Page 21 of The Bitter Rival

“Dogs never bite me. Just humans.”

CHAPTERTEN

Sebastian

It’s been an incredible few days in Bali. I can’t believe I’ve never come here before. The tranquility of this place enveloped me the minute I stepped off of the plane.

I’d found an exclusive beach-front resort in Bali with a breathtaking view of the Indian Ocean. The tropical paradise sits on the south coast of Bali Island, on Nusa Due beach. My bungalow has every amenity I need to relax and recharge. Yet, somehow this jaunt feels different than the previous escapes I’ve made.

Nick had likened my excursions to those he’d read Richard Gere making to Tibet. The actor shared his adventures with journalists who observed his emersion into the Tibetan lifestyle and Buddhist religion. I could relate to the desire to find my true self. Yet, looking back, I think I was more caught up in the uniqueness of the different cultures I visited than I was at being introspective. However, that short talk with Mr. Hansen has opened my eyes. I need to release that chip on my shoulder once and for all. If I can’t find a way to make peace with my past and regain control over my career, I’ll become just as he warned. Old and alone.

After witnessing my parents’ marriage, I had to acknowledge, the odds were against me ever having a healthy, committed relationship with anyone. Hell, I’m about to turn thirty-seven and have only slept with one woman more than once. Boy, was that a colossal mistake. My high school sweetheart had been my first and only love. Well, what I thought was love. I never told her that I loved her, but that wasn’t a sentiment I witnessed shared between two people. The only time I could remember hearing it was from my nanny. After my girlfriend and I split, I heard she moved on to some college kid. In hindsight, I’m not sure why our break-up had caused me to avoid getting close to anyone.

Maybe it was the rejection. Perhaps the lingering questions about her relationship with Sam. Or possibly it was simply that I failed at something. Who knows? I admit I’ve never completely recovered from that experience. Between that and the stellar association my parents modeled for me, why would I want to chance a relationship with someone?

Yet, Bella had me considering things I hadn’t before. As much as I was anxious about her coming to my home and waking with me the next morning, I had to admit, I was disappointed when she was gone. More unsettling than her leaving was not being able to find her afterward. For all the times I’d shielded my identity to protect myself from a woman latching on, I was the one that was left reeling. And the whole time, she was right down the hall.Was she possibly in a relationship with Donovan? They seemed awful chummy for a physician and student.

These sojourns have taught me one thing over the years. I no longer believe in coincidence. I have to face the fact that there’s some purpose in completely humiliating myself. If I’ve lost my chance with her, maybe the universe is giving me a chancewith me. I’ve been traveling the world, appreciating its splendor, yet couldn’t be bothered to appreciate the beauty surrounding me every day. Sure, I could appreciate a hot piece of ass. But not the amazing people I was fortunate to meet. Had that humbling event not happened with Bella, I don’t know that Mr. Hansen’s words would’ve sunk in. I would’ve offered him a flat, professional, take it or leave it apology and been on my way. But, facing what I’d said to the woman I’d been pining for had made me feel raw. Exposed.

As I sit here on the balcony of my bungalow, looking out onto the Indian Ocean, I feel gratitude. While I normally look for ways to incorporate a sense of inner peace on these trips, suddenly, those activities seem superficial. I acknowledge it’ll take more than one trip to Bali to get myself centered enough to stop acting like an egotistical maniac, but it’s a start.

Standing from my sling-back chair, I walk toward the teak table in my room. The list of superfluous adventures seems silly now. I’ll still visit sites I want to see, hike, and connect with mother nature, but I need to focus on the things that’ll help me find peace. I still plan to surf, hike, and take in the local culture. But visiting local temples, a yoga retreat, and a spa for meditation, relaxation, and soul searching are the mainstays of this trip. I’m shocked to find I’m no longer interested in rounding out my trip with a nameless lay. That would no doubt leave me feeling more empty than rejuvenated. Particularly after my night with Bella.

Grabbing my backpack, I head for the beach. There’s an area for snorkeling not far from here and a local restaurant offering fresh seafood by the water. Perhaps I’ll plan my next day trip to a local temple and waterfall over dinner.

Only a few days remain on this trip before I have to head home. I’ve built a cushion into my time off, allowing me to make some adjustments to my schedule once I return home. I’ve definitely come to the realization I can’t handle another stressful two weeks like the one before arriving in Bali. I’ll advise Dr. Morgan I can only cover a week at a time and will adjust my schedule to allow for the combined workloads from here on out.

Walking toward the tranquil spa before me, I take in my surroundings. The posh resort I’d booked had a spa with amazing amenities yet, I wanted something more. I’d found this retreat had been recommended by the concierge as a place of healing. There was a sparkle in her eye when she spoke of it. I’ve decided to try acupuncture and a therapeutic deep tissue massage while I’m here.

