Page 85 of Fractured

“Kat.” He exhales, tucking my hair behind my ear.

“Remember ‘Hey, beautiful’? Yeah, he was a real asshole. After losing the baby, I confirmed he’d been cheating on me pretty much the whole three years we were together. He actually took out one of the nurses while I was in the freaking hospital.” I watch as Nick’s expression turns monstrous and try to calm him as best I can by stroking his chest and arms. “It isn’t worth it to get upset by the jerk. It’s in the past. But tomorrow is the anniversary of that horrible day.” I’m surprised no tears come with this declaration. “I decided today I’m going back to work. I need to start embracing some normal again. But I’m not ready for anything Christmassy beyond the television.”

I play with the fringe of the wrap I’m bundled in as I continue to speak. “I might visit my family. They surprised me when I was in the hospital. We’ve always been there for each other but not affectionate or open with our feelings. They stepped out of their comfort zones for me when I really needed it. I feel like I need to repay the favor.”

“Wow, Katarina. I had no idea. I’m sure this has been harder than I ever realized. Are you ready to go back to work?”

“I’m not sure I’ll ever feel ready. I just want to stay in my cocoon with you.” I stop to run the back of my hand down his stubbly cheek and offer a warm smile to this man I adore more than life itself. “I need to get back to it, though, or I’ll wallow in this too long. I’m going to offer to work on Christmas Eve. The day will be slower. Easier to manage. I’ll go to my family’s Christmas morning and watch my niece and nephew open gifts and come back here to recover. It’ll all work out. What about you? What were you thinking?”

“Well, I was hoping to take you to my dad’s. But I understand. Once you’re ready, I’d like you to meet him. We’ll probably do as we did for Thanksgiving and invite Gavin and his mother over. They don’t have family nearby, and Dad’s really grown close to Gavin. He’s been good for both of us, really.”

“I’ve never told you, but I think it’s amazing what you’re doing with Gavin.”

“Yeah, it’s odd. People say that, but I don’t feel like I’m doing anything. He’s a great kid under all the snark. It’s been good for me.”

“What’s his mom like?”

“Can’t get much of a read on her. She’s my age. She seems to love Gavin but doesn’t spend much time with him. She’s busy with work. I’m sure it isn’t easy being a single parent.” He appears to have an odd expression on his face when he’s speaking of her.

“Wow, I didn’t realize she was that young.”

“Yeah, me either.”

I sit quietly, not knowing how I feel about all of this. Both of them invested in this young man. I recall her appearing attractive when I saw her at the soccer field the day she dropped off Gavin. Suddenly, I feel fingers tickling my ribs. “What’re you doing?” I shriek.

“You jealous, kitten?”

“No.”

“Ah, oh, well.” He stops teasing.

“Okay, maybe a little,” I reply, watching a proud smirk cross his face. He grabs me, pulling me into his body to snuggle as he takes the remote from me.

Settling on something, he says, “Hmm. How aboutHolidate? This looks good.”

* * *

Christmas Eve morning arrives and I’m getting myself together to head to work. Nick left early to get to the office as they have a short day scheduled. He seemed to be quite happy about this fact, announcing, “I’m a man. Christmas Eve is when real men get our shopping done.” He blew me a kiss and promised to see me when I was done for the day.

Nick arrives late in the evening, after I’ve made it home following my first shift back. As far as the ER goes, it wasn’t too bad. Most people had deferred a trip to the ER unless it was a true emergency, given the sacredness of the day.

“What time do you head to your family’s house tomorrow?” Nick whispers into the back of my neck, wrapped around me like a second layer of skin.

“I have to get up early. The kids are anxious to open things. Rachel lets them open their stocking and gifts from Santa, but they wait on the rest of us for everything else. I’m sure there’s only so much ‘how much longer’ Rachel and Steven can take.” I laugh and feel a rumble along my back from Nick’s chest as he joins in. I can’t help but feel a little forlorn thinking of other people watching their kids open things on Christmas morning.

“What about you?” I ask. “When do you head out?”

“We’re doing ours a little later. Picking up Gav and Shelly at about eleven so we can have lunch together at my dad’s. The gifts aren’t as big a deal at our house.”

We lie quietly together, and I start to wonder if he’s fallen asleep.

“Kat?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re all the gift I want.”

“Now you’ve done it. You’ve gone and made me cry again.” I reach back to playfully smack his arm. “And I’d made it the whole day.”

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