Page 18 of The Bitter Rival

“Ralph Waldo Emerson said, ‘To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.’ I thought he was on to something. Bernard, oh, he’s one of my favorites. ‘Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.’ Haha. You may have heard that one before. But Bernard M. Baruch said that. Then lastly, there’s Judy Garland.”

“The ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ Judy Garland?” I ask, shocked by all this self-proclaimed introvert is sharing with me.

“That’s the one. Her quote is one of my favorites. It’s always stuck with me. ‘Always be a first-rate version of yourself and not a second-rate version of someone else.’ I’ve tried to live my life that way. When I decided to put my dream of painting out there, I wasn’t trying to hide behind a false name. I wanted to have the freedom to create without interference. So I found a new name based on my favorite quotes. Having the ‘pen name,’ if you will, also provided a little more privacy through the years, living in a small town.” He chuckles. “I don’t judge you for wanting to stick it to your family that you became successful in spite of them. But, your successes or failures should mean the most to you. To hell with what others think.”

“You’re right. You’ve given me a lot to think about. I appreciate your kindness, despite my horrific behavior. Again, I hope you can forgive me. I plan to use this as a real wake-up call.”

“Well, don’t worry about me, son. It’s that young lady you should be apologizing to.”

My head, again, drops in shame. “I know. I can’t believe what’s become of me.” I shake my head, baffled at how I’ve treated the people I work with.This really is a wake-up call.

“Listen, no more lectures. I appreciate you trying to heal an old man. I admit this was of my own doing. I’ve had a good run. If, after this surgery, I’m not able to paint again, it’s on me, not you. I’ve made peace that whatever life sends my way, I’m going to accept it graciously. I’ve enjoyed creating art for many years. I could’ve been slaving away at my family’s business, miserable. Whatever happens, I’m grateful.”

“Why would you risk it? There are a lot of things I can’t even consider doing for fear it would ruin my career. I can’t use power tools, knowing it can end me.”

“I was trying to make a bookshelf for the sweet lass who lives next door. She’s really into her books, and I thought if my art didn’t impress her, maybe making a home for her prized possessions would. Hell, what you do for love.” He laughs. “But one last thing before you go. Your career is only one part of who you are. Don’t miss out on things in life because you are protecting one part of yourself. Don’t let it consume you as it did me. Otherwise, you could end up a lonely old man like me.”

I sit stunned, staring at this amazing man. I came here hoping to salvage my career with a half-hearted apology. Instead, he completely opened up to me and shared his wisdom. It’s a conversation I’d imagined a father might have with his son—if only I’d had adifferentfather.

“Thank you, sir. This conversation has meant a lot to me.” I pause, shocked at how emotional I’ve become. “Would you mind… well, if I kept in touch?” I could see by the expression on his face, he understood my request.

“I’d like that. Now, go apologize to that young woman and do a little soul searching-”

“Sebastian. Please. Call me Sebastian. I’ll let you get some rest. I’ll be by early tomorrow morning to check on you.”

Standing from my chair, all of a sudden I feel a bit overwhelmed. This day had already taken a toll, but I feel like I’m leaving my first therapy session.It’s long overdue. I didn’t realize how much baggage I’d been carrying around. Maybe Ishouldbe more grateful. In a million years, I wouldn’t have predicted this day could end this well.

Walking toward the physicians’ parking lot, I make an abrupt turn toward the emergency room. I need to use this turn of events to do the right thing. I just hope I can find the right words to say to her once I get there.

Swiping my badge, I gain access to the ER. Radiology is tucked in the back of the emergency department, between the ER and an outpatient testing center. As I head in that direction, my mind is still blank. What do I say?Just say you’re sorry, asshole. I know those words don’t come out of your haughty mouth often, but just say it.I need to forget there was ever anything between us physically. It was one night. This is simply about apologizing to a colleague that I’ve wronged.Forget that she’s the hottest colleague I’ve ever-

“Dr. Lee.”

I turn toward the voice unexpectedly shouting my name and see Donovan Grant running in my direction.

“Hey, you operated on Mr. Hansen this morning, right? How’d it go? I took care of him last night when he came in.”

Boy, now there’s a question. “I think the surgery went well.”Liar. “I’m hoping for a good outcome.”That’s a little closer to the truth. “He’s an amazing man.”Okay, that one’s at least on the mark.

“You’re right. But so are you for taking that on? That had to be incredibly stressful, knowing what was riding on you,” he generously offers.

“Dr. Grant, a stroke patient is coming to room twenty-four. He’s in CT now,” a nurse shouts as she continues down the hall.

“Ugh. The ER never sleeps. Got to run,” he adds before running back in the direction he came. Turning back toward the radiology department, it dawns on me that I don’t give a lot of the ER attendings as much credit as they deserve.Jeez, who am I right now?

Feeling more confident in my task, I stand a little taller as I walk down the hallway. I enter the first x-ray room, see no one on the table, and head to the door connecting to where the technicians usually sit. As I open it, I see multiple technicians present in this small dark space. In the far corner, standing next to an attractive young male tech with colorful tattoos climbing up his left arm, is Bella.

“Hi,” I greet them meekly. This tone feels alien to me. Yet, there’s no mistaking my name is mud around here after my last few run-ins with the staff. I notice Erin is also here. I acknowledge the need to right that wrong as well. Almost everyone in attendance has made eye contact with me, but no one’s uttering a word. I have this coming.Just grow up and do what you came here to do, Bas.

“Um, Bella. Could I speak with you a moment?”

You can hear a pin drop. I watch as the entire group turns to look at her.

Glancing up from the stack of papers in her hand, her eyes connect with mine. She must not have recognized my voice, as the sweet smile and deep dimples present moments ago have abruptly disappeared. “No.”

CHAPTERNINE

Isabella

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