Page 45 of Hawk

Hawk

After a short nap, we took a shower together. I meticulously cleaned every inch of his body because I was nothing if not thorough. I’d waited for so long for my chance with Mika, and now that I had him here in my home with me, I didn’t want to let him go. I wanted to close the door, pull the curtains tight, and just stay here with him until we ran out of food. Of course, there was always grocery delivery.

“I sent Mary Ellen a message and let her know I got delayed. I can’t believe it was just this morning that she asked me to pick up that package. She said just to bring it to work with me tomorrow.”

“I thought we agreed it was safer if you took a little time off.”

“I will, but if there’s any way, I really do need to go tomorrow. She’s getting everything ready for her niece’s birthday party, and I need to be there just in case there are any problems with the caterers or the flower delivery.”

I studied him for a second. He looked so hopeful, and I had a lot of respect for his dedication to his employer. “We can work something out tomorrow. Either I or one of the guys will go with you and stay until you’re done. We know Snake knows where you spend your days, so I’m not comfortable with you being there by yourself.”

“I feel like I’m causing everyone so much trouble.”

I wrapped my arms around him. “You aren’t causing anyone trouble. That would all be on Butch.”

“But you wouldn’t be mixed up in this if I hadn’t been stupid enough to get involved with him in the first place,” he mumbled into my chest.

I pushed him back and looked him square in the eyes because I needed him to see how serious I was. This wasn’t the first time today I’d heard him call himself stupid, and I wasn’t having it.

“I’m not the kind of Daddy that sets a lot of rules. I need you to hear that before I say what comes next. Are you listening to me?” He nodded yes, so I continued. “You just earned yourself a rule, baby boy.”

“What is it?” He blinked up at me, and I could tell he had no idea what he’d done. He’d probably spent so much time beating himself up over past choices that it never even occurred to him not to.

“Was getting involved with Butch the best decision ever? Obviously not. But it was a mistake, and we all make them. You aren’t stupid, and I won’t stand here and listen to anyone call you names. Not even you. What you are is incredibly strong. You were in a bad situation, and you took steps to get yourself out of it. That takes courage, so no more calling yourself names. Got it?”

“Yes, I got it.”

“Good. Now let’s get you some food, and then we should go by your place and grab you some clothes.”

“My clothes? You want me to stay here?” he asked.

“Yes, that’s why I had Kat make you a card. I think this is the safest place for you right now. The security in the building is excellent.”

I watched as his face fell for a second before he caught himself and pasted on a fake smile. “You’re right, of course. I mean, the security is excellent, so it would be hard for Butch or his goons to get to me if I’m staying here.”

I was excellent at my job, and there was no one better at reading a room. But this thing with Mika wasn’t a job, and I was doing a shit job of reading him right now. I wanted to think his disappointment was because I said this was the safest place for him, not that I wanted him here, but I wasn’t sure. I blamed it on the fact that I’d been in so deep for so long where he was concerned that I expected him to know how serious I was about him. I had to remember that he had no idea that I was already all in, so I had to give him a chance to catch up.

“Listen to me, mouse. If it was up to me, we’d go get everything you own and bring it here to my place right now. Not because you’re in danger but because I want you with me. But I’m smart enough to know that probably sounds a little nuts since I haven’t even taken you out on a date yet.”

“You want to take me on a date?” His real smile was back, which made me really glad I’d laid that all out there.

“Of course I do, but that’ll have to wait until you’re safe. My point is, I want you here in my space. I want to wine and dine you and take you dancing. I want to take care of you in every way possible because you’re someone special, Mika, and you deserve to be treated like it.”

He let that sink in for a minute and then nodded. “Okay, let’s go get some of my stuff then.”

Mika

I had one goal: try to act normal. Because what I really wanted to do was a happy dance right here in the middle of Hawk’s living room. I didn’t know if this was a forever kind of thing or not, but no one had ever told me they wanted to take care of me and cherish me just because I deserved to be treated that way.

And yeah, it probably was a little nuts. But if Hawk wanted me here in his space for all the reasons he’d said—not just because I had a psycho ex trying to hunt me down—then I was there for it… because I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

“I want to run down and check in with Kat before we leave. Feel free to check the place out while I’m gone.”

“Okay. I should probably check in with Andy anyway. It wouldn’t make him happy if he finds out what happened from someone else.”

He leaned down and brushed his lips across mine. “Won’t take but a minute.”

I watched him walk out, and as soon as the door closed behind him, I ran my fingers across my lips. I hadn’t realized I wanted goodbye kisses in my life, but man, that was sweet. I wondered if that was something he’d do all the time. I sure hoped so.

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