The more time I spend in Indonesia, the more magical the place becomes. I don’t know which is more welcoming, the climate, the unbelievable scenery, or the gracious people? What I do know is that eventually, I’ll need to head home, and I need to bring back the serenity I’ve found here. I cannot return to the stress-filled life I was living. Maybe these treatments can send me back in a better headspace.

As I rinse off in the narrow open-air shower facing the ocean, I breathe in the tranquil space. Turning off the water, I towel off and head to the massage table as the attendant had instructed. Lying face down, I attempt to stretch my shoulders. I’m not sure what I was expecting to happen with the acupuncture technique, but maybe its effects will be more obvious later. I’d read it could help release pent-up aggression and stress. At this point, I’m willing to try anything.

Hearing a door open behind me, a woman’s voice greets me as she comes closer. We go over the usual questions regarding massage, and she advises she’ll be placing a warming lotion on my skin. As the droplets hit my aching trapezius muscles, an instant sizzle is present. There’s no concern for burning my skin or allergic reaction, but a true warming sensation that’s quite different than I’ve experienced with past massage oils. Her nimble fingers dive into the overstressed muscles and tissue of my upper back, and I start to feel more relaxed than I’ve felt in weeks. Not since lying in bed with Bella had anything felt this good.Fuck. Where’d that come from?

As the woman’s skillful hands stroke my skin, I can’t help but recall how my body had reacted to Bella. I’ve been with hundreds of women, and no one had ever made me feel that alive. What’s more, I’d never felt so satisfied afterward. Curled up against her sleeping frame, I felt truly sated. No trip to Bali or the Maldives could touch what she’d done for me.

My surgeries had gone amazingly well the weeks following. While I blamed the poor surgical experiences of late on the team at St. Luke’s, I had to admit there’d been some less than pleasant procedures performed at Mary Immaculate as well. The common denominator here is me.

I’d felt so at peace after that night with Bella. Is that what had me chasing after her every Friday night at the club? Do I want more of the magic she possesses? Her black magic that soothes my nerves and allows me to perform at my best? Or is it her I crave? Maybe after all of these years, I’ve met my match. Why else did I give her my first name in the courtyard? Hell, she now knows my place of employment and my home address. I barely know her name. Her name tag said Isabella Potter. I take it Bella is a nickname?

Advising me to roll onto my back, the masseuse lifts the blanket for me to turn, and I catch the appreciative look she gives. Her eyes trail up my body to my face, and I realize it’s my dick she’s smiling about. Normally, this would be the point where I’d insinuate ahappy endingwould be welcome, yet, today, this feels wrong.

My thoughts are redirected to the skilled woman above as I again feel the warm, sizzling sensation of massage oil connecting with my skin. I observe the dark-haired beauty. She’s tall, thin, and undeniably gorgeous. She’s very much my type. As more oil is applied to my lower belly, a smile crosses her features at my perusal of her.

“You like?”

Unsure if she is asking about the massage oil or her, I simply answer, “Yes.” I witness a familiar glimmer in her eyes as she looks back toward me, and I quickly decide to clarify. “What is that?” Tipping my head toward the brown bottle in her hand.

“This? It’s warming oil. To loosen your body,” she answers, her voice thick with her native accent. She suddenly dips her head down to my navel and traces her tongue from my abdomen to my chest before looking up at me. “It’s organic,” she says with a wink.

Startled, I sit up, holding the sheet against me to prevent further unwantedlicks. “I didn’t mean to give you the wrong impression. You’re beautiful, but I’m not-”

“It’s okay. I saw you had responded to my touch,” she says, pointing to my dick which is still at half-mast. My thoughts of Bella had apparently gotten me hard, not this woman. Why did this feel so wrong? Was it because I’m here for a different purpose? I’m looking for peace instead of pussy, for once. It couldn’t possibly be about Bella.Hell, that’s never going to happen now.

“Thank you for this.” I reach for my clothes, hoping she’ll realize this tantric massage has come to an end. “I’ll settle up in the lobby once I’m dressed.” As she turns to leave, I quickly dress. What the hell has happened to me? I haven’t gotten laid in over a month. She was mine for the taking. Granted, I’m committed to getting myself to a better place. But I never committed to becoming a monk. Grabbing for the door handle, I stop momentarily. Grabbing the brown bottle of warming oil, I take it with me to the front desk.

Exiting the spa, I rub the back of my neck. I’m not as relaxed as I’d been a few short moments ago. Maybe that acupuncture session will kick in by the time I’m back home.Lord, I need to get my life back on track.

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