Page 83 of Fractured

Bzzz. Bzzz.

I jump at the sensation of the vibrating phone. Picking up the device, I open the message app.

5:25 p.m.

Nick Barnes

Nick: I’ll call when I’m on the way back. I can bring a late dinner.

Holy cow, I thought that was going to be Mark. I don’t afford myself the luxury of relishing in his sweet text. Impulsively, I walk to the front of the house, looking out the window toward the street. He’s gone. Thank god. But gone or not, I’m completely frazzled. I hastily walk from one door to the next, verifying all are locked. I then go to the kitchen to put on some hot tea to calm my nerves. If this doesn’t work, another shower is in my future. I was so relaxed a few short moments ago, and now… well, now I just want Nick back.

Sitting curled up on the couch with my mug of hot tea, I try to center my thoughts.I will not let him rattle me.But what if, on top of dealing with my now infertile state, Mark decides to release that photo? What if seeing Nick here has made him mad enough to destroy my reputation. Why is this happening? Because I wouldn’t go out with him? He’s never had a dearth of women. He could easily find someone else.Has he done this before?

I make a choice. I’ve got to handle this without including Nick. He’s already volunteering to deal with my fertility crisis, as well as the fact I almost got arrested for driving under the influence.I can’t even remember the first time we had sex, for god’s sake.He doesn’t need any more of my dirty laundry to convince him I’m not worth it. Plus, I couldn’t bear it if he got into it with Mark and something happened to him. I won’t push him away again, but I have to keep this part of my nightmare to myself.

* * *

I practically finished the entire pot of tea and ran the hot shower until the water turned cold. I’m a little calmer than before but still on edge. I decide to just get in the bed and hope Nick returns as he said he would. But at 9:40 p.m., it’s already later than I expected he’d be.I wonder if he had to take someone to the OR?

Bzzz. Bzzz.

Again, flinching at the sudden intrusion into the stillness, I grab my phone relieved Nick is finally texting he’s on his way.

9:42 p.m.

Unknown number

Unknown number: Not dating, huh?

Dammit. There’s no doubt who’s texting from this unknown number now. Sure, I said I wasn’t dating. But technically, I’m not. Nick is offering to care for a friend. What business is it of Mark’s anyway? Why the hell am I having to defend myself?

I refuse to get out of this bed to check the street again. I’ll only make myself crazier than I already am. Sinking into my sheets, I pull the covers up to my neck as I try to relax.Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, Kat. Nick will be back soon.

* * *

And back he came. Stripping down to his boxers, he climbs into bed behind me, curling his warm body around mine. Completely unaware of the time, I relax into him as he holds me. I’ve never been so thankful for anyone to be by my side. Feeling his strong limbs wrap tightly around me isn’t sexual but sensitive. Not romantic but reassuring. His choice to stay an ever-present, compassionate reminder of his desire to take care of me, and himself, by allowing someone in. With him by my side, I can handle this. I honestly think I can handle anything.

Night after night, Nick would return. He’d sweetly ask permission to visit or stay. He’s always respectful not to push for something sexual. My body and my heart have to heal before I can return to anything physical. Some nights we cuddle on the couch and watch mindless television or sports. Other nights he just drags his weary body in after a long day, showers, and we go to bed. At times we talk into the early hours before sleep claims us, others, we comfort each other silently as we drift off. It’s becoming more and more evident Nick is all the medicine I need, for there’s never an issue with sleep when he’s near.

Occasionally, I stay with Nate. I even stayed with Rachel one evening when Steven was away on business. I have a lot of mending to do with my family. I’m not sure how we lost our way, but if there’s a silver lining in my loss, it’s gaining their love and affection.

* * *

Walking to the mailbox, I wrap my arms around me to combat the frigid air. I hadn’t realized how much the temperature had changed. I haven’t left the house much in the last few weeks. Between Amazon, grocery delivery services, and Nick, I haven’t had to venture out. As I get closer to the mailbox, I see a delivery van pull up.

Opening my mailbox to grab a few small business envelopes, I greet him. “Hi, Bernie.”

“Hi, Kat.”

“What do you have for me today?”

He chuckles. “Uh, roses. Like every day.”

I can’t help but giggle back. “Ha, you’re right. But they’re all different.”

“He’s going to run out of colors soon.”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll come up with something when you guys have to break the news to him,” I share, reaching over to grab the delicate vase with a dozen pale peach roses nestled inside. “Bern, can you come to the porch? I didn’t expect you to come pulling up.”

---