Page 67 of Fractured

Kat: Why are you doing this?

Throwing the phone across the bed, I bury my head in my hands and scream. I don’t understand. He’s my friend. How does he have this picture? Is it possible I was really there, dancing, in a strip club? And he was watching? How can this be happening? I can’t even begin to ask him what it is he wants. Does he think he can blackmail me into dating him? Or is there something more he’s interested in taking?

Running to the sink, I splash cold water onto my face. What am I supposed to do now? If I go to the police, he could leak this picture. There’d be no disputing it’s me. If this came out, I’d have to move. I’d be too embarrassed to stay. I doubt people from outside of the area would care, but I’ve lived here my whole life. I couldn’t face people, wondering if they’d seen it and what they thought of me. Every time I walked in to see a new patient, I’d wonder.Holy heck, could I get fired for this? Jeez, of course I can.Who’d believe my story? I’m sure they’ll think I strip for fun.

I get up, taking my glass of wine with me, and head for the shower. I’m getting back in. Somehow the volume of tears doesn’t seem as bad when I’m in there. It’s my refuge from my own personal storm. It’s a good thing I can’t tolerate cold showers, or I’d probably drown in there.

* * *

I roll over to the sharp sting of sunlight. Checking my clock, it’s 6:10 a.m. I’m working at 10:00 a.m. today, so I have plenty of time to get ready. I think I may have managed three hours of sleep which is surprising given that’s about average for me. After last night, I’m surprised I slept at all.

I manage to sit up and grab my robe. At least I’m wearing the same thing I had on last night.Don’t need to watch the highlight reels on the Nanny cam. I shuffle into the kitchen and start the coffee brewing. I need a clear head to plan how I’m going to manage until I see Dr. Miller tomorrow. Once I get through today, I’m not scheduled to work again until Thursday. Willing myself to handle this with more strength and courage than I actually possess, I head back to the shower. My water bill is going to be insane this month.

* * *

“Good morning, Kat,” Dr. Street greets as he walks past the hallway. I’ve only been here ten minutes, but I’m already dreading the day in front of me.

“Hi, Marty.”

“You okay, love? You don’t seem yourself this morning,” he asks with obvious concern.

“I’ll be okay. Just have a lot on my mind,” I offer up. “Is there anything I can help you with before I start picking up patients?”

“No. I’m good,” he responds, apprehensive.

“Really, Marty, I’ll be okay. It’s the sleep thing, that’s all.”

“Okay, doll. Just get another cup of coffee or something.

“Probably not a bad idea on the coffee. I’ll be back in a minute.” I walk down the hall toward the physician’s lounge and swipe my badge. The room is quiet, and I head for the industrial-sized coffee machine. Placing the cup in the dispenser, I try to focus on the scene in front of me. I must not let my mind wander. I will figure this out with Dr. Miller tomorrow afternoon.

“Hey, Kat.” I jump, hearing my name. “Hey, steady there. You okay?” Dr. Lee asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.” He places his hand on my back; I know he’s innocently trying to comfort me. We’ve been here before, but somehow it feels awkward now, accepting consolation from him knowing what he’s done to Nick. Like conspiring with the enemy.

“It’s nothing, really.”

“Well, I feel insulted,” he responds flatly. I look up to see he appears terse. “You must think I’m stupid. Something is clearly wrong, Katarina. Is this like last time? Is someone bothering you?”

I look down, wringing my hands. I have to get my shit together, or I’ll never make it through this day.

“If you won’t tell me, is there someone else who can help you?” he pushes.

“I’m not sure anyone can help,” I whisper. I don’t want to insult this man who’s only trying to help, but there’s no way I can share my problems with him. “I appreciate you trying to help. I have to take care of this on my own. It’ll be okay. But thank you.” I swiftly grab my coffee, turn for the door, and head back to the emergency room before the conversation can continue any further.

* * *

This day couldn’t go any slower. At least the patient volume has been steady, which has taken my mind off of things a bit. I continue to type my notes into the computer so I can leave on time.

“Hey, Kat.” Again, I’m jumping like I’m in a damn haunted house.

“Hey, Jake.”

“Marty said you haven’t been yourself today. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing. I’ll be fine. I see Dr. Miller tomorrow. I’ll be fine. I just need to keep busy and get out of here.” I feel him place his hand over mine, begging for my attention. As I look up from my computer where I’ve been spilling this word salad, I meet his concerned gaze.”

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