Page 31 of Standing In The Sun

“How I know you haven’t killed my baby?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “That’s crazy.”

“Yea, well…so is trusting a stranger with my son.” Her voice was sharp, but underneath it, he heard the real reason…fear.

She was afraid…afraid of losing Kamari…afraid of losing herself…afraid of what came next.

Lunar softened, “Where’s his daddy?”

Silence stretched as Dro’s absence in Kamari’s life loomed between them.

“I don’t know,” she whispered.

Lunar exhaled through his nose, rubbing his free hand over his face. He had figured as much, but hearing her admit it made it real…made Kamari’s reality even heavier.

The silence between them continued.

Without really thinking, he blurted out, “I feel crazy, you know?” There was so much he needed to get off his chest, and for whatever reason, talking to Ahvi felt safe.

Ahvi didn’t say a word, she just listened.

Lunar swallowed, staring at the ceiling like the words were written up there. “I miss him…my dad and I never even knew him. Ain’t that crazy?” His voice trailed off. “Like, how do you miss somebody you never met?”

Ahvi let out a slow breath, “Because he’s a part of you.”

Squeezing his eyes shut in frustration, Lunar let her words sink in.

“He’s a part of you…he’s in the way you think, the way you move, the way you love,” she continued. “Just ‘cause you never met him doesn’t mean he ain’t been with you this whole time.”

Lunar swallowed hard, pressing his fingers into Kamari’s back gently, grounding himself in the baby’s warmth.

Ahvi’s voice softened. “You were his dream, Lunar. Like Kamari is mine.”

His chest tightened.

Ahvi shifted again, and the sound of the phone brushing against her shoulder filled the space between them. He imagined her there, sitting on one of those stiff metal benches, her back against the cinder block walls with the scent of industrial cleaner and cheap soap thick in the air. She probably had the phone cord twisted in her fingers, nails bitten down from stress.

“You ever feel like… somebody sent you?” he murmured feeling crazy for allowing his inner thoughts to seep out.

Ahvi hummed. “What you mean?”

He looked down at Kamari, at the way the baby’s little face relaxed in sleep, his tiny lips parted. “Like… I was supposed to be there…to help you…for Kamari.”

A beat of silence filled the already anxious phone call.

“Yea,” she replied softly.

It was just one word, but it felt like more…like understanding…like maybe he wasn’t the only one trying to find meaning in all this.

Lunar didn’t realize how much he needed this conversation until right now…until her.

Ahvi sighed, “Lunar.”

“Yea?”

“I know you a superstar and shit but you think you can bring him to see me? I already put you on my visitation.”

Without hesitation, Lunar agreed. Her request was so simple that it was a no brainer for him. When it came to Kamari’s wellbeing, he would do whatever—even if that meant putting the world in their business. ‘Cause because he knew it would only be a matter of time before the press got ahold of Ahvi’s visitation, once he showed his very public face made an appearance in that visitation room. But somehow he felt a strong bond to Kamari like he owed it to him to be there as the kid was fatherless.

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