Page 31 of Bones

I glance at my first boyfriend, William. He loves me, so I know he’ll help. After I tell him what my father has been doing to me, his response is unexpected. He retracts his hand from mine. “That’s fucking disgusting.”

“It’s not what I want,” I whisper as I hang my head down.

“Your own father?”

His words are harsh, but it’s the way he looks at me that embeds itself in my soul.

“Looking at you makes me want to vomit.”

He pushes me to my knees. “Since you enjoy being a whore, I’ll treat you like one.”

“Butterfly, stay with me. You are fucking safe.”

Gripping my chin with his hand makes me focus on him. “I’m not a good man. It’s the complete opposite. I swear to you, no man will ever hurt you again. You are married to a man born into vengeance. I can’t promise to always do the right thing, but I can, and do, promise to always protect you from assholes like Manny.”

“Luca, make me forget he exists.”

Again, I’m not talking about Manny, but he doesn’t need to know that.

He presses his lips to mine and thrusts his tongue in my mouth, as he begins to move inside me again.

Tilting my head to the side, he deepens our kiss, and I run my fingers through his hair. I don’t understand my own emotions. The man who has held me captive, and kept me in a cage, is a place of safety to me. I should be terrified of him, but I’m not.

He pulls back and stares at me, while he picks up his speed. “Mine,” he growls, and I nod in agreement, because I want to be his. I want him to always look at me like he’ll die if he can’t have me.

His abs tighten as he buries his face in my neck, and grunts against my skin. He fills me, and I feel his cock spasming inside me.

Lifting his head, he stares at me with a serious expression. “No more not eating. When I put my baby inside you, I want it born healthy. You’ll take care of yourself, Butterfly.”

“What if I don’t want a baby?”

He pulls out of me with a chuckle. “You’ll get used to the idea. You’re my wife, and you will have my children.”

It’s not that I don’t want children, I do, but I don’t want to do to my children what was done to me. What if I’m like my mother, and abandon my child because it’s easier? Sure, my father is an abusive asshole, but she could’ve taken me when she ran, but going without her child was the easy route. Would I decide I don’t want to be married to the head of a mafia family, and leave my child behind? I want to believe I could never do such a thing, but maybe it’s in my DNA. My grandmother abandoned my mother, and my mother abandoned me. Why wouldn’t I expect I’d do the same?

“If you love your future children, you don’t want me to be their mother.”

He helps me off the table and I shrug. “I don’t see myself as the mothering type.”

Pulling me into his arms, he smirks. “You will have all the help you need. You want a nanny? Done. Two Nannies? Done. A chef? Already have one. A housekeeper? Also have one of those.”

Carrying me up the stairs, he says, “Mothering my children is part of your job as my wife. I’ll do whatever I can to make it easier onyou, but there’s no way it isn’t happening. Generally speaking, the first born male takes over the family. So if one of my idiot brothers has one first, everything is fucked. This is important; if it weren’t, I wouldn’t require it of you.”

Required.

I don’t bother arguing, because if I’ve learned anything about Luca, it’s that what he says will be done, will be. If I’m ever allowed to leave alone, I’ll get on birth control until I decide I want a child. Maybe I never will. I honestly don’t believe he’ll hurt me if I can never bear children.

He fills up the bathtub with bubbles, water, and tells me to get in with a nod of his head. I do and he climbs in behind me, and wraps his arms around me.

I lay back against his chest and sigh, as the warm water and scent of lavender soothes me.

“Are you going to tell me what he did to you?”

“No.”

He chuckles. “You will eventually, wife. I’ll be everything in your world. One day, you’ll trust me and expose your soul to me.”

I want to tell him I won’t, but it’s not because I don’t trust him, but because I know he’ll be so disgusted with me, he’ll never touch me again. The thought of him looking at me the way William did, or taunting like Manny used to, is something I know I can’t handle.

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