Page 74 of Fractured

“Kat. I’ve called the on-call Ob/Gyn.”

“What? Why?”

“It appears you have an impressively large ovarian cyst on that side.”

“Oh, whew. You had me worried. Ovarian cysts are no big deal.” I notice Jake is stoic again.

“Kat, this one is big. The weight of it has caused it to rotate on the fallopian tube. You aren’t getting any blood flow to that ovary.”

Oh god. This isn’t good.

“Try not to worry yet. Wait until the Ob/Gyn comes in and sees you. Maybe there’s something they can do.” Jake grabs my hand in his, but I already know. I can tell by the look on his face, he does too.

* * *

I awake hours later, in a different room than where I was last. Dr. Ryan had come in well after midnight to tell me the cyst had caused too much damage, and they were going to have to remove it. It, and my remaining ovary. I tried to hold my emotions together until I was alone. I didn’t know Dr. Ryan beyond when I’d briefly watched him deliver Katrina’s baby, Grace. I just nodded and listened as he made plans to take me to the operating room as soon as the on-call team could arrive. Looking about, I notice I’m in a regular room now, sunlight through the blinds alerting me it was a new day.

I roll onto my side and feel the tears start to fall.What do you know? Guess I’m not empty anymore.Funny how suddenly all the shit with Mark and the photo doesn’t seem to be that big a deal anymore. My heart squeezes in my chest. I’m not sure why I’m crying.

I’d made choices after I was repeatedly hurt by the men in my life. I wasn’t getting married, much less having children. So why is this so painful? Probably because it’s no longer a choice. That coffin has been nailed shut. There won’t be any babies for Katarina Kelly. Then the reality settles in. No one really wanted me before. Why on Earth would any man want me now?

Nick

It feels as if it’s been a long day, but in reality, it’s only 11:00 a.m. I came in early to take a patient to the OR who’d fallen the night before. She had an ugly, unstable ankle fracture, and I was thankful to get her in first thing this morning. Afterward, I’d gone to the office to see a few of my scheduled appointments before returning to check on her. She’s a special case as she’s thirty weeks pregnant.

As I complete charting her progress note in the computer, I look up to see Jake of all people coming out of a room.That’s odd. Maybe he’s coming to check on one of his ER patients.

I come around the nurses’ station and slap him on the shoulder as he’s standing by the door. “Hey, man, fancy seeing you up on the floor. I didn’t think they ever let you out of the ER,” I joke, but quickly notice anything but a jovial expression on his face.

Grabbing my arm, he starts to pull me down the hallway. “Hey, good to see you, Nick. Yeah, just heading back to where I belong.”

I quickly gather his tone, and the strong grip on my bicep isn’t friendly banter and turn quickly to see the name on the door: K. Kelly. “What the fuck, Jake?”

“Nick,” he cautions.

“She’s in the hospital, and you couldn’t tell me? You were going to usher me away like she wasn’t here?”

“Keep your voice down,” Jake scolds. “You know good and well I can’t tell you she’s here unless she specifically asks me to tell you. I’m not breaking the hospital privacy laws or her personal privacy to tell you anything.”

I stand staring at this man I thought I knew. I’m dumbfounded by this entire situation. I know he’s right, but he knows how much I care about her.

“Nick. It’s nothing personal. She doesn’t want me to tell anyone but her parents she’s here. I can’t tell you anything, even if I wanted to. And you need to respect her privacy. Don’t upset her.”

I drop my voice and almost plead with him. “Is she okay?”

I watch in horror as his head drops. “I think she will be. Just give her some time, Nick. Okay? I have to go. I only ran up here to check on her because I was here when she had to be admitted. But I need to get back downstairs.” He pats me on the shoulder, turns, and walks away.

Looking around, I notice there’s no one around. No nurses, no techs, no other doctors. Fuck it, I can’t help myself. I’d never invade her privacy by looking at her chart. But she can’t expect me not to check on her. Turning quickly toward her door, I slowly push it open and find her lying on her side, her back to me. As I carefully walk toward her bed, I whisper her name.

“Kat?” I don’t know if she’s asleep, but she isn’t answering me.

Unable to stop myself, I lower myself to the edge of the bed behind her and reach for her hand. An IV is taped to her soft skin, and I try to hold her delicate fingers so as not to hurt her.

“Kat. I don’t know why you’re here. I saw Jake leave your room, and I… well, I couldn’t not check on you. I promise I won’t pry into your condition. I just need you to know I’m here. That I…”Holy fuck, man, get yourself together. Don’t dump anything heavy on her right now.“I’m here. If you need me. Just let a nurse know to call me or text me, and I’ll be right here. Okay?” My heart feels like it’s torn in two. I need to get out of here before I start blubbering like a schoolgirl. “I’m going to let you rest. But please let me help? Let me know if you need anything.”

Kat

I feel Nick place my hand down onto the bed carefully, and a tear falls from my eye. I’m trying desperately not to make a sound, as I couldn’t possibly handle seeing him right now. My heart is heavy, my dreams are dashed. My life was already a colossal joke, and now this.

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