Page 58 of Deprivation

“Thanks again for coming in. I know you didn’t have to,” he asserts as he swipes his badge, gaining entrance to the private lounge, “but you kinda owed me.” He looks at me gravely.

Initially feeling puzzled, I quickly comprehend where this is going. “You’re right,” I say with my head hanging in shame. “Fuck, man, I don’t know how to tell you how sorry I am. I honestly don’t know what came over me.”

“Well, for Kat’s sake, I don’t want to make a public spectacle of this. Hell, you took care of that enough for the both of us.”

I wince, knowing he’s right.

“But fuck, man. I told you how men treat her. Work or not, you have no right to talk to her like that. I don’t care what your reasons are.”

“No. You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I can’t really explain it,” I reply, shaking my head.

“Well, you better fucking try. Dude, you hang out with my kids. I invited you to my wife’s birthday, and I told you I think of Kat like a little sister. If you were anyone else, I’d knock your fucking lights out. And don’t think I’m not the only one in the ER that has considered that option.”

“Shit.” I consider the men in Kat’s circle.Any one of them could mess me the hell up.It’s a wonder I’m still in one piece. They must’ve been able to keep this situation under wraps.

“Okay, truth?”

“That’d be nice,” I hear served up with a hefty dose of sarcasm.

“I can’t stop thinking about her.” I cannot believe I am telling him this.

“Well, you have a funny way of showing your admiration,” he states not appearing as astonished as I was expecting.

“No. I’ve made a commitment to myself. I’m not getting into another relationship. I don’t have the time or inclination to give you all the dirty details of mysoap operapast, but let’s just say I’m not relationship material.” My behavior should’ve made that clear. “But I can’t stop thinking about her, and it’s making me crazy.” I pause, the arid sensation in my mouth forcing me to gulp half of my water before I can go on. “I started to get the feeling she was interested too, and it was causing a war within me. I’d made peace with the fact that I needed to let any thoughts of a relationship with her, or anyone else go. Then I saw her with Sebastian Lee.”

Jake glances my way, still holding his tongue.

Appreciating this and trying to give cause to my horrendous behavior, I resume. “I can’t stand that fucker, Jake. He’s a pompous, arrogant son of a bitch. I’ve known him since college. He has no scruples. He’d seduce and impregnate a nun and not look back. I honestly don’t think anyone is off limits. If you think Kat has been hurt before by other assholes… Well, you haven’t met the king.”

“Okay, okay, Nick. I get it,” he cajoles. “You owe her an apology, man. It’s a shame. I honestly think you two could be good for each other.”

“I know. I’ll apologize. Hell, even if I thought I could borrow someone’s balls and just go for it with Kat, I think that ship has sailed.”

“Why’s that?”

“I think she wants to be the queen.”

* * *

Back at home, ruminating over my confession and the previous days’ antics, I sip on my much-awaited Scotch. The burn not near enough to settle the ache in my chest.Grow up, Nick. Pulling out my phone, I shoot out a text,

9:45 p.m.

Nick: I’m sorry. Please forgive me.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Present Day

Nick

“Hey, Dad. You got anything planned this weekend?” I throw out, knowing the answer already. Well, unless things have picked up with his lady friend.

“No. What’ve you got in mind?”

“I just bought a boat. I’m so stoked. I’m dying to take it out. I know it’ll be cold, fall and all, but the price was too good to pass up, and I can’t wait to get it out there.”

“They’re calling for abnormally warm temps this weekend. And clear skies, so you may be in luck.” Of course, he’d know the forecast. What else does he do all day besides garden and watch the news? Man, I can’t end up this way. “Just let me know what time, and I’ll be here waiting with bells on. I can’t remember the last time I got out on the water,” he replies enthusiastically.

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