Page 24 of Standing In The Sun

Tiny swallowed hard and forced herself forward.

Little Lunar sat on the floor holding onto a baby boy, staring at the TV, his face illuminated by the glow of the screen. If she wasn’t so caught up in hearing Big Lunar’s voice, she would’ve asked about the baby in her son’s arms but her mind was on one track.

Her eyes swayed to the TV, and therehewas.

Big Lunar - young, reckless, and alive. Laughing through the speakers like he had forever to do it. Tiny didn’t only see it, she felt it. The moment rushed back, pulling her under and dragging her straight into the past.

Time folded in on itself and Tiny was no longer standing in the living room. She was there, in that moment-- years ago. Watching it all happen like she’d never left.

Likehe’dnever left.

Lunar’s leg bounced as he slouched in the chair, his low eyes darting around the extra white and extra cold waiting room. It was quiet, with only soft whispers from the people around them.

“You scared?” Tiny’s hand rested on his knee, searching his face for the truth.

“Nah,” Lunar shook his head.

Her eyes bucked and a slow smirk rested on her honeyed face. “Yes, you are! Not Mr. Ain’t scared of shit, scared of bringing a baby into this world… wow,” she smiled hard, but she was just as scared.

“You think it’s gonna be a boy or a girl?”

“A boy for sho,” Lunar smiled staring off into the future as if he could really see it.

Tiny kissed her teeth. “How you know it ain’t twins?”

“Nah, it’s a boy. I ain’t having no twins…only Luna. But this a boy and you gon’ give him my name.”

“Why he can’t have his own identity?” Tiny asked, always wanting to pick Lunar’s brain more. He was magically beautiful like that. Like he’d been here before or had abilities to see the future. It was weird but the one thing that kept people eating out of his hands.

Lunar put his hand on Tiny’s still flat stomach. “He is gon’ be his own person but he’s the only way to make my name mean something… our boy gon’ be special.”

“Like Javen? You think he gon’ play football?”

Lunar shrugged his shoulders so quickly she would’ve missed it if she wasn’t hanging onto his every word. “It don’t matter, T. He can play football, basketball, sing, rap, or become the president… I don’t care for real. AlI I want is for my boy to be happy and healthy. Not this fake happy shit we doing…nah,” Lunar stopped talking to look into Tiny’s eyes. “Little Lunar gonna be the best version of me.”

“Why you talking like you ain’t gon’ be here to see him grow up?” Tiny hated when Lunar talked like that because she always felt there might’ve been some truth to it and that was a pill she didn’t want to swallow.

Lunar ignored her, pulling out his phone. He lay his head on her belly. A big smile curled his lips making those craters in his cheek dimple deep. “Son, you gon’ be special… fuckin’ amazing.”

A sob so deep cut through Tiny’s intimate moment with the man who was once the love of her life. She looked at Little Lunar’s tears and broke down crying softly.

Kamari started to cry too. There was so much going on that neither adult comforted him because their own pain felt more important. Lunar could only rock his body to try to soothe Kamari.

“Ma!” Lunar wailed like a lost little boy. He clung onto Kamari like his life depended on it because listening to his father rap, took every ounce of strength he had.

“Ayo, Lil’ Lunar, you a wish come true,

Just a lil’ glow, but you shining through

You the best of my heart, best of my soul,

A piece of my rhythm, ’bout to make me whole.”

Lunar jokingly beat boxed to Tiny’s stomach making her fall into a fit of laughter. The moment was so sweet, others smiled on at the young couple who seemed so in love.

“Yea, don’t even think about trying to be a rapper, Lunar…you fuckin’ suck,” Tiny shook her head still laughing at how silly he used to be when it was just them.

Lunar leaned in once more to whisper to his baby whom he believed was a boy. “Your mama a hater…don’t be a hater like her, son.”

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