Page 87 of Fractured

11:48 a.m.

Nick Barnes

Nick: Hey, whatcha doin? I miss you.

Okay, Nick, now that’s out of the way. Type your damn progress note on this patient.

11:55 a.m.

Kat Kelly

Kat: I’m about to go visit Katrina and the baby.

This makes me happier than it should. I’m so proud of her. Not only did she choose to visit someone she seems to care about, someone less fortunate than herself, but this woman who’s been told she can no longer have children is going to comfort another who didn’t realize she was pregnant. Recalling the story Kat shared, I shake my head. I don’t entirely understand the relationship that Katarina has formed with this young woman. Sounds like this girl is a bit of a mystery.

As I sit here attempting to focus on the task at hand, it dawns on me Katarina may have bitten off more than she can chew. At my insistence, she’s visiting a young woman with a baby in the NICU. What if it’s too much for her. I start to panic.Fuck. What was I thinking pushing her?

12:10 p.m.

Nick Barnes

Nick: Are you going to be okay? If it gets you upset, please call me. I’ll come and meet you.

12:14 p.m.

Kat Kelly

Kat: I’ll be okay. I’ve got this, Saint Nick.

12:18 p.m.

Nick Barnes

Nick: No, we’ve got this.

Call me if you need me.

Hell, I almost told her I loved her over a text message. We need to have that date night soon, or I’m likely to blurt it out in my sleep. I want it to be special when I tell her. Because as far as I’m concerned, she’s the last woman I’ll ever say it to.

Kat

I pull up to the hospital and take a deep breath. I’ve got this. I hadn’t considered I was walking into a room full of babies when I decided to visit Katrina. When Nick encouraged me to do something for someone today, she was the first person I thought of.

I’d been working on a little outfit for Grace when I was home alone. I made a little skirt out of tulle. Given how tiny Grace is, it didn’t require much fabric. The alternating red and yellow tulle was tied around a red ribbon, creating a tutu for the bottom of the costume. I’d found a superman preemie onesie for the top. Sewing a little scrap of red silk fabric to the onesie, it looked as if there was a cape. If anyone had superhero powers, it was this little girl. She’d fought the good fight since the day she popped out.

Walking the cold, sterile hallway toward the NICU, I keep the outfit tucked in a bag under my arm. As I approach the nurses’ station, I can see Katrina in her yellow gown, rocking little Grace in a wooden rocking chair. The nurses recognize me from prior visits and advise I can wash up and don my yellow gown and join Katrina when I’m ready.

“Hey, Katrina. Merry Christmas. Sorry I didn’t make it before today. I’ve had some personal things to attend to.” I grimace as I say this, realizing Nick’s right. I need to focus on someone else.

“Hi, Kat. I understand. I’m always glad to see you.” I notice she doesn’t appear glad. Her expression appears flat today. She’s normally over the moon to see me. Strange given I’ve had no relationship with her outside of the hospital. She seemed to simply latch on to me somehow. But she doesn’t seem herself today.

“Katrina? What’s wrong? Is this all getting to you?”

“I don’t know. I think the closer I get to taking her home, the more scared I get. Kat, what if I can’t do this?”

I stoop down, so I can see her at eye level as she rocks little Gracie in the chair. “Katrina, do you want to do this?”

“Yes, of course. I love her so much.” I feel a lump in my throat as I observe how distressed she seems. “She deserves so much better than me.”

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