at least, most of it.Admittedly, there is a lot of editing and glossing over, which is technically a lie, but I’m pretty confident Honor wouldn’t thank me for knowing the specifics. She stays silent all through my rambling explanation of how he saved me from the car, took me to the hospital, and then we hunkered down here to wait out the storm.

As I talk, my eyes are trained on Bram, who is leaning against the doorframe, and my heart grows fuller with every word. Hearing the whole story, and remembering what it took for us to get here… I knew I loved him, but I, like, really love him.

It’s going to be okay, isn’t it? I really need it to be okay, because what if Honor hates me? What if she never speaks to me again, tells Bram he has to choose, and he never speaks to me again, either? The possibility that I may lose them both never occurred to me until now, and it feels as though I’m being crushed by the weight of it.

When I finally stop the rambling, watered-down version of how I came to fall in love with her father, Honor doesn’t respond right away.

“If you need some time, I get it.” I manage not to cry when so long has passed, I’ve lifted my phone to check that she hasn’t hung up. Twice.

Finally, Honor sighs. “I’d be lying if I said it was a massive shock. Leni mentioned something a while back, and I guess I wanted her to be wrong, but it was kind of right there. You guys have this bond, and don’t take this the wrong way, because you know I love you, but I’m pretty sure he’s the only man on the planet who is so charmed by your Sophieness.”

A watery laugh bursts from my lips, and Bram, who seems to have been holding himself back, steps forward and crosses to my side. I gaze up at him as he kneels beside the bed, bringing the back of my hand to his lips.

“You’re not mad at me?” I half cry, half yell, because this isyet another scenario that never occurred to me in the million and a half times I thought about how this conversation would go.

Honor huffs, and I’m one hundred percent positive she’s rolling her eyes right now. “I mean, I’m not mad mad. Mostly, I’m grossed out, but as far as I’m concerned, you’re going to live a completely celibate life because the alternative is too yuck to consider.”

“You can call me Sister Sophie if you want,” I giggle, beaming down at Bram, who reaches up to wipe away the last few tears. “Fateful devotee at Our Lady of Zero Intercourse.”

Bram lifts an eyebrow, smirking.

“Sounds boring, but who am I to judge.” She pauses. “You won’t tell him, will you? About Julian? I don’t want to rock the boat when nothing’s going to happen.”

I can’t help but suspect that Honor’s understanding of the situation with me and Bram may have been motivated, at least in part, by her hope that something might happen.

“Of course I won’t tell him. Friendship Sophie doesn’t divulge information to Dad’s girlfriend Sophie. Two separate people, as far as you’re concerned.”

“Can I manipulate you into doing my laundry for a while, too? I just realized I could exploit this situation to my advantage so much more.”

I kind of want to cry all over again, because this girl gets me. She sees exactly who I am and matches my weirdness with her own. I am so freaking lucky to have her, and now the guilt I’ve been carrying around for the past year is gone. Never in my life have I been so relieved.

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