Page 94 of Standing In The Sun

Ahvi’s body shook, rage and panic crawling up her spine. “You were supposed to be virgins. Y’all were supposed to be focused…I asked you, Porsha and you lied to me.”

“I was focused,” Butta snapped back, voice shaking. “I still am. I still got my scholarship. I still got my dreams. I just made a mistake, But now…” she looked down at her stomach, and burst into tears.

“Fuck,” Ahvi placed her hands on her head trying to figure how her world just went from sugar to shit. Maybe it was an omen—Ish warning her from the grave.

“I don’t want this baby, Ahvi,” Butta whispered. “I want an abortion, but he won’t stop begging.”

Monday stepped forward. “Because it’s not just about her. It’sours,and I told her, I’ll be there. I’ll take care of everything.”

“You going to college,” Ahvi barked. “You got dreams too, remember? You think you can take care of a baby off potential and promises?”

“I’d drop everything for her,” Monday promised, his baby face twisted up because he had fallen in love with Butta like Lunar had fallen in love with Ahvi.

“Well, she don’t want that!” Ahvi snapped.

“But I love her!” he yelled.

And suddenly everyone was screaming at each other at once.

Pimp and Devonte had stepped out of the pool, frozen. Lunar was still at the edge of the deck, jaws tight, and his fists clenched. He was watching, assessing, calculating—but not moving.

“You knew?” Ahvi turned to him, as it was all starting to register with her. “You fuckin’ knew he was here?”

Lunar’s eyes met hers. “Yea. I knew.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“They grown. They said they had it handled.”

“She’s seventeen.She’s still a child...they’re babies, Lunar!”

“They’re both young adults, Ahvi, and they’re figuring it out.” Lunar looked at her, hoping she saw things from his point of view. Did he know his little brother had become sexually active - no…but he remembered being young and in love.

“That’s easy for you to say,” she spit out. “Everything’s always chill in your world. You just let people ‘figure it out.’ Must be nice.”

Lunar stepped forward. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you don’t get it!” she shouted. “You didn’t have to raise a baby while still being one. You didn’t have to clean up everybody’s mess ‘cause there was no backup. Idid! And I won’t let my sister drown just because you think life is supposed to be live and learn- and YOLO- or let’s just throw some money at it.”

“She’s not drowning,” Lunar said, voice calm but tight. “She’s scared and I get that. But if Monday’s trying to step up, let him.”

“You think stepping up is enough?” Ahvi snapped. “You think Tiny’s gonna go for that? You think love is enough? Love don’t pay for daycare or protect you from judgment or fix your body after labor. It don’t fixshit!”

They were nose to nose now, breathing so deep using each other’s exhales to replenish their own raging breaths.

“You was waiting for something like this,” Lunar said, voice trembling. “You been holding your breath just waiting for a reason to run and now you got it.”

“Nigga fuck you,” she whispered, “I never wanted to run…I always had to.”

“No,” he said, pain flickering in his eyes. “You chose to. This time you just using Butta as the excuse.”

She opened her mouth to speak but couldn’t.

And then he said it, soft but cutting. “I was building a life with you, Ahvi. I was gonna give you the world. I bought you a fuckin’ restaurant because I believed in everything you said you were afraid to dream about. But it’s not about me, it’s never been about me. You been fighting ghosts this whole time.”

Tears welled up in her eyes but didn’t fall.

“If you do this, I’ll never speak to you again,” Monday’s pained voice cut through the other thick argument in the room.

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