Page 16 of Challenging Her Protector

“Thank you!” He wasn’t sure if she lost her balance or simply launched herself at him, but her body was suddenly flush against his. Her hands were wound around his neck, supple breasts pressed into his chest. His hands found her hips, steadying her. “Sorry about that.” The breathless note in her voice had him hard as a pike.

When she leaned back and those depthless blue eyes trained on him, the pulse at the base of his erection pounded and blood rushed in his ears. Her cheeks were flushed and the longer she continued to stare at him, the larger her pupils became until black nearly eclipsed the blue. He moved his hands from her hips to her arms and gently pushed her back, standing up from the couch so fast he nearly lost his own balance. She’d just told him her fiancé had violated her and expressed how much she trusted him. He wanted her to continue feeling safe around him and that meant he needed a moment to walk off this sudden, intense attraction.

“I want to check out your feet. Let me grab the first aid kit.” He walked directly out of the room, releasing a long breath when he was out in the hall. He scanned his key card and opened the door.

Silver was leaned back against the head rest, his cell phone pressed against his ear. “Hey, I’ve got to get going. Be safe and we’ll talk soon, yeah?” The other man tossed his phone down on the bed and sat up. “You okay?” he asked. “I thought you were checking on, Viv, but you’re breathing like you’re halfway through Hell Week.”

“Getting the first aid kit. Gonna check her feet.”

“Want me to do it?”

His question was innocent enough but the thought of Silver’s hands on Vee burned in his lungs. He fought to keep his voice steady, even as his breath became coarser. “I’ve got it. Call your girl back.” Before Silver could make any other comments, he left the room, pausing in the hall to get his shit together. He’d never been a jealous man, so why was he now over a woman who wasn’t even his? A woman who saw too much of what he was trying to hide. When she’d asked if he told himself lies to make himself feel better, he’d been disappointed, thinking she was judging him. Solitude was his companion for good reason. He bottled his feelings about Scooter’s death up tight and locked that shit down, but it was always part of him. The turmoil of his failures a bitter coating on his tongue.

When something triggered him, a sound, a memory, a nightmare, and he couldn’t take anymore, that bottle burst open, and it took him weeks to recover. She hadn’t been forming her own opinions of him though, she’d been sharing a part of herself. Recognizing the insecurities she felt were present in him as well. She was far braver than him. Admitting what she felt instead of closing herself off. Offering him comradery in his thoughts. She was wrong though. The lies he told himself weren’t to protect his heart and soul, they were to safeguard others against getting close. Of thinking he could offer them something when he was only a shell of his former self. He released a long breath and walked up to Vee’s door. It opened before he had a chance to knock.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to hug-attack you.” She stepped back allowing him room to pass.

“Hug-attack?” He’d never heard those two words used together in the same sentence.

“Sometimes I get so excited, I just kinda…” She made a jumping motion, arms outstretched, but didn’t move from where she was standing.Why does she have to be so damn adorable?“Anyway, I didn’t mean to cut you off from answering my own question. Do you want me in the bathroom?”

Fuck, she was killing him. “Yeah, Vee. Up on the countertop.” She boosted herself up, so her legs were dangling off the side. It was then he recognized his error in judgment. Their reflection made his mouth go dry. He was standing over her. All that thick pale hair cascading down her back beckoned him to fist his hands in deep. If this was his reaction to her after a couple days, he needed to work on removing himself from her life as quickly as possible. He sat on the closed toilet and lifted her ankle, so her heel was resting on his thigh. Her bare legs were smooth as glass, and he had to force his gaze to her wrapped feet. He removed the sock first, then the gauze he’d wrapped them up in this morning after her shower. The score marks from branches and sharp rocks looked unnatural on her soft skin.

“You didn’t answer my question earlier because I rudely interrupted. What things can’t be fixed, Iron?” she asked while he applied more medication to the bottoms of her feet. “Why deem yourself beyond repair while being so open to differences in others?”

“Because differences aren’t what I struggle with.” He placed new gauze around her foot, then slipped on a clean sock. His fingers lingered against her smooth ankle as he waited for her next question. Vee was curious about everything. Not in a nosy way, but as someone who was engaged and interacting with the world around them.

“Then what?” Her fingers rested on his bicep. The way they’d held hands from the start, offered each other comforting touches wasn’t lost on him. There was a connection there. One he would have to sever. He gathered his thoughts as he wrapped her other foot and slipped on the sock. She wasn’t going to stop pressing until he told her. Wasn’t going to stop looking at him like a hero if she didn’t know what he’d done. If anyone deserved the truth of who and what he was, it was her.

“Demons. The kind that never leave. I’m responsible for the death of my teammate. A man I promised to protect. I can’t live with it, so I don’t. I go through the motions. I also can’t live without it, because that would be too much like forgiveness when I deserve none.” He stood up prepared for her rejection. Maybe he was hoping for it. He looked away, focusing on the door, anything but her sweet, vulnerable face.

Then her palm was against his turned cheek, angling his gaze back toward her. She added her other hand to frame his face. Her steady gaze soothed something acidic inside him. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. That you carry that guilt. But you should know it doesn’t make me want to get to know you less. The man I want to know is the one who feels that emotional weight. Who loved his friend so much, he doesn’t want to live a full life because the man he lost doesn’t get to.” Her fingers slowly traced his cheekbones, moved down his jaw. “I want to know the man who believes he deserves isolation yet is brave enough to care for a woman he barely knows.”

“I know you.” His voice was so hoarse, the words barely made it past his lips. Her eyes were currently trained on his chest, but her thick brown lashes lifted, revealing eyes glazed with tears. She’d made his pain her own. Feeling that turmoil right along with him. “I might not know the small things, but I know you’re far more courageous than you think. I know you have a high level of emotional intelligence by the way you speak. The way you treat others. I know I feel a connection with you, and I’m going to do everything in my power to help you get on your feet.” What she didn’t need to know was that she was a threat to him. She’d already gotten under his skin. He’d failed Scooter, but what if he ended up failing her too? That would leave his soul so fucking bleak he’d never recover.

He slipped one arm around her waist and the other behind her knees, lifting her off the counter. She felt so right tucked into his chest. He brought her to the bed and set her down on the plush mattress. “Night, Vee. I’m going to open the connecting door, so when I go to the other room, I can come in here and lock the dead bolt and door stopper.”

“I don’t mind doing that.”

“I just cleaned your cuts. They’re going to be sore as hell. I can lock the connecting door when I’m done.”

“Actually, I’d prefer to have it open.”

“Okay.” He started to turn when Vee reached up and grabbed his hand. “Will you tell me about him someday?”

He closed his eyes and nodded, unable to speak with the thorns of regret pinching off his airway. Releasing her hand, he stepped away. He could feel her eyes on his back as he left the room.

*

Branch called themat noon the next day. They’d been on the road since the break of dawn. The closer they got to their small Virginia Beach suburb, the more the ride seemed to drag. Or maybe that was because Silver had offered Vee shotgun, complaining he was tired of his own company.

“Hey,” Silver’s voice boomed through the interior of the SUV. “You’re on speaker. How is Hannah?”

“She did great in surgery. They expect to hold her for two to three days, and then we’re out of here.”

“Any more trouble?”

“The Days haven’t come to the hospital again. Hannah filed a restraining order. We did hear from Iron’s friend from the special ops task force in California.”

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