Page 16 of Unholy Cross

“Mom?Where are you?”

Suddenly her mom was there, right in front of her face.Blood poured from the bullet hole between her eyes.Startled, Lorelei jerked back, but a skeleton clamped down on her wrist.

“Join us, Lorelei.We’re waiting for you.”

Lorelei sat up in bed with a strangled scream.Her heart thundered in her chest as she searched the bedroom for her mother, but the ghost wasn’t there.With a lingering sob, she flopped back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling.She hated dreaming of her lost family.

With a sigh, she got out of bed and headed into the bathroom.After washing up, she dressed in another set of clean clothes that Cross had bought for her.This was the last set, so she had to find a laundromat soon.When she walked back into the bedroom, Cross was there, holding out a cup from a local coffee shop.It smelled heavenly, and her mouth watered.It had been a long time since she had coffee.

Thank you,she mouthed, and he winked at her.

Cross tossed onto the bed a new, folded-up map.“I thought we could figure out where we would like to live.”

This was rolling along quickly, she thought.Truthfully, she didn’t care.It wasn’t like she was ever going back to Denver.He unfolded the map and smoothed it out.

“Recently, I lived in Illinois,” he told her, pointing to the area.“I was president of the Heart of Darkness MC.”

His gaze defocused, and when he frowned, she realized he was locked in a memory.She recognized the look, having experienced that mental escape more times than she could count.

“I was so fucking stupid,” he continued.He picked up her pen and put an X through Illinois and Missouri.“I can’t go back there.I made a deal with this man named Patrick O’Shannon to hold Vivi in my clubhouse.”

That revelation rocked her foundation.He’d imprisoned a woman?Just like what happened to her?The fear he was going to lock her up, like Birsha had done, was front and center in her psyche.Lorelei stumbled back, and he automatically grabbed her arm to steady her.Instead of helping her, though, she felt shackled once more and fought to free herself.

“Lorelei?What’s wrong?”

She shook her head and tears welled up in her eyes as she tried to pry his fingers from her wrist.

“Oh, shit,” he groaned.“Stop please.That was a completely different me.Lorelei, listen.I know this looks bad.You’re comparing what I did to Vivi against what was done to you, and it doesn’t look good.I can’t erase what I’ve done in the past, and you probably think you can’t believe anything I say.”

Lorelei stopped fighting, although she balanced on the edge of full-blown panic.

“I told you Vivi has a power,” he continued.“She helped me.I have this static in my head.Pain, torment, and rage are all mixed together, and sometimes it gets so loud it fucking kills me.For a brief moment, she quieted it all down.Like a switch had been flipped.It was the closest I’ve ever gotten to peace.”

She cocked her head, listening, and no longer trying to escape.

“The club didn’t like how I sold out to O’Shannon and when I came back empty-handed, I was voted out.But to leave a club, you must walk the gauntlet.All the men lined up to form a pathway that I had to pass through while they beat the shit out of me.Some men don’t survive, but I did, and I agreed never to set foot in their territory again.”

Lorelei remembered the whip marks on his back.

“Sometimes I wonder why I fought to survive the gauntlet,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

For one moment, Cross looked like a desperate, defeated man.She knew a little about being held captive.Hers had been a cell.His was the past.Maybe she was an idiot, but her heart went out to him.

“I’d rather not go back to Colorado, where I’m from.It’s where I lost my parents.Where Costello Birsha discovered what I could do.When they were killed, he took me and sold my ability.”

“You must have been terrified,” he said softly.“But I’m not like Birsha.I’m not going sell you off piece by piece.”

“How can I trust you?”

“You trusted me enough to protect you from those men in the motel.You trusted me against Jessica.Why do you think you can’t trust me now?I’m your protector.”

He didn’t say the things she wanted to hear, but what did she expect?This wasn’t a fairy tale.Happily ever after was just a myth.People, she quickly learned, were assholes.

“Hey, do you like sharks?”

Lorelei blinked and cocked her head.That came out of left field.“What?”