Page 20 of Deprivation

“You’re going to love it. I go there often after leaving the club. They’re open twenty-four hours. Complete greasy spoon but nothing better after a late night,” he continues. He waves goodbye to Huggie and opens the door for me.

I turn to look for Jake and Mel but know it’ll cause more drama to approach them to say goodnight. They’re too intoxicated to hold an articulate conversation. I plan to come by in the next few weeks to help them prepare to move, so it isn’t as if this is goodbye.

As I unlock my Toyota Corolla, I wince as Nate tries to squeeze his six-foot two-inch frame into the front seat of the car. He’s tall and muscular but has such a gentle, open spirit about him. You don’t feel intimated like with some of the Neanderthals I see at the gym. As we start toward the highway, I ask, “So what club do you go to? I love to dance. Do they have good dance music?”

“Ah, it’s the best. Man, I miss having someone to go clubbing with. Maybe you could come along next time?” He beams over at me.

Okay, this guy is just beautiful.I’m not falling for this again. Just enjoy a hot dance partner. Maybe keeping men as friends is the way to go.

* * *

Two weeks later, Nate’s picked me up and we’re headed to The Pyramid, his favorite stomping grounds. The line isn’t long to get in, so we’re soon saddled up to the bar ordering a drink before hitting the dance floor. It dawns on me as I dance with this incredibly attractive man who can move like nobody’s business, there are very few women here. The majority of the clientele are attractive, well-dressed men. On closer inspection, the few women I’ve witnessed are either notably transgendered or dressed as drag queens.Holy heck, I’m at a gay bar.Wait, does that mean?

As the song ends, I point toward the back door which opens to a small courtyard. Nate and I make our way outside. The cool air feels good against my flushed, sweaty skin. I sit on the bench and ponder how to put this out there. “Nate, not that it bothers me at all, but are you gay? This is a gay bar, right?” I ask hesitantly.

“Yeah, Kat. I’m sorry. I should’ve warned you before we got here. But to be honest, I had such a great time with you after the party the other night, I was afraid of wrecking what seemed like the beginning of a great friendship. I figured if you ghosted me after you found out, I might at least get a good night of dancing out of it.” He looks at me hesitantly with what appears to be shame in his eyes.

This breaks my heart. That someone would ghost such an incredible man for his sexual orientation. “Ha, are you kidding? This makes you even more appealing in my book.”

He looks floored by my response.

“Nate. I have the worst luck with men. I have a full life with work, school, the rescue squad, and my plans to attend PA school one day. I’m not about to consider another dickhead. They just distract me and leave me humiliated. Getting a hot dance buddyanda new friend is the best thing that could’ve happened to me right now.”

Nate grabs me to him, crushing me to his chest with his strong arms. I can feel the joy radiating from him. If it’s possible, I feel he’s just as relieved to have me in his life as I am to have him in mine.

* * *

Over the next few months, I spend more time with Nate. It’s such a gift to fill Jake and Melanie’s absence with this fun, affectionate man. I’m able to socialize and enjoy going to the club and let my guard down.

One evening, before heading out for the night, I convince Nate to come to dinner with my grandparents. It’s laughable watching my five-foot nothing grandmother stand on tip toes to try to engulf Nate’s imposing form. She could invite one hundred people to a party, and each would leave feeling like they were the guest of honor. My grandfather has a special piece of my heart as well, but he’s much more reserved than she is. I need her tiny, loving force of nature in my life devoid of physical affection. I’ve explained to my sweet gran that my relationship with Nate is purely platonic. I’m sure she’s just glad to see someone in my life showing that they care. Between the warm hugs from my grandparents, the constant refilling of our plates with steaming hot southern comfort food, and the sweet way Nate smiles at me in adoration, I almost cry. To have this much love in one room, my cup truly runneth over.

After dinner, we say our goodbyes and head downtown. We joke that it’ll be tough to bust a move feeling bloated on my grandmother’s chicken, macaroni and cheese, and biscuits. The crowd is moderate as we enter the club, but it quickly fills to capacity as we dance to several upbeat songs with a techno vibe. Covered in sweat, heart racing, I signal that I need a break as the song comes to an end.

As we exit the dance floor, a friend of Nate’s approaches, grabs his hand, and drags him back to where we’ve just left.

Smiling, I take a seat at the end of the bar. As I sip my Tequila Sunrise, I notice a muscular, tattoo-covered arm to my right. Gazing up, I see a blue-eyed man with wisps of straight, sun kissed blond hair falling over his forehead, smiling down at me.

“Hey. I’m Chris. I noticed you’ve been coming here with Nate lately. You’re a great dancer.”

“Thank you. Yeah, Nate’s the best. It’s been a lot of fun. Are you and Nate friends?”

“Nah, he’s a nice guy, though. Just know him from here. A lot of guys seem to gravitate to him, but he always came here alone until you,” he says curiously. Is this guy looking for me to put in a good word for him with Nate?

“So who do you come here with? Since you’ve paid so much attention to Nate’s comings and goings, I hope you haven’t been coming here with someone else,” I say pointedly. My protective radar has kicked into full gear. I’m not introducing any players to my friend. He can meet those without any help from me.

Chuckling, he replies, “No, I work here. I’m the DJ,” he corrects, pointing to the booth beside him. “I’m not gay.”

Well, that was unexpected. I guess I assumed everyone here was gay. Well, everyone but me.

“Nate will probably be dancing for a while. Do you want to come up in the DJ booth and hang out for a bit? Unfortunately, this song won’t last forever, so I have to get back up there.”

Hmm, that could be fun. “Sure, I’ve never been in one before. It’d be fun to watch you work,” I smile.

* * *

The next few occasions we frequent The Pyramid, I visit Chris in his booth while Nate shares his buoyant personality with the crowd. Nate admits he doesn’t know much about Chris, but thought he seemed to be a decent guy. I know if there are any skeletons in his closet, Nate wouldn’t knowingly hide them from me. One evening, while I watch a sea of striking men gyrate to the pulsing beat Chris is spinning, he turns to me and asks, “Hey, want to grab a bite to eat one night?”

I don’t really hesitate, as I feel I’ve gotten to know him over the last few visits to the club. We begin to spend time together, but not at the expense of my work, school, or club visits with Nate. So when he leans over in the DJ booth to kiss me one night, it takes me by surprise.ButI don’t hate it.

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