Page 53 of Sin

Sin walks over to the chair and takes a seat. I’m surprised he isn’t demanding he help me shower, but I’m kind of relieved.

She helps me out of the bed and my legs feel likejellobut slowly I’m able to make it to the bathroom. She helps me out of my gown and turns the shower on and I glance in the mirror. It’s not full length so I can’t see all the damage but I see enough. They didn’t kill me but they made me ugly. Deep red marks on my chest and abdomen tell me everything I need to know about my future with Sin. There isn’t one. He has beautiful women always ready to fall to their knees for him. Why would he want this?

Nurse Jane glances at me compassionately, “They’ll fade with time but I’m sorry honey, they won’t go away. Embrace your battle scars. You survived when we really weren’t sure you would.”

I swallow past the lump in my throat and force back the tears trying to fall and I don’t say it, but right now I wish they would’ve let me die. I know there’s more to a person than how they look, but my body has been butchered, and there’s no way I’ll ever be able to forget that day. And neither will Sin. Every time he looks at the ugly scars, he’ll see it too.

I need to be the one to make the break. It’ll be easier for both of us. I’d rather walk away from him on my own than to hear him say he isn’t attracted to me anymore. Knowing it and hearingit are two very different things. The pain of those words would shatter me. It’s better this way.

CHAPTER 37

SIN

Kierra comes out of the bathroom and the nurse helps her back into bed. She’s quiet. Too quiet. The nurse leaves the room and I ask, “Baby girl, is something wrong?”

She closes her eyes tight and says, “No.”

“Kierra, look at me.”

But she doesn’t spare me a single glance as she destroys me,“I don’t want this anymore, Sin. I don’t want you. It’s time we move on.”

I don’t move. I can’t breathe. All the air in my lungs is gone. This can’t be happening. How do you go from love to this in the blink of an eye?

Her eyes pop open. I think to see if I’ve left.

Silly fucking girl.

I raise an eyebrow at her. “Is that so?”

With a long, drawn-out sigh, she whispers softly, “Yes. Please go.”

I chuckle obnoxiously. “Do you remember when I said if I fucked you again, I’d never let you go?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t lie, baby girl. I meant it then and I fucking mean it now. While I don’t have a clue what is going on, I do know nothing has changed. I’ll never let you go. You’re mine.”

She glances at me with a pain filled expression, “Everything has changed.”

I get up and move to the side of her bed and sit beside her. “Talk to me. Where is this coming from?”

A tear slips down her cheek. “Can’t you just go? Why do you have to make this so hard?”

I drag my thumb down her wet face. “I can’t. You’re asking me to rip my heart out for no apparent reason. I sat here every day, twenty-four seven for three and a half weeks. Waiting. Hoping to hear that sweet voice again. To look into your eyes. To hold you in my arms because when I can’t, it’s pure torture. If you’ve forgotten how you feel about me, I’ll remind you. It’s powerful. The intensity is so strong it nearly burns us both. I would burn to nothing but ash before I ever walk away from you.

More tears fall as she speaks low, “Sin, everything is different. I’m different.”

The pain is so clear in her eyes, and it nearly breaks me. “Are you having flashbacks, baby girl? We’ll get you through this. I’ll hire the best therapists in the world to get you back to where you were before this happened.”

She clenches her fists and shakes lightly. “If you ever gave a fuck about me, you’ll go.”

I glare at her as I wrap my hand around her throat, grabbing her chin with my thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look into my eyes. “Why is everything different? I’m done playing fucking games with you. I want a goddamn answer.”

More tears fall, but I ignore them as I wait for her response. “I’m ugly. I’ll never be the same. The nurse said the scars are permanent. This is me now, Sin. Forever.”

The pain in my chest becomes so intense it’s nearly unbearable as I pull her into my arms, hoping like hell I don’t hurt her but needing her close.

“You think whatever scars you have will change how I feel about you?”

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