Page 42 of Charmed and Alarmed

“It really hurts,” I blubber, trying to quell the rising tide of panic. “I think my tendon repair ruptured. I don’t want more surgery.”

Pressing his lips to my temple, Holden shakes his head. “I’ll be with you every step of the way, Len. I’m not leaving your side.”

17

HOLDEN

It’s close to midnight by the time they take Leni into surgery.

I stayed by her side as they took blood and did ultrasounds, waited outside the room during her scans, and held her hand the entire way back.

The diagnosis came quickly and was exactly as Len feared. Her tendon, already twice repaired, had partially ruptured for a third time. There was no way around it, no other medical options other than to go back in and hope for the best. I’ve never felt more helpless than when the doctor left and Leni finally lost whatever control she had on her emotions and broke down, sobbing into my shoulder. I held her, stroking her back and murmuring promises and words of comfort that didn’t really help. This was a nightmare there was no waking up from, and there isn’t a thing I can do but be there for her.

“I’ll be here when you wake up,” I promise, kissing the back of her hand as the nurses move around her bed, preparing her for surgery.

Leni nods, her bottom lip trembling. “Okay.”

Fuck, the look on her face… I would give every single thing I have if it meant she didn’t have to go through this.

One of the nurses pats her shoulder kindly. “We’ll take good care of you, sweetie. Tell your man not to wear a hole in the floor with his pacing.”

A watery laugh bubbles from her lips as she gazes at me. “You don’t need to wear a hole in the floor with your pacing, Holden.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” I promise, standing as the nurses begin to move the bed. She sniffs as I lean over the bed to steal one last, brief kiss, playfully snapping the top of the blue surgical bonnet they covered her hair with as I step back to allow them to push the bed out of the room.

The moment she’s gone, it’s as if all the energy drains out of me.

I hadn’t been here for this last time, or the time before. Already, she’s had two surgeries, and there’s no use telling myself we weren’t together yet, and it wouldn’t have been my place to be there….I should have been there.

“I think this is it.” A gentle female voice carries over the hospital noises, and I look up in time to see Bram, Sophie, Honor, and Julian entering the room, still dressed for the party.

My head spins as I get to my feet, smiling grimly at Leni’s family. “They took her into surgery about ten minutes ago. The doctor said it could be a few hours.”

Honor looks devastated. “Oh my god, poor Len. How could this have happened again? Was she doing okay, Holden?”

“They got her started on pain killers when we arrived,” I choke, rubbing the back of my neck. In truth, I can barely focus on what she’s saying to me. My words feel sluggish and surreal because I’m not sure I’ve accepted what just happened. Now, recounting it feels like I’m telling a story rather than stating facts.

“Thank you for staying with her. We appreciate it,” says Bram calmly, and there’s something challenging in his stare. “You can go home now. I’ll let you know in the morning if there is any news.”

I don’t move. A cold, sick acceptance is settling over me. What is about to happen might as well be written out on the linoleum floor, and there’s still no way to avoid it.

Hollow with dread, I shake my head. “I’m going to stay.”

Stay until she’s out of surgery, stay until she’s ready to go home, stay with her until she’s healthy and walking around again. It doesn’t matter how long it takes.I’m staying.

Bram takes a step forward, lips pulled into a flat line and suspicion burning in his eyes. Behind him, Honor and Sophie exchange a look. “You’re a family friend, not family. It isn’t your place to be here.”

This isn’t how I wanted him to find out. In recent weeks especially, as our relationship moved into something more serious, it’s been on my mind a lot, how Leni and I would break the news to Bram when the time came. That time felt a long way off, though. There are still things we need to resolve, things I need to tell her, and now… Now there’s no way I’m walking out of this room without everyone knowing the truth: that I’ve fallen in love with Lenora Vogel, and there’s not a person on this Earth, her father included, that will stop me from being in this room when she wakes up.

“It is my place, Bram,” I tell him calmly, even as my chest grows tight and I’m hit by another wave of nausea.

Silence falls in the room as my friend stares at me, his chest heaving as the meaning of my words dawns on him. When he speaks, his voice is ice cold. “You fucking piece of shit.”

“Bram,” Sophie objects behind him, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

He brushes her off, almost shaking with rage. “I want you to admit it. Admit you’ve been—” His throat bobs. “Admit you put your filthy goddamn hands onmy kid.”

I blow out a long breath, my hands curling into fists in my pockets. “Leni isn’t a kid, Bram. And I hoped you would understand falling for someone you shouldn’t.”

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