Page 20 of Challenging Her Protector

An hour afterIron and Vivienne had returned from filing restraining orders against Scott and her parents at the local precinct, then grabbing dinner ingredients at the grocery store, he could still feel her tears on his back. The result of her overwhelming emotions brought on by his pain had soaked into his cotton shirt and scored his skin. Her silent tears were the single most comforting reaction he’d ever received when sharing his story about Scooter. There had been no unwanted comments about how God only gave us what we could handle or how his teammate was responsible for his own actions. How tragedy happened, even to the best people. She’d simply offered sadness for the loss of a good man.

Her silence acknowledged his grief. His guilt. He’d never felt closer to another human being than in that moment he turned his back on her, prepared to put space between them. Her arms had come around him tightly and held on. They must’ve stood there for a good ten minutes as he soaked in her quiet comfort.

Usually entering the guest room with the people he loved posted on the wall, the ones he wanted to protect from what he became the most left him feeling down for days. Combine that with his thoughts about Scooter and it was enough to send him into a full-blown episode of depression. So later when Vee was practically dancing down the aisles of the grocery store, bright eyes twinkling with excitement over every damn thing, the lightness he felt shocked the shit out of him. Maybe it was the passage of time. Maybe it was the woman standing beside him as he showed her how to chop a tomato for a salad. Either way he had never recovered so quickly emotionally to thoughts of all he had lost.

“Careful, Vee,” he said, reaching around her to straighten the cutting board, bracketing her in. This close, he could feel her warmth radiating toward him. He desperately wanted to rub his cheek against all that soft blonde hair loose around her shoulders. “Hannah will kill me if you lose a finger on my watch.” His voice had dropped an octave—a constant problem around her but being physically attracted to her didn’t mean he had to act on it.

“That would be difficult, seeing you’re only trusting me with a butter knife. This might be the first time I’ve cut a vegetable, but I certainly know this is not the tool you typically do it with.” His arms were still steadying the cutting board, so when she leaned back and angled her face to smile at him, her back was up against his chest. A liquid pull rushed to his groin. It had been so long since he experienced this type of searing attraction to a woman, and still, he didn’t think his desires had ever been so sharp and acute.

“Alright. You’ve got me, but I would feel better if we worked our way up to the sharps.”

Her laughter filled the kitchen and slammed into his chest. Had him instantly hardening beneath the thick fabric of his jeans. Such a carefree sound had never resonated through the walls of his cottage. Not while he had been living there. It had been a while since he noticed the glow of the early evening sun filtering through the windows. Or the way it made the space golden and warm.

He took a step back and turned so she didn’t see or feel how appealing he found her. His throat grew thick, and he grimaced at his wayward thoughts. Vee was ten years younger than him. Under his care and protection. Imagining her positioned on the counter while he devoured her was the furthest thing from okay.

“Let’s eat outside.” The suggestion surprised him. He liked to watch the wild ocean before a storm. The choppy, foam-topped waves brought on by a cold autumn day. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d enjoyed the sunset on a clear evening.

“I’d like that, but probably not as much as I like cutting tomatoes.” Her triumphant smile over learning to do something new lifted a layer of weight off his chest. A layer he wasn’t sure he wanted removed.

“Might be a little late in the season, but I bet if we got you a plant, you could still grow a few of your own before it gets too cold.” He took a lemon from the bowl on the counter and opened the silverware drawer to keep his hands busy.

“I never thought about trying to plant something myself but now that you’ve brought it up, I can’t wait to learn more.” She bounced up on her tippy toes.

“You’re welcome to use my laptop after dinner to do some research if you’d like.” He cut the lemon into thin slices to garnish the salmon he planned to grill.

“Really?”

He was torn between basking in that wide-eyed expression of pure joy and hating it. Her family’s money should have allowed her opportunities and experiences to discover the things she enjoyed but instead of financial success making her world large and limitless, it had narrowed it significantly. Her parents had used her funds to imprison her, not to let her grow into her own person and thrive.

A chuckle left his lips. Another surprise. “Yeah, really. I’ll go out and fire up the grill so we can get started with dinner.” It didn’t take him long to cook salmon fillets and clean the grime of the long-unused outdoor table. When he came inside, he simply grinned at the eclectic mix of vegetables Vee had chopped up and put in a large bowl. Chunks of carrots, tomatoes, broccoli and raw mushroom caps tossed with Italian dressing.

“I got a little carried away.” She grinned holding the bowl in both hands. “So much I couldn’t fit any actual lettuce, but I tried it and it’s so good. Salad dressing is my new favorite thing.” She was practically vibrating with happiness over what she’d made by herself. Her feelings were so contagious, it was like a layer of light was cast over the cottage. He was enjoying witnessing all her new favorite discoveries from cotton T-shirts to fast food and now dressing. He knew asking why she’d never had something so simple would only upset him, so he left it alone and carried her creation out to the deck. The sun was sinking closer to the horizon, washing the sky in colors of the peach and raspberry tartes his mother would sometimes bring home from the bakery she worked at. He closed his eyes against the memory. It had been too damn long since he’d let himself see them.

When he opened his eyes, the slouched pergola tangled in vines came into view. He’d been trapped for a long time too. The vicious cycle of addiction had nearly killed him. The shame of being weak enough to find himself shackled by his vices had brought him to his knees. Keeping his family out of his life had cost them, but he had paid the price too. He hoped they knew, deep down at least, that he loved them despite only knowing about half of his struggles.

“I was thinking earlier how pretty that is.” She angled her head toward the structure he’d just been staring at.

“You’re joking right?”

“No.” She set her fork down on her plate. “It reminds me of strength. Broken but standing. Restrained by all those tangled vines, whatever those might be. Maybe they’re choices. Maybe regrets or mistakes. It hasn’t fallen yet, though. I wouldn’t be surprised if it stood a decade more.”

She had no idea how close her description of the pergola summarized what he’d been thinking. It was almost unnerving how close. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t yanked down the old structure yet. Maybe it deserved to stand another day, even if toppling over would just be easier.

“Your parents were so fucking wrong, Vee. You can be anything you damn well please. You’re resilient and resourceful. Not just anyone would’ve pulled off squirreling away money into a secret account. Knowing just how much or how little they could get away with. Not just anyone could’ve spit out poetry about a dilapidated gazebo. Not anyone would lend comfort to a stranger.”

“You don’t feel like a stranger to me.” She stared at him over their near empty plates as the sun dropped from view. Her eyes were as luminous at the color-drenched sky.

“Neither do you.” He shouldn’t have said that, but something about being in this sweet woman’s presence loosened his tongue.

“It’s only been a few days, but I feel safe with you. Not just physically. I feel safe to be myself, or at least begin to discover who that is. To do what feels right and not what everyone else wants me to do.”

Fear crept into his chest. “Vee,” he said stopping her before she could say another word. “I don’t want you making me out to be something I’m not.”

Her eyes narrowed. “And I don’t want you downplaying everything you are.”

If he wasn’t careful, he could lose his heart to this woman. He loved the subtle tilt of her chin as she threw his words back at him and stood her ground. She was wrong about him, but that didn’t matter when she was holding her own.

“There are things you don’t know. Things that would make you change your mind.” He leaned back in his chair, more to put some distance between himself and her searching gaze.

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