Page 30 of Deprivation

“I understand, honey. Give Nate a big hug from me. I’ll see you Thursday and will have a heaping plate of mac ‘n’ cheese ready and waiting.”

* * *

The week passes quickly, too much on my calendar to slow down long enough to reflect on recent events. I need to take my grandmother’s advice and focus on the future. I’m working hard for a reason. I want a career I can be proud of, and I enjoy caring for people. Whether there’s a man and children in my future is not for me to contend with at the moment. I’m still young and will save those worries for another day.

* * *

“Finally!” I almost shout as I hug my dance partner. “I’ve been waiting for this all week.”

“Me, too,” Nate yells back over the loud dance music. We grab our first round of drinks from the bar, clink our glasses, and head for our cool down spot in the back courtyard. “Boy, I needed this. Hey, I’m sorry my schedule was so rough this week. I never heard how the shower went.”

“Oh, don’t remind me. I’d rather forget all about it if it’s okay with you.”

“Wow, that bad, huh?”

“Worse. I need to adjust my expectations in the future so I don’t let any of their behavior bother me. I honestly think my mom loves me, but appearances seem to matter more.” I stop for a big sip of my fruity drink. “My gran is right. My time is coming.” I try to reassure myself. “At least I got to spend some extra time with Granny. She said to tell you ‘hi’ by the way.”

“Oh, my god, I love that little lady,” he professes. “I have dreams about her mac ‘n’ cheese.”

“Nate, what is this?” I slurp, realizing I probably drank that way too fast. “This is good.”

“You mean, was good. It’s a Madras. It has Vodka, orange juice, cranberry juice, and a little lime. Full of sugar but so worth it.”

“I’m so glad you aren’t into beer,” I laugh. I suddenly feel my phone buzzing in my back pocket. Who on earth would be calling me after midnight? I see the number and realize it’s Rachel. But she isn’t due for six more weeks.Oh, god. That wouldn’t be good for the baby to come this early.Panicking, I quickly answer the phone. “Rachel, is everything okay?”

“Kat, it’s Gran.”

Chapter Twelve

Present Day

Kat

It’s dark, so dark. Where am I? I hear ear-piercing heavy metal playing all around me. Moving through a sea of sweaty bodies, I find a door and slip inside. There’s a changing room of sorts with fascinating attire and props. Am I backstage at a production with Olivia?

Suddenly, a gorgeous woman with platinum hair styled large atop her head grabs my hand and pulls me with her to the back of the room. She removes my top and hands me a black leather corset.Hmm, okay?Having to stand to get the tight garment on, I feel her peeling my leggings off and encouraging me to step into the tiniest panties I’ve ever seen. I start to ask, “What’s the point in wearing this nonexistent thong?” when she smacks my leg, directing me to place my foot into the awaiting thigh-high stocking she’s holding out for me.Wow, she’s bossy.

As I complete dressing with this sexy tyrant, I note the opening for “Down with the Sickness” by Disturbed. As if on cue, a whip of some sort is placed into my hands, and I’m suddenly thrust up a narrow stairway. As I get closer to the top of the steps, I notice a long catwalk before me and strobe lights beating to the bass of the song. A forceful shove from the dominatrix propels me forward, and I slowly start to move down the stage, careful not to fall off of the tall stilettos I’m now wearing. As my comfort level grows, I stand taller, walking with greater confidence, which allows me to take in the scene.

Lining the cat walk in front of the loud, raucous crowd are my ex-lovers.Did they come here together? Is there a damn club of my former boyfriends somewhere?The rhythm of the powerful, angry music combined with the vision of prior heartbreak has my arm swinging, the whip sailing through the air toward each of them, as if the snap of the whip is trained to release in time with the beat of the music. I suddenly feel embolden like I haven’t felt before. Each of them fall to the ground with the crack of the whip. Thwack, thwack, thwack. I watch proudly as they fall, one after the other. Down, down…

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Shaking my head, I realize I’m in bed. Holy cow, that was some dream. After hitting the snooze button on my alarm, I lie still, trying to reconnect the dots of the night’s reverie. It wasn’t the steamy sort of fantasy I’d been starting to enjoy with use of my sleep aid, but it wasn’t a nightmare, either.Well, that was disturbing. I laugh at my private joke.God, I’m really cracking up now. I need to see that therapist. Luckily, it’s not much longer until my appointment.

Getting up, I sit on the side of the bed and remember I’m off today.Yay!All I have is my volunteer job delivering meals to shut-ins and picking up Melanie’s birthday gift before meeting my friends for drinks and dancing to celebrate Mel turning thirty. Putting my crazy dream behind me, I head for the shower to clean up and head out.

After sliding into jeans and a loose-fitting top, I choose an outfit to wear tonight. Mel had enjoyed her evening at The Zone as much as I did, and much to Jake’s chagrin, she’s requested we celebrate her milestone birthday amongst friends on the dance floor. Never one to turn down his wife, Jake has given in. I’m looking forward to another fun night. Lying out a flouncy short black skirt, sparkly black tank, and pretty strappy black and teal heels, I step back to assess the outfit.Yes, I think this’ll do.

Gathering my purse and the large portable cooler I use to deliver meals to the eight elderly residents on my route, I head for the door. After leaving the rescue squad, I missed volunteering. This job hasn’t required much of a time commitment, and the recipients always appear grateful. I only deliver once a month, so there isn’t much of a rapport with them. I’ve developed a fondness for one client who reminds me of my grandmother. He’s soft-spoken, easygoing, and likes to talk, so I’m happy to keep him company and listen. Others are just thankful someone brings their food. The service is a nice way to give back and allows someone to check in on them.

Driving down the highway to the church where I pick up the meals, I contemplate the remainder of my day. I decide I’ll head to the outdoor mall and peruse the shops for something to give Mel then grab a bite to eat. Then, I’ll make my way back home, wrap my gift, shower, and change for the great night ahead.

* * *

Nick

“Great shot!” I yell toward Ruby. “Wow, if you’d scored that goal during a game, you’d have the whole crowd on their feet.”

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