Page 13 of Fractured

“Holy crap! There’s never a dull moment in your world, Katarina.”

“You can say that again. Well, as we came down off of the adrenalin rush associated with that unpredictable situation, he cornered me about a date, and I lamented.”

“Was the date that bad?” Olivia asks around a fork full of leafy greens.

“That’s just it. I can’t remember most of it.” Placing luxurious lemony chicken piccata in my mouth, I moan for the briefest of seconds before Olivia’s shriek jolts me back to the conversation. I’ve shared this often enough now, delivering this crazy tale isn’t the gut punch it used to be.

“What?! What do you mean, you don’t remember it? Did he drug you or something?” Alarm present on her sweet face.

“I don’t think so. I’ve known Mark for years. Plus, I was already mixed up about why I was waking up without clothes on and dreaming of Nick Barnes dressed like Tarzan.”

Watching Olivia’s flat gaze, she exclaims, “Okay, we’re definitely coming back to that! But why can’t you remember the date? It’s not like you took a sleeping pillbeforeyou went?”

“I honestly don’t know. Jake and Melanie want me to take a Rohypnol test. They say you can get one online. If I’m going to do it, I need to do it soon because I think it only goes back a few months. Once I know for sure, I can start looking at other possibilities.” I stab a piece of lettuce from my bowl. “I was at work today, and Mark brought in a patient, and I almost shit myself. My skin started to crawl, and I couldn’t get away from him fast enough. I feel bad judging him, but I can’t shake this feeling there’s more to this. Either way, this situation is plain ridiculous.” Putting my fork down, I look directly at her. “I had to buy a damn Nanny cam, Liv. To spy on me! My life gets nuttier by the minute.”

“I think they’re right, Kat. Take the test. You need some clarity.” I observe her as she eats more lettuce. “You know what I need clarity on? This whole Nick Barnes in a loincloth situation? Please tell me it was some kinky role-playing thing. God, he’s hot. If that guy can’t make you come, no one can.”

“Shhh. Liv,” I scold, looking about quickly to make sure no one has heard her.

“I’m sorry, Kat.” She guffaws. “Have you been seeing him?”

“Who, Nick? No. He’s way out of my league. He’s an incredible flirt. He did ask me out. It was actually quite sweet. He almost seemed nervous. I was at Target. It was the night of the date with Mark. He approached and asked if I’d go out for drinks with him, and I had to tell him I had other plans. He walked away before I could ask for a raincheck.”

“Aw, man. Something tells me that date would’ve gone a lot better.”

“You have no idea. I’d turned back to the shelves of shampoo after he walked away, then suddenly, he spun me around and kissed me like something from the end of a hot rom-com. I’ve never been kissed like that.” Stopping, I replay the memory in my mind’s eye like I’m watching Pride and Prejudice. “God, sometimes, I still think I can feel the tingle on my lips,” I explain, dragging the pad of my index finger back and forth across my lower lip. I notice Olivia is sitting with her chin resting within her adjoined hands, gazing up at me like a child watching the storyteller during reading hour in the library.

“Well, what’s stopping you from telling him you want to go out with him now?” she asks hopefully. “You’ve got to take another chance, Kit Kat. Life will be miserable if you keep shutting yourself off this way. This man clearly has it bad for you. He’s a hot, successful doctor. You could do worse… and have!”

“I know. I know. I’m tempted. But my fear keeps getting in the way. When we met, he was so condescending. Between the initial first impression and his good looks, it just worries me he could turn out like Gabe.”

“There’s no comparison to Gabe. Gabe is a douche canoe. He was a typical salesman. Plus, this guy hasn’t done anything shady, has he?”

“No. Not really. He’s said some odd things recently, but we haven’t really had a chance to have a normal conversation away from the stress of the ER. We hit a few bumps in the road in the beginning. But I haven’t felt like this about anyone before. The others all felt like consolation prizes. I mean, Gabe was nice-looking and charismatic. But, with all my misgivings about him being a cheater, I would’ve left sooner if I thought anyone better might’ve come along. Nick’s different. He makes me swoon. But that’s the part that worries me,” I offer, biting my lower lip.

Olivia looks at me, perplexed. “What do you mean? I’d think you’d be over the moon to finally feel that way about someone. Much less to have them show such obvious interest in return.”

“I’m just scared. Those other guys really hurt me.” Continuing to allow people in my life to betray my trust and treat me like a doormat is crippling. It’s taken a long time, but I’ve managed to mend my broken heart and my self-worth. “If my heart were wrecked by Nick… Olivia, I’m not sure I’d recover.” Pushing my plate away, I realize the lump in my throat has ruined my appetite. “Besides, from what I’ve been told, he isn’t looking for a relationship. So, unless I can protect my heart enough to enjoy hot sex and nothing more, considering anything with him is pointless. If I were that kind of girl, I hope I’d choose someone I didn’t work with.”

“No. I get it. You’ve had some crappy luck with men. I hope you can gather the strength to try again, especially if it’s with someone you truly feel something for. But I get why you’re so hesitant. Whatever you decide, I’ve got your back, Kat.”

“Thanks, Liv. I don’t know why I’m considering anything like that right now anyway. He’s a beautiful distraction, but I have to get my shit together before I even consider getting back out there. Heck, what guy’s going to want to start a relationship with a nutjob that either sleepwalks or plays dress up in the middle of the night?”

“I don’t know, Kat. I think Nick would probably like it if you played dress-up,” she remarks, waggling her brows.

“Is there anything else I can get you, ladies?” the server asks as he holds the check in his hands.

“No. I think we’re good,” I reply. I’m sure Olivia won’t eat anything else. Will she even eat her wedding cake? I can’t remember ever seeing her eat anything sweet.

As the waiter walks off, Olivia clears her throat. “Don’t think you’re off the hook on the whole Nick playing Tarzan thing. The next time we’re together, I want deets. I can only imagine how that one went.” She smirks.

Hugging my dear friend goodbye and watching as she climbs into her car and drives away, I open my car door and sit quietly for a moment. I know Olivia’s right. I can’t protect my heart forever. But I need to tackle one thing at a time. First order of business is figuring out what kind of nighttime frolics are occurring and get them to stop. There’s no going back to that sleeping pill again. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

* * *

Walking into my kitchen, I drop my purse and keys on the island. I need a hot shower and bed. I have another day in the ER tomorrow and want to relax as much as possible before that happens. Luckily, I shouldn’t have to worry about seeing Mark tomorrow, as they work twenty-four-hour shifts, and his workday should end at 6:00 a.m.

I walk into my bathroom to start my steaming shower and take off my clothes. As I enter the hot spray, I turn my back to the powerful jets and let the tension of the day empty into the drain. Tilting my head back, I reflect on my recent conversations with Jake, Mel, and Liv. I need to trust they all have my best interests at heart. They seem to be united in their effort to help me find closure on my questions regarding Mark and my date from hell. The other common denominator is Nick. Each has encouraged me to pursue this. I trust these three with my life. They wouldn’t push me into something they thought would hurt me.

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