Page 43 of Fractured

“It’s Kara.”

“I’m sorry. Nice meeting you, Kara.” I wave.

Walking to the edge of the dance floor where Kat is dancing with Justin, I stand trying to figure out my next move. She’s in her element. I’m not sure why she even brought him out there with her. He’s just standing there, putting his damn hands on her while she wiggles around in front of him. I can feel my jealousy getting the best of me. I look on as the chorus starts to build, and Kat suddenly lifts her arms above her head, throws her head back, arches her neck, and her body starts to shake, reminding me of the last time I saw this.Holy hell.I can feel my cock twitch at the memory.No one should be allowed to see that but me.

Kat opens her eyes and watches me as she’s dancing, placing her arms behind her to pull Justin closer. As the song continues, I note Justin’s hands begin to move. I’m getting to my breaking point. Standing with my hand in my pocket, about to break this quarter in half to displace my anger, I continue to observe this travesty unfold. The chorus returns, and the music picks up, and Kat suddenly bends over in front of him.

That’s it!I walk onto the dance floor, grab her arm, and tug her along behind me as I walk her over to the other side of the dance floor. Wrapping my arm around her before she can stop me, I put one hand behind her head and pull her against me, slamming my mouth over hers. The feel of her soft, warm mouth on mine temporarily calms my nerves. I need to get my shit together so she’ll listen to me.

“Enough is enough, Katarina. I can’t take this anymore. You need to let me explain.” I feel her push against me, but I manage to kiss her again, sliding my mouth down her neck. Feeling a little moan escape her, I have renewed hope. “Kat, you have me by the balls. Please.” I groan into her ear. “Come back to the hotel and talk to me.” She pulls back from me a little, looking into my eyes. “I promise, if you hear me out and still want nothing to do with me, I’ll leave you alone.”

Crossing her arms across her chest, she hisses, “Fine.” Spinning on her heels, she abruptly heads for the door. I follow behind her, keeping a safe distance, so she doesn’t feel smothered. I don’t need to risk giving her a reason to change her mind.

* * *

After getting the cold shoulder in the cab, the silence continues as we head to her room. I want to pick her up and hold her against the inside of this elevator. Remind her how great we are together. But I have a lot of groveling to do first.

The elevator doors open, and I follow along behind her to her hotel room door. As she swipes the key card through the slot, I hold my breath hoping she won’t change her mind and send me away. She enters the room, stops, and turns to me with a serious look on her face. I stay in the hallway, awaiting an invitation.

“You coming in?” She hurls in my direction.

Walking in behind her, I look about the room for the safest place to have this conversation. I don’t want to sit on the bed and have her think there’s an ulterior motive for being here. Walking toward the desk chair, I pull it out and sit. I wait quietly while she sits on the edge of the bed and unzips her boots. Once they’re removed, she looks at me blankly. “Well, say what you have to say.”

Fuck. She isn’t making this easy.“Where do I start?” I ask myself aloud.

“How about the part where you left without saying goodbye and then didn’t bother to call or text until you accidentally bumped into me at work. If I was just an itch you wanted to scratch, you should’ve made that clear from the beginning. I’m making it easy on you. Just walk away. We’re both adults. Let’s agree to be professional around each other and chalk it up to a mistake.”

My head is spinning. How do I get control of this conversation? “Kat.” I wait for her to look at me, so she can see the earnestness in my eyes. “I made a huge mistake. I woke up and saw it was 6:22 a.m. and realized I was on call. I panicked. I tried to get home to shower and be available to respond if the service called but didn’t want to wake you. I know how difficult sleep is for you.”

“Oh, yeah. How do you know that?”

Shit.“Jake told me.”

Wincing, she encourages, “Go on.”

“I was in such a rush, I didn’t think to leave you a note. I took one look at you before I left your house, and I started to freak out.”

“Thanks. That’s a real confidence booster.” She rolls her eyes after hurling that statement at me.

“Kat. Please, let me finish.” Pausing, I rub my fingers through my hair, trying to calm my nerves. “I’ve been afraid of getting too close to any woman since my mom died. I was sixteen. My mom and dad were the epitome of star-crossed lovers. I was grateful to have parents who loved each other so much.” Stopping again, I try to compose myself. Talk of my mother always makes me restless. “After she died, my dad fell apart. It was awful seeing him so broken. I swore I’d never allow myself to fall for someone who could destroy me if they left. I don’t want to end up the empty shell of a man he’s become.”

“But that doesn’t make sense. You were married.” She reminds me.

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. My divorce was messy, but not because I lost the love of my life or anything. I don’t want to get into the details of my divorce, but… well, this is going to sound crazy.”

She scrutinizes my statement with a questioning glare.

“Kat, I’m falling for you hard. I had a full-blown panic attack in my car leaving your house, wondering what would happen if I entered a relationship with you and you walked away.” Stopping, I wring my hands, trying to halt the tremble. “I never felt that way about my ex-wife.” I look at her, awaiting some glimmer of a reaction. Noting a blank stare, I continue. “After I panicked, I tried to get myself together. I wasn’t even sure you’d consider a relationship with me. You’d told me you weren’t in a good place for one. But before I could call you to explain how I was feeling, my dad fell, and I got sidetracked. He’s seventy-seven and ended up with a pelvic fracture, and I suddenly had to focus on him and moving my patients around so I could have time off to be with him and…”

Unable to continue sitting so far away, I carefully approach and sit beside her. “Kat, there’s no excuse. Please don’t mistake what I’m saying for an excuse. I allowed the situation with my dad and work to occupy my time because I was afraid. I was afraid of how I was feeling and scared you weren’t interested in seeing where this would go. I was equally afraid you’d want to try, and I’d get hurt down the road. I’ve kept tight control of my life for years, but you make me want to take a chance. Even though I already know I’ll be left in ruins once you’re gone.”

Again, I turn to her and nothing. No hint of what she might be thinking. I decide to put all of my cards on the table. “Hell, Kat, if the last few weeks have been this miserable without you, what would it be like if we were together, and you left me?” I sit quietly, my head hanging, knowing I’ve laid everything at her feet. There’s nothing left I can say. Looking at her face, I see tears falling down her cheeks.What?I move to sit at her feet, holding her hands in mine. “Baby, please talk to me.” Sitting up on my knees, I wipe away her tears and can’t hold back anymore. I lean forward and try to kiss the salty moisture from her delicate skin. “Kat?”

She reaches up to swipe the additional tears trailing down her cheeks. Looking at me with her red-rimmed eyes, she speaks softly. “Thank you for telling me this.”

We sit silently staring at each other, both seeming to wait for the other to talk. I stand, attempting to return to sit by her side when she finally speaks.

“Goodnight, Nick.”

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