Page 40 of Deadlier Obsessions

I’d spent years putting aside all the hurt he’d caused, and the damage he’d done to any confidence I had, but all of the time with our men and Stella had been healing me. Five minutes in his presence again though, and I’m spiralling back into that pattern of self-hate, and wondering why anyone wastes their time being around me. Why do Mav, Gage and Sebastian see any worth in me, when they already have Stella, and she’s prettier, smarter, and more fun than me? Why don’t they see me the way Scott did?

Feeling bad for his death is secondary to these other feelings, and I know that seems weird, but I suffered a whole lot longer than he did. I’m still shocked that the guys chose to avenge me, and it should help to reaffirm some of my new confidence, but it doesn’t. It just makes me wonder if it’s all about the baby now. Are they keeping me around because of the baby in my womb? Crazy, right? We’ve been together for almost two years at this point, and I’m only recently pregnant, but this is how my mind processes things, and works against me.

“Baby, don’t make me say this a third time,” Mav’s voice suddenly permeates my brain and I try to sit up on the bed, wondering what the hell I missed. I’d barely taken in the stunning hotel we’re in, because I’d been half asleep when we arrived, and I think I’ve been asleep since.

“Sorry, Mav, I’m listening.”

He grins widely at me. “So what did I say, baby?” Oh hell, I have no idea.

“Something about sex?”

He points at the steaming mug by the bed. “I said I made you a cup of tea, so wake your lazy ass up, so we can go sightseeing.”

He sits by me, reaching out to help me sit up so I can pick up the mug.

“Where are the others? Thanks for the cuppa, by the way.”

He jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “Probably still fucking on the balcony,” he says with a roll of his eyes, like it’s weird or out of character for them.

“Why aren’t you with them?” He should be, because at least they’re all living their best lives, while I’m moping and freaking myself out.

Mav runs his hand through his dark blonde hair and raises his eyebrows at me.

“You think all I care about is sex, Lucy?”

“Well, duh.” I mean he’d been all about sex when we met, and I’d been a virgin, but I’ve had a lifetime’s worth of it since we met.

“Sassy minx. I… uh,” he looks embarrassed all of a sudden, “watched over you, just in case you had bad dreams.” I think my panties just melted.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

MAV

Sometimes when our girls look at me like that, I feel like a fucking god. I mean, I’m not a good guy, in fact, I’m often kind of an asshole, and when it comes to what I want, I’m prone to taking it, rather than asking first. I’m not always comfortable with the feelings and the love stuff, even though I know I love our girls, and even the two guys we’re all in this weird family with.

Seeing us murdering her former friend, or whatever the hell she thinks of him as, well… it’s a first for Lucy. Stella watched us torture the bastards who hurt Sebastian as a teen, but Lucy stayed away. I’m proud of her for knowing her limitations, but this time she didn’t even have that option.

Bumping into that fucker like that was meant to be, because I’ve always intended to seek him out somehow, and make him pay for hurting Lucy, and that was even before I knew everything about what happened. Knowing that Lucy downplayed what he did, makes me wonder what else she downplays, or justifies, and why she does it. If someone hurts our family, they pay, generally by dying. Knowing he didn’t just reject her, but deliberately hurt her by making her watch him with someone else, makes me so fucking angry that I wish we didn’t kill him so quickly. It also makes me wonder if I can find the bitch he cheated with, because she clearly needs to pay too.

“Mav, what did I do to deserve you?” Lucy’s bottom lip trembles as she gazes at me like I’m a fucking hero, and I knowthe truth is that she never deserved anything we did to her. I also know she’s fragile right now and needs to be reminded of her value. Listen to me being so fucking well-adjusted and knowledgeable. I don’t have a fucking clue how to do this stuff, so I’m just winging it.

“You never deserved what we assholes did to you, baby, but you had to suffer it anyway. I’m so glad you stuck around for us to show you that we’re not all bad though. What you deserve is to be treated like the beautiful, sweet woman you are, but honestly? You’ll still get fucked like a whore, because that’s what you like, isn’t it? You know rough sex and free use is our love language, and-”

“Mav?” Thank fuck she stopped me, because I’m not good at saying the right stuff in these moments.

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

“Are you guys ever coming out of there? Stella’s practically fucking bouncing around out here, because she wants to seeeverythingand she wants to do it now, apparently,” Gage calls through the door, rather than barging in, which seems like personal growth for the guy with no boundaries at all.

Lucy takes a breath. “We should go with them now. Thanks for staying with me, Mav, but I’m sorry you missed out on balcony sex.” Me too, but I wouldn’t have left her alone to deal with what she watched us do. I guess Gage isn’t the only one growing, right?

“You can make it up to me later, baby. Hey, you can still do anal while pregnant, right?”

“Ugh. You can be such a pig at times!” She’s giggling as she gets up and heads to the bathroom to freshen up, so not only do I not think she’s mad at me, but also I’m definitely fucking that sweet little ass on the balcony later, because it’s important to have goals in life, and even more important to achieve them.

GAGE

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