Page 21 of Challenging Her Protector

“Will you trust me with it?”

He hesitated. That wasn’t the reaction he’d been expecting but Vee continued to catch him off guard. Maybe that’s why he found his mouth opening, intent on revealing secrets he never wanted shared. “I’m not strong. When I lost my friend, my career, my leg I couldn’t cope. I wasn’t some unbreakable SEAL, just a man broken by his own choices. I became an addict, abusing opioids and alcohol until I could forget everything and everyone. I cut myself off from a loving family to hide my substance abuse. Five years ago, I finally got clean. Have stayed that way. I don’t want a second chance, though. My family, my old teammates all deserve better than the man who cut them out of his life. Who took every kindness for granted. They were here nearly every waking hour when I was released from the hospital. I severed those ties as brutally as I could, so they’d give me some fucking peace.” He looked out at the dark ocean, not wanting to see disgust or pity on her face.

“Was it peace you wanted or isolation to punish yourself in a way they never would have let happen?” Her voice was soft, melting with the water slapping in a soothing rhythm against the shore.

“They’d been so proud when I completed BUD/S and became a SEAL. Constantly were telling me how I was making a difference in the world. I didn’t want them to have a front row seat to my devastation. My destruction. I still don’t.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and lowering his chin to his chest.

“How long are you going to make them suffer?”

“I’m not trying to punish them. I want them to remember me as the man they were proud of, not the one I’ve become.”

“You’re not dead, yet you’ve made them live for years as though you were.”

She was right and he knew it. “Exactly.” He cleared his throat and straightened. “I don’t want you to lose sight of who I really am. Someone selfish enough to hurt his own parents and brother for solitude and space to self-destruct. Don’t let me do the same to you.”

He stood up, doing his best to ignore the twinge in his limb. The past few days he’d tested the strength left in his body. As a result, the stump of his leg was bruised and irritated. He needed to massage the area with ointment to help with circulation. “Take your time out here and thanks for making the best salad I’ve ever had. From now on, lettuce is optional.” He gave her a forced smile, then went inside to deposit their dishes into the washer. A quick look out the window told him that Vee was still sitting out there, maybe to call one of the many contacts he’d put in her phone for an escape. The thought soured his mood, but did he deserve any less?

He shook his head and limped to his bedroom. He needed to remove the prosthetic and take care of his damaged skin, otherwise, he’d end up in the hospital with an ulcer and that was the last place he wanted to be. Ten minutes later, he’d traded his jeans for athletic shorts and washed his limb with a cleanser designed to help the area retain moisture. He sat on the bed, a jar of ointment on the nightstand, when there was a soft knock on his door.

He fought against the shame. His leg was collateral damage. It wasn’t his physical appearance that bothered him, it was the choice that led him there. “Come in.” He’d already told her all his flaws, there was nothing else to hide. He busied himself opening the jar and looked up when he felt the mattress dip. She moved like a little ghost.

“I’m sorry. I was quick to judge your choices to separate yourself from your family. I think maybe I felt strongly because all I’ve ever wanted was to be loved for me, despite the choices I make. I don’t know how it feels to be held prisoner by drugs though. To feel so hopeless, I want to drown in them. That wasn’t fair of me.”

A self-depreciating laugh bubbled from his throat. “Sweet Vee. Do you evernotthink of how everyone else is feeling? You don’t owe me any kind of apology. I was an asshole earlier. You make me question every terrible choice I’ve ever made. I loved seeing you push back at me. So brave.” He shouldn’t look at her when she was this close, sitting on his bed no less, but he couldn’t stop himself from turning his head to meet her gaze if he tried. Tension thickened in the space between them. The flash of heat in her eyes hit him like a bolt of lightning, rendering him momentarily stunned.

When she reached over and took the ointment from his hands, he was powerless to stop her. Nor when she dipped her fingers into the jar and warmed it with her hands. She slid off the bed and onto her knees. Her actions weren’t sexual in the least, but they were sure as hell sensual. Maybeintimatewas a better word. Her touch was light, almost hesitant.

“Tell me if I hurt you,” she murmured. She massaged slow, soft circles into his scarred skin. It felt amazing, like acceptance he didn’t deserve. Her hands worked up to midthigh and back down, kneading with a gentle touch that left a pang of longing in his heart. She didn’t just have a beautiful face. She had a beautiful soul too. Once the ointment had dried, she stood, kissed his cheek, and walked out of his room, leaving him feeling like he was on the hazy edges of a dream. Too bad Vee was a dream he could never have. She deserved so much more than a man like him. Regardless, her actions had touched a hollow, shattered place inside him that he wasn’t even aware existed, bringing back feelings he preferred to keep buried. His brother’s stupid pranks. His father teaching him to drive, with white knuckles spread wide on the dash. The feel of his mother’s hugs. He tugged his cell phone off the nightstand and opened an old family chat. He wasn’t sure what to say, only that he wanted to say it.

“Hope all is well. Love you.”

Three dots immediately popped up on the screen. His mom was typing.

“We love you, too, Jordan. Is everything okay? Do you need us?”

His eyes burned. He rarely made time to see them because it caused him so much pain to see all the pictures on the wall of the boy and man he’d once been. Yet they responded to him in seconds, still worried for him after all these years.

“Love you, Son.”From his dad.

“Hey, bro. Ezra and I think of you often. All our love.”

The first tear dropped over his lower lid.

“Everything is fine. I was just thinking of you all.”

He plugged in the phone and rolled to his side. He’d gone to Texas to help Vee, not the other way around. In the last few days though, she’d softened something inside him, made him feel more alive than he had in years, and had him questioning which one of them truly needed rescuing.

Chapter Nine

Vee snuggled deeperagainst the pillow and smiled. Whoever said it was hard to sleep in unfamiliar places had never experienced the bed in Iron’s guest room. She blinked her eyes, catching the time on the digital clock out of the corner of her eye, and drew in a quick breath. It was nearly ten o’clock in the morning. She rubbed her eyes and threw her legs over the side of the bed. Iron’s low voice was muffled beyond the closed bedroom door, but he was speaking with someone, and that someone was most definitely female.

Her first thought was that Hannah had arrived home early or maybe somehow Thalia had found her. She jumped up and raced down the short hall, wincing at the way her feet still ached from running barefoot through the woods. Still, she moved quickly through the living room, anticipation tingling in her chest, then slid to a halt when she saw the three women at the door. None of them were familiar. The thick socks Iron had loaned her had no traction and she crashed right into Iron who stopped her forward progress by wrapping one arm around her waist.

“I told you she was going to wake up,” Iron muttered. He dropped his hand from where he’d stopped her from sliding across the floor but remained close.

“Sorry.” A woman with straight black hair and bold blue eyes offered her a sheepish smile. “I’m Brynn.” There were several large shopping bags at her feet.

“We were really excited to stop by and meet you.” A petite woman with a sleek blonde bob rubbed her rounded belly. “I’m Sam.”

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