Page 92 of The Bitter Rival

“Austin said you had something you needed to say.”

“Bella, I…” My mouth is so dry. How will she ever believe I’m sincere if I’m begging forgiveness while holding this grilled cheese? “Would you mind?” I hand her the sandwich, and she rolls her eyes at me as she carries it over to the kitchen table. “GG, I’m sorry. Please, please believe how sorry I am.”

“Oh, I know how sorry you are.” She’s so mad. I have this coming.Just take it like a man, Sebastian.

“I know I went about this all wrong, but I was trying to do the right thing by you.”

“Ah, leaving town with a blonde just hours after you were in my bed. Not even a note to say goodbye. That was doing the right thing?”

“No. You’re right. I handled all of this poorly. I was trying to protect you. You’ve given your whole life to others. You put your ex through medical school just to watch him leave. You’ve devoted your adult life to caring for your child. I couldn’t saddle you with this too. I found out the day I came here that I have MS. I quit my job before I could hurt a patient who was seeking help from me-”

“Then you quit me. You quit us. Not just me and you, Austin too.”

I’m a little taken aback that she isn’t shocked to find out I have multiple sclerosis. Is she that mad she isn’t fazed? “I know that’s the way it seemed, but I couldn’t risk you giving up more of your life to care for me. You’d just graduated from your program and were starting a job you love. You were asking about babies, and I didn’t know how I was going to take care of myself, much less an infant. I couldn’t let you take on everything yourself.”

“That’s not your decision to make, Sebastian.”

“I know.” I drop my head in shame. Gene was right on the money. “But none of that with her was real. I staged that whole situation with Sophia, so you’d be mad enough to move on and not look back. I wanted you to have a full life.”

“But that’s the problem, Sebastian. It was real. You walked out on us without a word. You weren’t concerned for our feelings when you left. The hurt you left behind was very real,” Isabella murmurs as a single tear tumbles down her beautiful face.What the hell have I done?

Turning her face away from me, she swipes at her tear and lifts her chin. God, I’m so in love with this proud creature. “Are you okay?” She sniffles.

“Baby, I’ll never be okay if I can’t figure out a way for you to forgive me. I can live with this,” I say, pointing to my braces. “I can’t live without you.”

I see her take in the braces, and her face softens a bit. “Why are you wearing Austin’s clothes?”

“I fell in the snow and couldn’t get up. He helped me in and even got me out of the wet stuff.”

A look of shock takes over her features, but I still can’t tell if I’m out of the woods. “Can I stay?”

“What?”

“Can I stay here?”

“On the couch? Sure, if that’s what you want. It’s been a really long day for me. I’m going to bed. You can show yourself out in the morning,” she says, spinning on her heel and walking toward her room.

I’m unsure how I feel at the moment. She hasn’t turned me away, so there’s that. She hasn’t forgiven me, but I’m still here. Austin appears to have forgiven me, so I’ll take that as a win and hope tomorrow will bring her around. I’m not sure how I’ll sleep lying on this couch so close to her, but I’d rather be here in this house with the two of them than anywhere else in the world right now. I’ll take whatever she’ll give me.

Looking at my watch, it reads 10:10 p.m. I can’t believe, after all this time, my boxers still feel wet. I grab my braces from the floor and head for the bathroom. Stopping by the kitchen table, I take a few bites of the now cold cheese sandwich and throw the rest in the trash before cleaning up the kitchen. I slowly make my way down the hall to the bathroom and notice Bella’s door is cracked. She’s lying on her side, her back to the door. I’ve never wanted to go to someone so much in my life, but I know now isn’t the time. I meander down the hallway a bit farther and notice Austin is in bed, eyes closed, but the light is still on in his room. Dying of curiosity, I decide to peek inside to see how the leaf mural turned out and gasp.

The brown and burgundy leaves are now gone and in its place is a wall of vibrant blue waves. The rolling water has a circular appearance to it, reminiscent of Van Gogh’s ‘Starry Night’ painting. Looking back toward Austin, I verify he’s asleep before I carefully come closer to the wall. To the untrained eye, the painting appears to depict a turbulent sea with a brown-haired mermaid seated in the upper left-hand corner and a sailboat tossing about the sea to the right. Yet, as I examine the mermaid more closely, my breath hitches.

The woman sits in profile, one single tear tumbling from her eye toward the water down below. This is an ocean of tears. Of Bella’s tears. Looking more closely at the sailboat, I realize it isn’t a boat at all, but a seagull whose wings appear broken, hanging down by its sides. How could he have known? What torment has this young man watched me put his mother through?

I swiftly turn toward the bathroom, praying I won’t awaken them in my haste and barely make it inside before I drop myself onto the closed commode lid to collect myself. I love these two people beyond anything I’ve ever known. I feel physically sick that I’ve hurt them this way. How will I ever be able to show them how incredibly sorry I am? I may have walked away that morning with good intentions, but I left my heart here in this home and proceeded to destroy theirs.

“Good morning.” I hear above me. Opening my eyes, I find Austin holding out a bowl to me.

“Good morning, bud. What’s that?”

“Breakfast.”

Taking the bowl from him, I notice what appears to be a sugary cereal of some sort with a splash of milk.

“It’s Captain Crunch. It’s my favorite. Mom won’t let me use the stove when she’s gone.”

“Thanks, Austin. It looks great.”

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