Page 71 of Deprivation

The door swings open and several physicians enter the lounge, tearing me away from the replay of earlier events. The last to trail in is Jake. He makes eye contact as the door closes behind him.

“Hey, Nick,” he states, looking at me questioningly.

“Hey. You working today?” He’s wearing dress pants and a shirt versus the black scrubs I usually see all of the ER providers wearing.

“Nah, have a meeting in a few. What’ve you been up to? I still owe you a beer.”

“Yeah, I could use one,” I admit.

“Uh-oh. What’s up?”

“Not really sure, to be honest. I thought Kat and I had wiped all our bad blood behind us. I actually tried to ask her out for a drink. I was expecting her to shut me down, but not quite as eloquently as it went.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. She looked like she was having a tough day. I said maybe we could grab some drinks on my boat later to turn the day around, and she went off like a rocket. I basically tried to keep my head down so I’d remain in one piece,” I recount. “I guess she really isn’t interested. No more wondering.”

“Ah, don’t be too sure, Nick. I’m sure there’s something there, but she just won’t admit it. You two are both stubborn that way.” He stops momentarily as if he’s considering another angle. “Her sleep is so bad it wrecks her sometimes. I was hoping she was getting better using the prescription sleep medicine but maybe not. I haven’t written her many, so maybe she isn’t taking them. I don’t know, I was a little worried, anyway.”

Unable to help myself, I forge ahead. “Worried about what?”

“Well, I’m hooked on them now. Can’t sleep without `em. I don’t want her to become addicted, so it’s probably better if she has a few bad days versus becoming dependent on them. Plus, I’ve been told I do some weird shit when I take them.”

I look at him inquisitively, raising one eyebrow in question. This guy is great, but admittedly I’m not in his inner circle, so he has no reason to share his secrets with me.

“I’m not sure how much of what Melanie says I believe. But apparently, I rock her world in bed when I take `em, which would be great if I could remember a damn thing that happened,” he laughs.

I can’t help but laugh back, watching as he looks down at his watch and starts heading for the door leading to the conference room. Before I can say goodbye, he finishes, “Hell, I’ve had friends tell me I showed up at a bar the night before, and I don’t have any memory of being there.” I watch as he walks away shaking his head, laughter echoing behind him.

That is some weird shit.

Chapter Thirty

Present Day

Kat

I stare up at my ceiling, watching as it mocks in its indifference. What’ve I done? How could I have allowed such a phenomenal day to go so off course?What nothing? No witty retort?God, I’m losing it. I’m talking to the damn wall.

Tossing and turning throughout the night, my last recollection was of seeing the clock read 4:40 a.m. It is now 6:45 a.m., and I’m sleep deprived and agitated, again. There were no night terrors preventing my slumber. No crazy time travel by Tarzan looking for his Jane. Just me wondering what had become of my life, punishing myself with one torturous thought after another.

I’m surrounded by the American dream. My younger sister is married with two beautiful kids. My best friend would soon be tying the knot to the love of her life, performing on stage as she always dreamt she would. Heck, even Gabe is engaged with a baby on the way. And me? I need to invest in a muzzle.

Truth is, Nick didn’t deserve the irrational self-defense grenade I launched at him. I’m sure he hadn’t realized he sounded so elitist. He was probably trying to build on that new solid ground we’d laid. Boy, ending the day on his boat with a drink in my hand would’ve been a thousand times better than storming off to my self-imposed exile. The day had started so grand, and I allowed that douchebag Gabe to get under my skin. I was just so angry and hurt, and Nick made himself an easy target. When was I going to adopt Dr. Miller’s stance that Gabe and men like him were unworthy of my time and just walk away?

As I laid in bed last night, I couldn’t help the suspicion the whole thing had been a setup. I’d been the only female on duty. That sweet girl didn’t seem alarmed in the least by her early pregnancy symptoms. Calling ahead to check on staffing probably wouldn’t have been that difficult. From the smarmy, shit-eating grin Gabe wore when heintroducedhimself, I wouldn’t put it past him. But is he that much of an asshole he’d go out of his way to rub it in my face he’d moved on with a literal younger version of me, having the baby I couldn’t?Yes, yes he is.I need to focus on the positive. I narrowly escaped being saddled to him with a child for the rest of my life. Wish I could say the same for poor Kelsie.

Sitting at the edge of the bed, I notice my zolpidem pill bottle. I decide to put that away and simply deal with my lack of sleep for a while versus chancing another morning wake-up call wearing who knows what. Clearly, there’s already enough drama in my life without that baffling scenario returning anytime soon. I stand and head toward the closet where I keep my running gear. Maybe I can clear my head with a run before I have to get ready for work. Better enjoy this weather while I can or it is back to the treadmill.

* * *

Several hours later, I arrive to a full house in the ER. Walking in to my first patient, I’m struck by the sweet sight before me.

“Hi, buddy. I’m so sorry your face hurts.” I try to comfort the adorable two-year old boy adorned in Superman pajamas equipped with a red cape. Big tears trickle down his angelic face.

“Yeah, Superman thought he could fly off of the recliner and landed face first on the floor.” His mother shakes her head at his antics. “This one is all boy.”

“Well, I’d like to get some pictures of his face to make sure he hasn’t broken anything, given the amount of swelling and bruising present. Thankfully, he has no dental injuries, and the small cuts to his lips will not require stitches.” I look to Superman and ask, “You know what the best medicine for this is?” pointing to his swollen mouth.

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