Page 38 of Deprivation

“Kat? Can I get you something? Tissues?” he kindly implores.

“Oh, no. I could use a drink of water. I’ll be fine, though.”

He suddenly reaches over to his desk phone and hits a button.

“Yes, Dr. Miller.” I hear the would-be model hum into the line. Holy crap, now I can’t stop picturing the two of them going at it. It’d be like watching a sex scene from a reality TV show, like the Bachelor or something.These two hot-

“Miss Kelly?”Oh, good lord, what is wrong with me?

“Yes?” I cringe, not believing how distracting this guy is.

“Would you like a Perrier or a bottle of spring water?” he asks like we’re dining at a five-star restaurant.Jeez, I would’ve sucked from a water fountain. Is my insurance going to cover this place?

“Spring water is fine, thank you,” I finally manage to answer. I watch as he lays the phone back on its cradle and notice the muscles of his forearm flexing with each movement.Yeah, I’m going to get nowhere here.

“As you were saying, Miss Kelly,” he urges.

“Oh, yes. Well, I’ve never been assaulted or anything. I’ve just had a train wreck of a past with men. Most were cheaters, and the others were just despicable human beings. Some surprised me with how hateful they were. Instead of being apologetic when caught in their disgusting behavior, they’d turn their venom on me and tell me how stupid I was for believing I deserved anything better. I guess in some ways they were right. I mean, with each man I met, I suspected they were another asshole. So why would I stay? Anyway, I started having nightmares starring each of these losers about three and half years ago, and it’s really done a number on me.”

I notice Matth… I mean, Gil hasn’t taken any notes. He just sits and listens, resting his right hand on his chin, occasionally grazing his thumb and forefinger across the sexy stubble residing there.

“So, what were you doing three and a half years ago which may have brought on these night terrors?” he drawls.

Hmm, I’ve never really considered this. Plus, theywerenight terrors. I like this terminology much more than a nightmare, which sounds almost juvenile. “Well, I’d just been accepted into PA school. I was making a huge leap. I packed up my things and moved to Norfolk to attend Medical School. No one in my family had ever gone to college, and I was starting my graduate program at an expensive private school. It was a lot of pressure. I’d already paid for my undergraduate degree on my own, going to school part-time to pay as I went. But I needed loans for this degree. Plus, I was on my own, as I’d literally just broken up with theworstof my ex-boyfriends just prior to Christmas. PA school started in January.”

“Wow. That was a lot of stress. PA school is no easy feat. You should be very proud. And to have completed your studies under such hectic circumstances, you’re clearly a very resilient woman, Kat Kelly.” He flashes his bright smile and deep baby blues in my direction.

Oh, my God. He’s getting me wet.He’s been nothing but professional, and I’m a complete nut-job.I guess I’m at the right place.His insight and reassurance are delightful, but I have to stop looking at him. I just keep waiting for him to “Alright, Alright, Alright” me.I’d probably orgasm on the spot.About that time,Barbiecomes in with my much-needed water.What I need is a damn cold shower. Could ya bring one of those?

“So why do you think you continued to date men who you knew weren’t worthy of you?” he continues.

Wow. I love that. Heck, yeah, they weren’t worthy!“I think I kept settling because I didn’t get a lot of love or affection at home. My grandmother was the only loving person I knew, but she passed away over six years ago. The rest of the family is just not affectionate, verbally or physically. I think loneliness got the best of me and I started to accept it was this or nothing. Plus, it’s taken a long time to realize my worth.” I shrug. “There was one guy I was fond of who treated me well,” I correct. “But I found out he was a cocaine addict, so there’s that. I’ve just decided to avoid the lot of them.”

“Well, beyond the isolation, that’s not solving your sleep issue. But we’ll get back to men next time. Let’s focus on you right now.”

Don’t look at his face. Just don’t do it.

“So, I started using a sleep aid and I’m sleeping better, but I might be losing my mind,” I share with my new confidant. “My new nighttime entertainment is no longer terrifying, so that’s a plus. But my new dreams practically border on porn. I’m sleeping, so I haven’t wanted to stop taking the pills.” I cringe. Nothing like diving into the deep end. I’m sure I’m making quite the first impression. I notice complete silence for several minutes and warily look to his face, wondering if I’ve completely floored him with my honesty.

“Well, I guess you found a way to meet your needs after all,” he finally responds with an almost wicked grin. “All right…”

My eyes widen in shock.Is he going to say it? Lord, I have to get out of here.

“We have come to the end of our session for the day,” he finishes. Standing, he walks around the desk and reaches for my hand. It’s probably sweaty. “Stop at the desk on the way out and ask Delilah to schedule your next appointment.” She would have a name like Delilah.I bet Gil and Delilah make crazy hot monkey sex once I’m gone.“I look forward to seeing you again, and hopefully we can work on this a little more,” he offers kindly.

“Yes, thank you Matth… I mean, Dr. Miller.” I almost slap my palm to my face. “I appreciate your help.” I turn toward the door wondering what just happened.

* * *

“So Melanie, have you actually been to Dr. Miller?” I ask later that evening preparing for bed. “How exactly did you find him?”

“No. A friend of mine went to see him after her divorce, and he was all she could talk about. I figured he had to be pretty good.”

“Well, I’m not sure how much help he’s going to be with my sleep situation, given he’s probably going to give me spank bank material every time I see him.”

“What? No! Tell me everything, Kat Kelly. Is he hot?” she shoots off her questioning with excitement.

“Um, hot doesn’t touch it. He could be Matthew McConaughey’s twin. And his voice. Heck, I had to check the seat when I got up to make sure I didn’t leave a wet spot.”

---