Page 46 of Deprivation

“Oh, Kat. I never had any doubt. I’m so happy for you. So, class starts in January?”

“Yes, Eastern’s PA program starts mid-January.”

“What does Gabe have to say about all of this?” she asks, concern present in her voice.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I haven’t told him yet. Things have been a little tense lately. My green-eyed monster has been on the warpath, and he’s fed up with me. I get it. But he doesn’t exactly put himself in a position to allay my fears.”

“I get it, Kat. I’d probably be the same way if I was you. I mean, you’ve really dated some dickwads and Gabe is so over the top flirtatious. Hell, I sometimes wonder about him myself. I try not to go there because I really want this to work out for you. I’m just glad you’re finally getting orgasms on the regular,” she laughs. “But, if you’re struggling that much with trust issues, moving two hours away isn’t going to help.”

“I know, I know. I hate to lose him, but I think my mind will go crazy wondering what he’s up to when I’m nose deep in a textbook and he’s out drinking with his sister and her skanky friends.” The thought of that brood makes my skin crawl. “And I can’t afford the distraction from my studies.” I hesitate, momentarily. “Plus, I’m afraid to tell you…”

“Uh-oh. Afraid to tell me what?”

“Well. The sex is certainly better than with past partners. But-”

“But what?”

“But I still don’t think I’ve had an orgasm,” I whisper into the receiver.

“Oh, Kat. For real? Jesus. Do I have to get Mac to teach your boyfriends how to do it?”

“Oh, God. No. Besides, it’s got to be me. I get close, Liv. But somehow it always seems to end before I cross the finish line,” I admit. “Like I said, it’s still the best I’ve had, so I’m not complaining. It’s not that big a deal.”

“Yes. Yes, Kat, it’s a very big deal.”

“Well, I appreciate your honesty, but I’ll stick to self-gratification for my Os and enjoy the rest as best I can.”

“Ugh, Kit Kat.”

“I miss you so much, Liv. I wish I could give you a big hug before I leave for school,” I state, trying hard to change the subject. “I really should go. I just wanted you to be the first to hear my news.”

“Wow, Kat. You haven’t told your parents?”

“Nah, I’m going to see everyone at Rachel’s shower this weekend. I figured I could tell them in person. Can you believe I have to go to another one of these things? Isn’t one shower enough? And I won’t even have Gran to get me through this one.” I try not to think too hard on that and ruin my good mood.

“Yeah, she’s really popping them out. Good luck. Miss you, Kat.”

* * *

The weekend has arrived, and I gather my purse and the gift for Rachel and my new niece as I walk toward the door. They’d received an ultrasound a few months ago which confirmed the gender. I should be excited to welcome a little girl into the family, but I’m honestly distracted by all I have on my plate and just want this shindig to be over.

I walk through the front door of my parents’ home, and a sense of déjà vu washes over me. It’s like the first shower all over again, except no sweet Gran patting the seat beside her. I fight back a tear. I think I’ll almost relish the opportunity to play hostess at this one, just to take my mind off of things.

“Katarina,” I hear my dad greet.

“Hi, Dad,” I reply. “I tried to be early this time. Mom need anything?”

About that time, Mom and Rachel come bustling around the corner from the dining room into the kitchen where Dad and I are standing.

“Hi, Mom. Anything I can do to help?”

“No, dear, I think we’re all set right now. You didn’t bring that handsome boyfriend with you?” Mom asks teasingly.

“Mom, Gabe wouldn’t be caught dead at a baby shower.” Of course, almost as soon as the words leave my mouth, I think,He probably wouldn’t mind coming here and schmoozing all the ladies.“Hey, I didn’t want to say anything once the guests arrive. I don’t want to take away from Rachel’s day, but I wanted to tell you my news.”

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